Parents, let's solve this problem for our kids
-
Sun_2010:
well said, Sun2010 :salute:In general most parents give too much of what the child really does not need and too little of what the child really needs
Too much - academic pressure, even pressure to excel in the CCA activities, too many toys and clothes and gadgets and junk food ...
too little - of our time, values , entrust them with too little responsibilities, less trust in them to fall and pick up,
Children receive too little love - few families have a solid relation with extended family - the aunts and uncles and cousins , we cant substitute that with all our time and money.
Not that we love our children less but we have too many burdens on our shoulders and too much expectation of ourselves and our kids that it gets lost in translation :sad:
In short too much involvement in their lives than they need.
Again this is a general take, based on what i see around me and especially with me. -
concern2:
:yikes: 44k?! Mine was only 2k+ from KK inclusive of a 2 nights at the wards, and meals...(I thought I was staying at hotelSilentHermit:
[quote=\"3Boys\"]Nothing to do with the hospital. We should pay for it....with taxpayers money.
They knew it was a multiple pregnancy with high risk for complications, why did they not go to a g'ment hospital?
3Boys is right. Typically twins and above may have early delivery, thus ICU care, thus more cost. I think good gynie will know that. When my wife has twins, gynie advised, if there is any problem, call ambulance, go to KK striaight, do not rush to our hospital, KK has the best facilities and cost will be cheaper too. At that point, I do not know what she was talking about.
Then came the day when the water bag burst. My Wife and maid called ambulance, went straight to hospital. When all was settle and I was sitting down with the hospital staff, she worked out an estimated budget of the possible cost involved. She went.. hmmm... so this plus that plus this plus that.. hmm.. she shown me the calculator.. est. 44k... (Having mentally added up cash and medisave earlier, I was thinking.. phews.. manageable)..
Then she went.. \"Oh, you have twins... so X 2!!\"... Then I was like..
Anyway, she also told me, but dont worry, if you cant pay, someone will. If you have any problem, come talk to me. That was as far as I know..I do not know what she meant by someone will pay for it.. cos at the end I manage to settle the bills myself and it was lesser than what she budgeted for 2 babies..
SH
)only it wasn't A wards, but C.
Anyway, 2 years after that I had DD, it was 2k up, but I delivered her myself, so down by 1k+, worked out to be almost the same as DS..
[/quote]
Hmmm.. My twins came out at 6 mth pregnancy, stayed in icu for 3 months each. Yours not the same type of case right? -
Strparent:
Oh, she did say immediate relative can help. But I think what she was saying was that they have some kinds of donors for such cases .. Not really sure, did not probe...
I assume you did not heed yr gynae and went to a private hospital ?SilentHermit:
Then came the day when the water bag burst. My Wife and maid called ambulance, went straight to hospital. When all was settle and I was sitting down with the hospital staff, she worked out an estimated budget of the possible cost involved. She went.. hmmm... so this plus that plus this plus that.. hmm.. she shown me the calculator.. est. 44k... (Having mentally added up cash and medisave earlier, I was thinking.. phews.. manageable)..
44k for delivery is.....'manageable' ? :nailbite: :nailbite:
You the man, you the can.
Twins were out at 6 mths pregnancy, needed to stay at least 3 months in incubator, must be able to eat well on their own and reach certain weight before they can discharge. In fact, one of them have lung complication too and the elder one even has his heart stopped a few times. They were like so kittens in size...SilentHermit:
maybe she meant , if you cant pay all, your wife account also can. if not enough, your father, mother, brother, sister, auntie, uncle, neighbour, classmate,colleague,etc can all chip in ? :imanangel:Then she went.. \"Oh, you have twins... so X 2!!\"... Then I was like..
Anyway, she also told me, but dont worry, if you cant pay, someone will. If you have any problem, come talk to me. That was as far as I know..I do not know what she meant by someone will pay for it..
-
Strparent:
No apology needed, Strparent.
paiseh, me bad :oops:3Boys:
Strparent, I am not being sarcastic. If we as a society have decided that multiple pregnancy (presumably due to fertility treatment), with all it's attendant complications, is meritorious and should be supported, then society as a whole must be willing to share the burden.
So I say, MOH pay, and pass the cost on to tax base. It's fine with me, honest. -
SilentHermit:
No wonder. Definitely different case.
Hmmm.. My twins came out at 6 mth pregnancy, stayed in icu for 3 months each. Yours not the same type of case right? -
Busymom:
Currently govt subsidise childcare fees at $300/mth for working mothers. That will work up to a total of $18000 if child starts childcare at 18mths. Parents can make use of the CDA which matches up to $6000 for 1st and 2nd child more for the 3rd and 4th child. Average childcare fee is about $850/mth, so if a parent chooses an average childcare, they will pay about $450/mth if we take into consideration the $6000 CDA match from govt.[ :goodpost:
I will add one more: need to look into providing more quality infantcare and childcare at affordable price.
