Suicide - Do not involve the children

[mamago]

phankao:

Yes, yes - I should have aborted all of them to save me the trouble all these years. Ok, I'm really going to :siam: ... I'm certainly distressing some of you!

忠言逆耳利于行
良药苦口利于病

[Mychildren]

phankao:

Mychildren:

If u like music, put on some soothing music or your favourite songs while they're back. This is some sort of relaxation for me or go for a nice warm/cold bath or KSP here a while & back to them again. Kekeke

Maybe u already have a lot of ideas of what to do beside these.

Ya, or sneak into the kitchen for some yummy snacks.

How come you can have bath without the kids disturbing you? Even with a shower, my littlest one would bang at my door every few minutes to tell me things!

Sorry, went off for some time. Now then c your post. She stood there & c me bath. I mean the smallest one. Other time, the other children or my DH with her so I can have a longer bath.

Frankly speaking its nice talking to u. Find u a very frank & direct person.

[ammonite]

Phanko, no need to siam. You are honest enough to say it as it is, I am sure many mothers feel the same way, or have gone through such phases, even if they don’t voice it out.


Parenting is not always rewarding. It is a bed of roses complete with thorns. The many sacrifices are beyond financial. I freely say that while I like the IDEA of having more children, I do not want to give up more years of my life raising young ones. Another mother said the same to me after her second child - she wants to start enjoying her life again. Another mother told me there are days when she just want to strangle her toddler - and this was a very much wanted child and the parents spend a lot of time doing things with him - so she has gone back to work. Yet another younger mother told me one day that she was looking at her screaming toddler and at that moment she thought "I really hate you!" And she has a helper and works part time out of the house and was a very adventurous happy active woman. Now she is tied to this screaming bundle that screams at her and her nerves can’t take it.

Sometimes it is not post natal, I think it can be hard for someone who needs a lot of peace and quiet to recharge, to face a very strong willed screaming child. Just like it can be very frustrating for a very sociable person to be faced with a very shy introverted child who refuses to say hi to anyone.

I think many new mothers need to know that motherhood will have its ups and downs and that is normal. It is not the government advertisements where you just have a sleeping baby to take home. Relatives, friends, and differences in mother- child personalities all play a part, not to mention hormones, health issues, and later marital issues. There are a lot of adjustments all round. Self care is also important. Tis means getting enough rest, simplifying routines and expectations if possible, maintaining certain hobbies that make you still you.

[Mychildren]

Sun & Imami,


Thanks for sharing.

:thankyou: :snuggles: :hugs:

& to phankao too!

[Sun_2010]

Great sharing ammonite. Some things just seem so taboo for parents to say or feel but the truth is often like you say. And we've got to stop feeling guilty.


This talk is well worth a visit if one is planning parenthood. Even for parents it is something we can relate to...

http://www.ted.com/talks/rufus_griscom_alisa_volkman_let_s_talk_parenting_taboos.html

[Sun_2010]

Lilac66:

I try to keep this very good quote by Dolphinsiah in the \"inspiring quotes\" thead rooted in my mind...

\" Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, but learning to dance in the rain\".

Thanks for the understanding lilac, and a profound quote too.

Truly I envy those with unshakeable faith , in fact often fascinated by it. And while I realise the immense strength one gets from it, for someone like me lacks the wisdom to know when to let go....
Experience has taught me some lessons though :idea:

[Sun_2010]

Imami:

:hugs: Sun.

So true . That is why now I do not judge people, no one wants to scream and shout or die for the fun of it. It's desperation...

And you are right about talking - welling meaning friends and family give youu solutions but one really wants is a some who is there for you without being judgemental ...

I have this lump in my throat as I read your experience and want to truly reach out with a :snuggles:

You are one strong lovely Lady :hi5:

[Sun_2010]

phankao:

Mychildren:

If u like music, put on some soothing music or your favourite songs while they're back. This is some sort of relaxation for me or go for a nice warm/cold bath or KSP here a while & back to them again. Kekeke

Maybe u already have a lot of ideas of what to do beside these.

Ya, or sneak into the kitchen for some yummy snacks.

How come you can have bath without the kids disturbing you? Even with a shower, my littlest one would bang at my door every few minutes to tell me things!

Yeah I remember ( shudder shudder ) those days when I couldn't lock the bathroom door even when attending natures call - around the time of separation anxiety reared it's head... He needed to know the door was not locked . And at times that would drive me crazy and have lost it a couple of times screaming at a bewildered DH, \" cant I even pee in peace?\"

For someone who tends to be moody at times , parenting was tough job.

[Mychildren]

Sun,

Its true, my girl c me pee & :imconstipated: too. No choice la.

[Lilac66]

Sun_2010:

Lilac66:

I try to keep this very good quote by Dolphinsiah in the \"inspiring quotes\" thead rooted in my mind...

\" Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, but learning to dance in the rain\".

Thanks for the understanding lilac, and a profound quote too.

Truly I envy those with unshakeable faith , in fact often fascinated by it. And while I realise the immense strength one gets from it, for someone like me lacks the wisdom to know when to let go....
Experience has taught me some lessons though :idea:

Hi Sun,


Being able to pour out my problems to a Higher Being does give me peace, not forgetting inspiring quotes too!

But I've wavered in my faith also when faced with struggles. However, as I talk to more people, I see that I'm not alone, many are also facing their own tougher struggles, and with unbelievable grit. I try to learn from such strong people.


You're right about who we confide in though. Not just any friend or loved ones. It must be one who'll not be judgmental as you mentioned, and also one who after seeing you at your lowest, will rejoice with you when you start to pick up the pieces.