ammonite:

Simkhoo and Beanbear are right. Sometimes the kids just can't handle more in their existing state. Motivation is important, but finding out their areas of weakness, AND adjusting the teaching methods can also be valuable.

Kids are also motivated by their own improvement, so beanbear's strategy for prepping a child for success is good.

Ammonite - you've got a PM from me...

Chenonceau:

Dramamama... your book is ready for collection. Strategies such as how to set your child up for success etc... are extensively covered in the book. Plus how to help your child manage failure etc...


I tried to call you and email you to let you know the self-collection point. I don't seem to be able to get you. Do check your junk email folder.

Hi there, I did receive your email this morning and replied. Sorry if I missed your call but I was in meetings all day yesterday and had my phone on silent. I am looking forward to reading your book

beanbear:

Hi dramamama, I can relate with you as my DD has been failing every subject except English since P3. Until she was assessed with learning difficulties by the educational psychologist last year, it was an uphill task getting homework done and getting her on task and trying to get her to understand basics...

Thank you beanbear and other parents for your support. I really appreciate them. I am thinking of getting DD tested to see if she has any learning difficulties so I might just do that very quickly.

I sometimes go to her room when she is asleep to look at her and I have to say I shed a tear or two when I think how hard it must be for her, and she's not even officially 10yrs old yet

But DH and I have to perservere and be strong for her and prepare her as much as we can and more importantly as much as *she* can manage. We keep reminding ourselves that our goal is to make her (and our other kids) successful in LIFE. And exams and grades are just a small part of that.

[/quote]If she’s already trying hard, telling her to work harder or setting a high target can be a demotivator. I’m not an expert in the field like Chen, but I can tell you from my personal experience that there is nothing worse than being told to work harder when you are already working as hard as you can. My father was always telling me to work harder and always setting a target that I knew I could never achieve, so I’m sympathetic to this daughter of mine. I generally feel that if she’s spent 2 hrs on something to the extent of getting frustrated and weepy, it’s time to stop. She really finds some things so hard to grasp that it’s like asking a one-legged child to win the 100m sprint.[/quote]


I agree and maybe I should clarify that we don’t set unrealistic expectations on her and we praise her for every improvement she makes. But we are also aware that the darn PSLE will hit her in 2 years time and we want her to be as prepared as possible for it. Right now her average score across all subjects is between 45-55%. At this rate we would be happy if she passed all four subjects. The amount of homework is ridiculous some times and there are days that we can’t complete all of them and then she gets anxious about not completing them for fear of being singled out by teachers. So you see, she is driven by fear to complete her daily work and I desperately want to change that negative motivation to a positive one.

slmkhoo:

[Is she already trying hard? Could it be that she is at the limit of her ability? I know this can be hard to accept, but some kids just won't do well academically, or at certain subjects. It's not always a lack of motivation. I speak from experience as I have a hard-working child who is just not great at Maths no matter how she works and how we explain. We just try to help her as much as possible but don't pressure her if we see that she is really trying.

Honestly, she does try very hard. There are some days though that I think she \"gives up\" and hides homework and even stops trying Those days are very hard for us to deal with because we try to teach the kids values such as honesty and perserverance.

She is a very talented dancer and looks forward to her weekly dance class and we encourage her to pursue that interest but we also tell her she has to work hard to get the best marks that she can for school. I sometimes feel she is like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole

This topic touches my heart deeply. I have three kids and they are as different as chalk and cheese in terms of behaviour and attitude. I am desperately trying to motivate my DD who is in P4 and consistenly getting below average to average results. Over the years, we have sent her to all kinds of tuition and engaged all kinds of tutors. DH and I tried to even coach her ourselves but she always ends up in tears because after explaining multiple times, she still does not get it and we lose our temper. Sigh. I have just placed an order for the book and I am determined to get myself educated on this topic so that I can motivate her the best way I can. Wish me luck.

kooky83:

Sounds quite nasty... All the best, friend!

Thanks! This person will know he/she picked the wrong mama to mess with! :nunchuk:

BlueBells:

You can't get anything out of the IP address from the service providers unless it is ordered by the court.


Consult a lawyer if you want to pursue it legally.

Thanks everyone. I think I will have no choice but to wait for my appointment with the lawyer next week.

jtoh:

I don't think the service providers will reveal the identity of the person. Have you filed a police report?

I haven't filed a police report yet because the content of the email would not constitute criminal intent...at least from my layman's understanding.

tankee:

Why not just block all emails from that person?

I could but I want to pursue a civil suit. And I need to have the identity of the email sender before I can do that.