Like what someone said in another thread, if it costs $1250 a month to have 1 child in preschool, multiply that for 12 months over 4 years, it would cost $60,000 a child for his preschool years. If you have 3 kids, it would be $180,000 without factoring in inflation.
Have I scared anyone away from having a third child?
Average of $450 childcare expenses for your child to be fed breakfast, lunch and teabreak, for caregiving to be given and for the child to be prepped for P1. Is that really that expensive? Childcare centres operate 12hours, some 13hours. You are paying about $2/hr for such service.
While I agree that more can be done to improve the childcare and preschool industry, and of course, everything can be cheaper. But is it really truly that expensive or unaffordable for the average family? Not talking needy as needy have other schemes. Even a family with total income of $3500 can apply for additional financial assistance to defray childcare costs. -
Another problem I see is us, ourselves and the message we are giving to our own kids. I see my preschool kids coming to us saying their mother or father say no money for this and that. Preschool kids telling me they do not want to have children next time cos their parents tell them it is very tough to raise kids. Yes, they are preschoolers now and may change their minds later. But fact is they are parroting what their parents are saying. Smarter kids will ask their parents in that case why have me? And the parent’s answer, cos we did not know better.
My own MIL telling me not to have anymore kids after my 2 kiddos, when she heard we were hoping to have 3, maybe even 4, as it will be very stressful and a strain on our finances. My staff whose children are in their 20s are telling her they do not wish even to get married. Why bother to get married when they have no intention to have kids. Why do they not want kids, cos she and her husband have been telling them since they were kids how things are getting tougher and tougher, competition getting more, gone are the good old days and anyone of this generation or later generation will have to struggle more. So their thoughts, why bring a life into this world to suffer.
If we have this mentality and are passing such believes to our kids, how can we expect our kids to want to have their own kids. -
:goodpost: thank you for speaking up. I think not many of us look into the cost/hr.
Funz:
Currently govt subsidise childcare fees at $300/mth for working mothers. That will work up to a total of $18000 if child starts childcare at 18mths. Parents can make use of the CDA which matches up to $6000 for 1st and 2nd child more for the 3rd and 4th child. Average childcare fee is about $850/mth, so if a parent chooses an average childcare, they will pay about $450/mth if we take into consideration the $6000 CDA match from govt.Busymom:
[ :goodpost:
I will add one more: need to look into providing more quality infantcare and childcare at affordable price.
Like what someone said in another thread, if it costs $1250 a month to have 1 child in preschool, multiply that for 12 months over 4 years, it would cost $60,000 a child for his preschool years. If you have 3 kids, it would be $180,000 without factoring in inflation.
Have I scared anyone away from having a third child?
Average of $450 childcare expenses for your child to be fed breakfast, lunch and teabreak, for caregiving to be given and for the child to be prepped for P1. Is that really that expensive? Childcare centres operate 12hours, some 13hours. You are paying about $2/hr for such service.
While I agree that more can be done to improve the childcare and preschool industry, and of course, everything can be cheaper. But is it really truly that expensive or unaffordable for the average family? Not talking needy as needy have other schemes. Even a family with total income of $3500 can apply for additional financial assistance to defray childcare costs. -
Like. :goodpost: again.
Having lesser to spread around may not necessarily mean \"suffering\". Certain things cannot scrimp but plan a little and one probably can make do with the little one has.
I have a colleague who is always saying things like,\"you know la, hubby and I don't earn much and we have a lot of financial burdens....\" but hor, her kid's is going to six enrichment classes. Over the past 9 months her family had gone holiday at gold coast, Bangkok and a stay cation at sentosa festive hotel. Er... Is this a true case of \"not earning enough\" or \" too much financial burden\"?Funz:
Another problem I see is us, ourselves and the message we are giving to our own kids. I see my preschool kids coming to us saying their mother or father say no money for this and that. Preschool kids telling me they do not want to have children next time cos their parents tell them it is very tough to raise kids. Yes, they are preschoolers now and may change their minds later. But fact is they are parroting what their parents are saying. Smarter kids will ask their parents in that case why have me? And the parent's answer, cos we did not know better.
My own MIL telling me not to have anymore kids after my 2 kiddos, when she heard we were hoping to have 3, maybe even 4, as it will be very stressful and a strain on our finances. My staff whose children are in their 20s are telling her they do not wish even to get married. Why bother to get married when they have no intention to have kids. Why do they not want kids, cos she and her husband have been telling them since they were kids how things are getting tougher and tougher, competition getting more, gone are the good old days and anyone of this generation or later generation will have to struggle more. So their thoughts, why bring a life into this world to suffer.
If we have this mentality and are passing such believes to our kids, how can we expect our kids to want to have their own kids. -
Her financial burden is her life style!
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login