Suicide - Do not involve the children

[Sun_2010]

ksi:

:salute: Imami.. :hugs: phankao. Glad that both of you survived your experiences. It may be tough but don't let go of yourself...even though sometimes it is something one cannot control due to body controlling... And NOW you have kiasuparents.com if you need to talk.....

Yeah, Imani, phanko, my eyes blur with tears as I read your experiences. Empathy...

**** please do not quote this post******
I intend to delete this in a days as I wouldn't want my DD who prowls ksp to read this.

I wrote a blog about my experience too after about 4 years after a low point in my life and I thought I had moved on. The response from fellow bloggers was made me realize that I carried some pain with me. Blogging about it truly helped me move on. Once I realized it was not my guilty secret, many walked the path, and most empathized with me. It felt very empowering.

For those who haven't been there, or think how can one , mabe you can get a glimpse of the thoughts that cross us as we contemplate.

And for those who have been there , hope it unburdened .

[bluesclue]

Dearest All,


It's a temptation to burden yourself with the negative thoughts, but pls try to unshackle that for the good of yourself, and the loved ones around you:

http://i49.tinypic.com/k3aygy.jpg\">

[fightingmom]

Suicidal thoughts can be frightening and confusing. If one can no longer see the reason to go on living, the distress can be unbearable. 


It helps to talk to family and friends cos they may calm you down and as a third party, they may see whatever that you are facing now from a different angle and help you manage your difficulties. 

If there is no one to turn to, I guess joining online discussion group or writing down our thoughts help cos over time, it gives fresh insight and increase our ability to respond to our difficulties differently. 

All of us have difficulties at times but there is no difficulty too great to overcome. 

[Mychildren]

fightingmom:

Suicidal thoughts can be frightening and confusing. If one can no longer see the reason to go on living, the distress can be unbearable. 


It helps to talk to family and friends cos they may calm you down and as a third party, they may see whatever that you are facing now from a different angle and help you manage your difficulties. 

If there is no one to turn to, I guess joining online discussion group or writing down our thoughts help cos over time, it gives fresh insight and increase our ability to respond to our difficulties differently. 

All of us have difficulties at times but there is no difficulty too great to overcome. 

:goodpost: Always wanted to hug u!!! :grphug:

[phankao]

fightingmom:

Suicidal thoughts can be frightening and confusing. If one can no longer see the reason to go on living, the distress can be unbearable. 


It helps to talk to family and friends cos they may calm you down and as a third party, they may see whatever that you are facing now from a different angle and help you manage your difficulties. 

If there is no one to turn to, I guess joining online discussion group or writing down our thoughts help cos over time, it gives fresh insight and increase our ability to respond to our difficulties differently. 

All of us have difficulties at times but there is no difficulty too great to overcome. 

But talking to others doesn't solve the problem of the child at all. The only way we can solve it is to abandon the child leh - some parents can do that. Leave their child most of the time and ignore their problems, but it is still there.

Of course one way is to abort so \"prevent\" the problem. But that brings about another discussion lah.

Another way is NEVER GET MARRIED. Being single is so much better . Again, that brings about another controversial discussion !!! haha!

Have fun agreeing and disagreeing!

I'm going to :siam:

[fightingmom]

phankao:

fightingmom:

Suicidal thoughts can be frightening and confusing. If one can no longer see the reason to go on living, the distress can be unbearable. 


It helps to talk to family and friends cos they may calm you down and as a third party, they may see whatever that you are facing now from a different angle and help you manage your difficulties. 

If there is no one to turn to, I guess joining online discussion group or writing down our thoughts help cos over time, it gives fresh insight and increase our ability to respond to our difficulties differently. 

All of us have difficulties at times but there is no difficulty too great to overcome. 

But talking to others doesn't solve the problem of the child at all. The only way we can solve it is to abandon the child leh - some parents can do that. Leave their child most of the time and ignore their problems, but it is still there.

Of course one way is to abort so \"prevent\" the problem. But that brings about another discussion lah.

Another way is NEVER GET MARRIED. Being single is so much better . Again, that brings about another controversial discussion !!! haha!

Have fun agreeing and disagreeing!

I'm going to :siam:

Wah.. phankao... You have just given our KSP debate team some hot topics to agree and disagree on.

[Mychildren]

phankao:

fightingmom:

Suicidal thoughts can be frightening and confusing. If one can no longer see the reason to go on living, the distress can be unbearable. 


It helps to talk to family and friends cos they may calm you down and as a third party, they may see whatever that you are facing now from a different angle and help you manage your difficulties. 

If there is no one to turn to, I guess joining online discussion group or writing down our thoughts help cos over time, it gives fresh insight and increase our ability to respond to our difficulties differently. 

All of us have difficulties at times but there is no difficulty too great to overcome. 

But talking to others doesn't solve the problem of the child at all. The only way we can solve it is to abandon the child leh - some parents can do that. Leave their child most of the time and ignore their problems, but it is still there.

Of course one way is to abort so \"prevent\" the problem. But that brings about another discussion lah.

Another way is NEVER GET MARRIED. Being single is so much better . Again, that brings about another controversial discussion !!! haha!

Have fun agreeing and disagreeing!

I'm going to :siam:

At least it solved the parents' problem first.

But I have a few friends who want to get married so badly....Kekeke :rotflmao:

[janet88]

It is sad when suicide involves kids.

If the woman has young kids and commits suicide with them, it could be her fear that if husband remarries, the stepmother ill-treats them. For any mother to kill her own child, it is very heartbreaking.

[Lilac66]

Thanks Sun for the sharing.


ANother way is to pray.(whatever your religion). Also if we believe that our \"suicide tendency\" is only a short-lived storm, we will grit our teeth and know it'll pass.Of course if it persists, then we ought to seek professional help . In our pressure cooker society, this thought crops up once in a while in alot of people I believe. Confiding in friends, obviously will not solve the problem, but friends may offer some new perspectives to a problem and that in itself is a right start to look at a it in a different light. The mountain may not look as insurmountable then.

It's alittle like our younger rebellious days, during any tiff with my family, we'll contemplate running away from home thinking that will put an end to our woes. But finally not many will really do it and most times things get better.


I try to keep this very good quote by Dolphinsiah in the \"inspiring quotes\" thead rooted in my mind...

\" Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, but learning to dance in the rain\".

[Mychildren]

phankao:

Mychildren:

[quote=\"phankao\"]

I am afraid the thought of getting rid of the exasperating toddler situation has been so strong for me many many times over the last 18yrs since I've started being a parent with my 1st child that I can totally understand.

As such, I can never say it's \"wrong\", nor it's \"right\".

Most just do not understand.

I hope you're fine with your kid now. Sorry, I don't know how to console you.
But I do feel the pain in your words.

I can't say I am \"fine\" with them, but I can mostly ignore them and ignore my parenting \"duties\" if I want to now even. They are 18, 15, 13. Able to take care of themselves, lah. Except I do have an irritating preschooler as well!!! Yikes![/quote]Your words keep running in my mind. I don't understand the part about ignore. How could ignoring be done when they're always at your side? For your 13 & above, understand they're starting to have their own thinking & don't bother much what the adults said. But what about the small one unless u put this child in studentcare or childcare & only c him/her from the evening time on weekdays & over the weekends?
There's no obligation to answer me though.

Understand that parenting job is no easy as ABC & its not what u can follow from reading many books as every child is unique. In fact, I'm still learning that each & everyday.