Need an advice on office relationship matters

[sleepy]

BeContented:

Actually I will not fight for custody of my kids if ever we divorced due to 3rd party. But I will demand access.
Simple reason. I have given up a good part of my life to be a SAHM & take care of family & his parents so that DH can concentrate on his work without worries. Since DH loves his kids a lot, so I'm sure he would take good care of them in my absence. As for me, I would need to try to re-establish my new life, get a job etc hence it would be tough if I still have to take care of kids. If he has any doubt about his new lover's ability/willingness to take good care or treat his kids well, he better think thrice about EMA. I'm not going to let him have the easy way out by & enjoy best of both world. If he is worried for kids or new lover may not want to 'inherit' the kids, it might serve as a deterrent to EMA. (won't work for those who does not love their kids tho)

I thought there's alimony and child support?
Or law expect SAHMS to look for work after divorce? Can't continue their usual lifestyle and remain a SAHM?

[Flowermonaster]

ksi:

Flower, something just occurred to me. Say for ladies, when they see a guy like a super hero at work, everything also can do well, very capable, everything the hubby is not, so the ladies become very crushing on such a guy, is this considered 精神出轨? I have seen ladies really very 偶 this kind of man until willing to throw themselves at such a man whether the ladies are married or not or the man is married or not, so is this considered 精神出轨? :scratchhead:

If the lady 偶 this guy because he makes thing convenient for her (since he is super hero) at work then I don't think so, more likely making use of him. If willingly throw herself at the guy then yes loh. If I got super hero male colleague at work who help out & know everything I will also praise him & treat him well but will not keep thinking of him or throw myself at him, you get what I mean? There is an invisible line in between.

[sleepy]

BeContented:

In fact, they met b4 & sometimes DH joined the gatherings.

DH kinda knew we were close & frequently go out together (normally as groups). He kept quiet, said nothing tho at times told me to be careful not to give wrong signals.

Many many years later when DH & I were talking about 'straying', I confessed. He admitted he kinda knew, but he trusted me enough :love:

:rahrah: I found your story

[chloecube]

its so sad, when marriage has a problem, the kids suffer, directly.

not that they are at fault but they still get the brunt.
most of them are still young and not able to understand why their parents are constantly fighting and ended in divorce. you really do not know what is going through their tiny heads.
i have encounter many friends who are divorced. 1 ended it amicablly, the rest are pretty bad and some physical violent.
one of them told me, \"i felt like i was sleeping beside my enemy every night\"
i cant help but feel so jaded over marriage now.
human fresh and mind can be so weak and yet burly at the same time.
no matter what we do, think, think think. before u act.
especially for our children.
i have a good hubby and healthy kids, and i really hope this can last. i cant imagine a day w/o him

[BeContented]

sleepy:

BeContented:

Actually I will not fight for custody of my kids if ever we divorced due to 3rd party. But I will demand access.
Simple reason. I have given up a good part of my life to be a SAHM & take care of family & his parents so that DH can concentrate on his work without worries. Since DH loves his kids a lot, so I'm sure he would take good care of them in my absence. As for me, I would need to try to re-establish my new life, get a job etc hence it would be tough if I still have to take care of kids. If he has any doubt about his new lover's ability/willingness to take good care or treat his kids well, he better think thrice about EMA. I'm not going to let him have the easy way out by & enjoy best of both world. If he is worried for kids or new lover may not want to 'inherit' the kids, it might serve as a deterrent to EMA. (won't work for those who does not love their kids tho)

I thought there's alimony and child support?
Or law expect SAHMS to look for work after divorce? Can't continue their usual lifestyle and remain a SAHM?

Maybe it's not about being SAHM anymore.
Rather, it's letting the other party/parties understand that it's not gonna be a bed of roses for them. So think carefully.....
The spouse will know he cannot happily dump kids to the ex-wife & go enjoy his new couple life happily. The 3rd party will know she cannot enjoy life as mistress/tai tai but gonna take care of kids well to keep the man. While the man may not love his wife anymore, it's different for the kids. :evil:
Why u think sooooo many 3rd party have it so easy, continued to be 'lover' & maintain their glam-look? Cos most end up with mistress life, just concentrate on being the 'sweet attractive thing'. Bring them down to our level :evil:
Anyway, that's my thots/reasoning. Will I eventually do as above, hard to say. By then, I might not be able to tolerate leaving MY kids in another person's hand.

[BeContented]

sleepy:

BeContented:

In fact, they met b4 & sometimes DH joined the gatherings.

DH kinda knew we were close & frequently go out together (normally as groups). He kept quiet, said nothing tho at times told me to be careful not to give wrong signals.

Many many years later when DH & I were talking about 'straying', I confessed. He admitted he kinda knew, but he trusted me enough :love:

:rahrah: I found your story

My love story with DH?? No lah, with him is all the sweet young thing kind Kekeke. This is just some experience I have along the way (25 years with DH liao, what'ya expect. Sure got ups & downs).
But seriously, losing faith in man.....too many EMAs around. :mad:

[sleepy]

BeContented:

Why u think sooooo many 3rd party have it so easy, continued to be 'lover' & maintain their glam-look? Cos most end up with mistress life, just concentrate on being the 'sweet attractive thing'. Bring them down to our level :evil:
Anyway, that's my thots/reasoning. Will I eventually do as above, hard to say. By then, I might not be able to tolerate leaving MY kids in another perdon's hand.

Yes, that would be my main consideration too. No one else should raise my children.

Furthermore, in another 10 to 15 years, they would start generating income for me :evil: Then time to discard their old man :evil: :evil:

[Way2GO]

valvestate, ur posts provide gud entertainment, but for u to ask dis of ppl u hv nvr met:

valvestate:

Speaking of guitar playing... PRC lady mentioned that she will be buying a guitar after she saves and he will ask me to teach her. Yay... or nay.

issit real anot?
d answer shd oredi be obvious to u, yes?
Guys straight-talk.
Yay only if u intend to get into her pantxxx! r u?

[BeContented]

sleepy:

BeContented:

Why u think sooooo many 3rd party have it so easy, continued to be 'lover' & maintain their glam-look? Cos most end up with mistress life, just concentrate on being the 'sweet attractive thing'. Bring them down to our level :evil:
Anyway, that's my thots/reasoning. Will I eventually do as above, hard to say. By then, I might not be able to tolerate leaving MY kids in another perdon's hand.

Yes, that would be my main consideration too. No one else should raise my children.

Furthermore, in another 10 to 15 years, they would start generating income for me :evil: Then time to discard their old man :evil: :evil:

But think in another angle, i may become weepy, resentful etc. sometimes we may take it out on kids esp. alone & when loaded down by daily life/chores. If instead, I am the one who bring them out, spend quality time, be someone they call whenever they need people to talk to, & also they will see that I am the victim (alone while father is happily with someone else), isn't that better for me as a whole. :evil: Everything say lah.....real action dunno yet :). Let's hope it will never happen

[Mychildren]

Sorry to say that I still feel Joule & valvestate are the same person.