HOW TO MOTIVATE MY GIRL TO PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN HER STUDIES

[beanbear]

Chenonceau:

This post is an answer to a comment here - http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=850074#p850074


Hi hi Beanbear...

dangerous to have favourite strategies... leads to strategy over use and possibly strategy ineffectiveness. But I am really pleased that you can handle SC well enough to get good results. This is one of the easiest strategies to understand but hardest to implement because
(1) sensitivity to choice calibration (constrained to free)
(2) choice difficulty (need to be customized)

Try to match strategy to situation rather than prize any one strategy particularly. You could hurt yourself and your child in unforeseen ways.

Thanks for the advice. I get that what you've written is intended for a holistic approach to our children and certainly overusing a strategy can lead to unintended consequences especially if our intentions are not clear. I read the whole book but being an experiential person, I find that I must contextualize what I read to my real-life experiences so I tend to take a experimental approach in order to understand a concept. I hope to re-read the book again during the school holidays. But certainly your book has given me a language and grounded in psychological principles for what I've been experimenting in the past just with intuitive feel.

:thankyou:

[snowball]

snowball:

Hi Petunial, i have ordered a copy of your book yesterday...wondering when i will receive the book

Dear Petunial, I have received your book on Friday! Is really fast! :hugs: I am in chapter 6 now, although I dont understand chapter 5 pg 69 \"Quadrant\" i like the statement \" focus on study process, not grades\" .

I am looking forward to learn more on {HOW TO MOTIVATE MY GIRL TO PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN HER STUDIES} through the next chapters.

Oh yah, pg10 , figure on \"levels of internal drive\" is very meaningful TOO :goodpost:

:thankyou:

[Chenonceau]

snowball:

snowball:

Hi Petunial, i have ordered a copy of your book yesterday...wondering when i will receive the book

Dear Petunial, I have received your book on Friday! Is really fast! :hugs: I am in chapter 6 now, although I dont understand chapter 5 pg 69 \"Quadrant\" i like the statement \" focus on study process, not grades\" .

I am looking forward to learn more on {HOW TO MOTIVATE MY GIRL TO PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN HER STUDIES} through the next chapters.

Oh yah, pg10 , figure on \"levels of internal drive\" is very meaningful TOO :goodpost:

:thankyou:

If you can be specific about what it is about the quadrant you don't understand... I can explain here.

[dramamama70]

This topic touches my heart deeply. I have three kids and they are as different as chalk and cheese in terms of behaviour and attitude. I am desperately trying to motivate my DD who is in P4 and consistenly getting below average to average results. Over the years, we have sent her to all kinds of tuition and engaged all kinds of tutors. DH and I tried to even coach her ourselves but she always ends up in tears because after explaining multiple times, she still does not get it and we lose our temper. Sigh. I have just placed an order for the book and I am determined to get myself educated on this topic so that I can motivate her the best way I can. Wish me luck.

[snowball]

dramamama70:

This topic touches my heart deeply. I have three kids and they are as different as chalk and cheese in terms of behaviour and attitude. I am desperately trying to motivate my DD who is in P4 and consistenly getting below average to average results. Over the years, we have sent her to all kinds of tuition and engaged all kinds of tutors. DH and I tried to even coach her ourselves but she always ends up in tears because after explaining multiple times, she still does not get it and we lose our temper. Sigh. I have just placed an order for the book and I am determined to get myself educated on this topic so that I can motivate her the best way I can. Wish me luck.

:please: I was reading chapter 6 on the way to work this morning and i am looking forward to continue reading this evening,,,( the only \"ME\" time :imcool: i have before i rush off to my \"2nd shift\" work at home :siam:

[dramamama70]

slmkhoo:

[Is she already trying hard? Could it be that she is at the limit of her ability? I know this can be hard to accept, but some kids just won't do well academically, or at certain subjects. It's not always a lack of motivation. I speak from experience as I have a hard-working child who is just not great at Maths no matter how she works and how we explain. We just try to help her as much as possible but don't pressure her if we see that she is really trying.

Honestly, she does try very hard. There are some days though that I think she \"gives up\" and hides homework and even stops trying Those days are very hard for us to deal with because we try to teach the kids values such as honesty and perserverance.

She is a very talented dancer and looks forward to her weekly dance class and we encourage her to pursue that interest but we also tell her she has to work hard to get the best marks that she can for school. I sometimes feel she is like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole

[snowball]

snowball:

dramamama70:

This topic touches my heart deeply. I have three kids and they are as different as chalk and cheese in terms of behaviour and attitude. I am desperately trying to motivate my DD who is in P4 and consistenly getting below average to average results. Over the years, we have sent her to all kinds of tuition and engaged all kinds of tutors. DH and I tried to even coach her ourselves but she always ends up in tears because after explaining multiple times, she still does not get it and we lose our temper. Sigh. I have just placed an order for the book and I am determined to get myself educated on this topic so that I can motivate her the best way I can. Wish me luck.

:please: I was reading chapter 6 on the way to work this morning and i am looking forward to continue reading this evening,,,( the only \"ME\" time :imcool: i have before i rush off to my \"2nd shift\" work at home :siam:

i tried using 1 of the strategies : give them choices,,,

mom to p2 boy: son, do you want to do abacus or maths test paper tomorrow morning ?

son: maths test paper ( he always prefer playtime to doing any form of hw, so when given 2 choices, he is being \"forced\" to chose to do ONE hw :evil:

mom to p4 girl: girl, do you want to continue with qn3 (maths problem sum) or to take your shower to freshen up ?

daughter: shower ( she always find excuses/ very reluctant to do her maths hw, so when given 2 choices, she is being \"framed \" to do her hw after her shower, and she is happy cos she can \"CHOSE\" to do it later & i am happy too cos I know she will do it WILLINGLY after her shower :evil:

Have i successfully get them motivated ?

[Chenonceau]

snowball:

i tried using 1 of the strategies : give them choices,,,

mom to p2 boy: son, do you want to do abacus or maths test paper tomorrow morning ?

son: maths test paper ( he always prefer playtime to doing any form of hw, so when given 2 choices, he is being \"forced\" to chose to do ONE hw :evil:

mom to p4 girl: girl, do you want to continue with qn3 (maths problem sum) or to take your shower to freshen up ?

daughter: shower ( she always find excuses/ very reluctant to do her maths hw, so when given 2 choices, she is being \"framed \" to do her hw after her shower, and she is happy cos she can \"CHOSE\" to do it later & i am happy too cos I know she will do it WILLINGLY after her shower :evil:

Have i successfully get them motivated ?

That's a nice start. Well done! Be careful though... not to gloat too obviously. Kids are smart. They cotton on real quick and you dun wanna be seen as manipulative. Then your kids won't trust you anymore and when they stop trusting you, it will be difficult to motivate them even with the other strategies.

Read especially Chapter 4? That is THE most important strategy in the whole book. And do note that Chapter stresses a lot on SINCERITY... Gloating is normal, especially when you successfully motivate the action you want. Just don't be obvious about it. Kekekekekeke!

[711mum]

Chenonceau:

snowball:

Hi Petunial, i have ordered a copy of your book yesterday...wondering when i will receive the book

Hi hi... Snowball... I missed this post. Hmmmmm... how come the email didn't give me an alert? Delivery is within 10 days of payment.

Hi Chen,

I have just placed an order for your book through paypal, when can I expect to receive the book?

[verykiasumummy]

what is the book about? can anyone give me a link to view or post a pic?