at wits end

[concern2]

slmkhoo:

For younger kids, their sense of reality may not be so good yet, and they may mix up reality with wishful thinking, so a young child who seems to tell lies may actually be saying what she wishes to be true rather than the actual truth, if you know what I mean. I wouldn't worry too much unless it persists into Pr school. In the meanwhile, you can gently point out her inaccuracies, giving her the benefit of the doubt, unless you are sure there is an intent to deceive. Even when there is an intent to deceive, if she shows that she's sorry, then just correct but not be too hard until she's older. At the same time, you can help her work out ways to approach you or persons in authority respectfully and politely when she isn't happy with something. And as parents, we all need to be willing to hear dissenting opinions from our kids without blowing up - and I know how hard that is!

:thankyou: This is helpful! Will share with my DH (this time it is DH, haha!)

[myebelle]

From what I've read, I think your DD has high potential for great things in her life. She is very smart and needs to be constantly challenged. She needs goals so she knows what she is working towards, and why.


Does she have a hobby? An interest? Or a dream? Perhaps a profession she aspires towards? Sometimes I find that children relate better to an idol (someone successful), be it someone famous, or someone they know, or someone in the family ... someone they admire and want to be. Because I know most successful people didn't succeed by sheer luck. They all worked hard towards their goal, faced many difficulties or heaven forbid, failures, and learn how to cope and overcome them. If she has someone she looks up to, it is easier to relate and work hard to achieve her dreams.

I know at this age, their dreams change... quite frequently But it doesn't matter. Having a goal to work towards is the key. Perhaps you can set her short-term and long-term goals (challenging ones that are within her means and area of interest) and reward her for achieving them.

All the best.



Michelle

[Imami]

Thehungergames’s posts about her daughter reminded me of someone - myself.


I played truant too, during secondary school days. Was aiming for some of the best girls schools back then but missed cue in psle and ended up in a pai Kia sec school. I was bored and demoralized. I started skipping classes so that I could work part time. Got into trouble when my father spotted me at my work place when I was supposed to be in school.

my father asked some questions and was more curious than angry/upset/disappointed. I told him i was bored in school and earning money seemed more important and useful (my family was always on a shoe string budget). His closing statement was," heed my advise… Stay in school… Get at least a full o level cert and you are free to do what you want."

Naturally my mum got to know about this too. All she said was," I gave you life by bringing you to this world but I can’t help you to live your life."

Looking back, I wondered if they were at their wits’ end? But I believed I didn’t rebel any worse because they didn’t tighten their leash after that episode.

[Imami]

Gosh… Not sure why am I writing about myself also!? But it was a little deja vu as I read thehungergames’s posts…

[corneyAmber]

Imami:

Gosh... Not sure why am I writing about myself also!? But it was a little deja vu as I read thehungergames's posts...

Maybe you can advise her how you turn around so that she can see if it works on her girl?

[Imami]

ksi:

Imami:

Gosh... Not sure why am I writing about myself also!? But it was a little deja vu as I read thehungergames's posts...

Maybe you can advise her how you turn around so that she can see if it works on her girl?

:scared: huh.....?

How I turn around? Like I said, my parents didn't make any changes to my life after learning that I skipped school. But because of what they said, I felt like I had some foolish decisions/ideas (yes indeed, now that I looked back) and that I should strive to keep myself in school.

Since I had already written this much, I might as well finish my story- I managed to pull through sec 1 with reasonably good grades (it was a breeze) but I flunked my sec 2 very badly. My father, upon seeing my report book, asked me,\"what's your plan?\"

I replied: stay in school. You told me that.
Father: how to stay in school like that (with this kind of grades)?
Me: I will study hard.
Father: ok.

The following week, my father bought me a writing table (prior to that, I did my homework on a small coffee table nex to the sofa). I felt very loved and supported... Really. Knowing that my parents loved me was enough for me not to break their hearts or defy their wishes.

My story probably can't help the thread starter much since my grades were horrible but her daughter was within top 3. But perhaps the same kind of understanding, magnanimity and patience can be given to the young girl?

I marveled at my parents' coolness and trust in me. As a parent, I am not sure if I can also be that \"zai\" when it comes to my own kid.

[PhoBIA]

Sometimes when you pull a rubber band too tight, it might snap. Your dd may be seeking your attention unknowingly. We may think our children has grown up but maybe deep down in her heart, she still wishes she hasn’t.

[kitty2]

May be school counsellor can help :?:

[concern2]

Imami:

ksi:

[quote=\"Imami\"]Gosh... Not sure why am I writing about myself also!? But it was a little deja vu as I read thehungergames's posts...

Maybe you can advise her how you turn around so that she can see if it works on her girl?

:scared: huh.....?

How I turn around? Like I said, my parents didn't make any changes to my life after learning that I skipped school. But because of what they said, I felt like I had some foolish decisions/ideas (yes indeed, now that I looked back) and that I should strive to keep myself in school.

Since I had already written this much, I might as well finish my story- I managed to pull through sec 1 with reasonably good grades (it was a breeze) but I flunked my sec 2 very badly. My father, upon seeing my report book, asked me,\"what's your plan?\"

I replied: stay in school. You told me that.
Father: how to stay in school like that (with this kind of grades)?
Me: I will study hard.
Father: ok.

The following week, my father bought me a writing table (prior to that, I did my homework on a small coffee table nex to the sofa). I felt very loved and supported... Really. Knowing that my parents loved me was enough for me not to break their hearts or defy their wishes.

My story probably can't help the thread starter much since my grades were horrible but her daughter was within top 3. But perhaps the same kind of understanding, magnanimity and patience can be given to the young girl?

I marveled at my parents' coolness and trust in me. As a parent, I am not sure if I can also be that \"zai\" when it comes to my own kid.[/quote]Imami, thanks for sharing your true story. I've been touched by the way your parents dealt with your situation. I feel the same way as you in your last sentence.

[corneyAmber]

Yeah I am sure your story Imami will be of help to hungergames.