In-law problems?
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I know getting along with ILs is not easy.
Firstly, you are lucky that your MIL is willing to help you look after your child. Yes, her wanting to travel will upset your schedule somewhat and secondly you are lucky you have a mother who is also willing to help. No one owes anyone anything, I guess, everyone is helping where help is needed. This is your child, their grandchild, they are doing this for a loved one, not some stranger, so no need to say who owe who.
Just hoping you can see the more positive side and not be so unhappy about the situation.
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Hi funz
I am trying my very best to be positive! It’s a long long story … Anyway I try to think of her good points at times too vut sometimes she is just being too much… When I first give birth to my dd she told me not to let my hubby change her soiled diaper she said give birth to bb gal is very dirty and when my gal will whine before she napoed she will always said how u give birth huh give birth to one who always like to whine as she compare btwn my nephew and my dd… My nephew was a easy bb as compared to my dd then she will passes comment like u eat "dead chicken intestine" in hokkien when u are expecting is it? And when my gal was admitted to hospital she will say who ask her to fall sick … At times when dd or ds has difficulty in taking medicine when they were young she will say next time fall sick no need to see doctor eat "shit" instead since they refuse to cooperate during eating medicine time … N a lot more … I myself is trained in early childhood and I work in this industry and I find that whatever she said to my kids are not acceptable and I feel that it will demoralised their self esteem and ego…sigh! I know I have to be positive and thankful for her to take care of my kids but its easier said than done as we are staying together for nearly 12 years… There is always a limit to my patience you know -
I’ve stayed with my mil for more than ten years! It wasn’t easy all the time, but in all relationship you just have to give n take. As she gets older, her health is deteriorating, her mood is like 3 days wind, 4 days rain. After a long day at work, I have to make sure I enquire about her day/health and administer her medication or giving her a massage. However, I must say when I complained about my aches, she will also apply some medicated oil for me. So, thinking back, she’s not too bad.
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My mil went home this am with my dh.
She was shocked to see us quarreled (a few times quite bad) n hen I apologized to her for the shock she had, she kept quiet n just stroked my hands....made me cried n cried....
Guess she also know her son is not an easy peron to live with
But what to do....
We still love each other :love:
Me also at fault...so gotta change... -
LOLMum:
Oh I think u must have been very very angry that leads to the unavoidable quarrel in front of yr mil.My mil went home this am with my dh.
She was shocked to see us quarreled (a few times quite bad) n hen I apologized to her for the shock she had, she kept quiet n just stroked my hands....made me cried n cried....
Guess she also know her son is not an easy peron to live with
But what to do.... We still love each other :love:
Me also at fault...so gotta change...
Hope u feel much better now :hugs: -
Blessedwife:
Oh I think u must have been very very angry that leads to the unavoidable quarrel in front of yr mil.LOLMum:
My mil went home this am with my dh.
She was shocked to see us quarreled (a few times quite bad) n hen I apologized to her for the shock she had, she kept quiet n just stroked my hands....made me cried n cried....
Guess she also know her son is not an easy peron to live with
But what to do.... We still love each other :love:
Me also at fault...so gotta change...
Hope u feel much better now :hugs:
Much better now...thanks.
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Funz:
for this, i must say, i understand Pinky Piglet.
Maybe buying some goodies for your mum as a form of courtesy, yes. But not as gratitude towards your mum for helping look after your kids right?Pinky Piglet:
Hi all
Everytime when my mil want to go for holiday she will always asked my mum to help look after my kids... Everytime she come back with goodies she will know to give some to neighbour , bil , sil but not my mum. It made me pissed it's not that I greedy over her goodies shouldn't she show gratitude towards my mum for helping otherwise how can my hubby and I go to work
No offense hor. Just find it strange that you think your MIL should be grateful for your mum helping to look after your kids.
we as wives, as the mils always say, our child bears their surnames, so its their paternal grandchild. while our own mothers are just maternal grandchild. so mil looking after her own paternal grandchild is more than just helping working mums, they will be angry if we leave our children to our own parents and not them..
so i do understand if mils want to go for holiday, no choice that child got to go to our own parents so that it does not disrupt our work..
Pinky Piglet is not wrong to think that her mil should be grateful, not the gift that counts. who will bother about the whatever goodies, its the thought... if mil can buy for sil, bil and so on, even buy for neighbours... all the more she should buy for our mums... -
Fun fun:
I've stayed with my mil for more than ten years! It wasn't easy all the time, but in all relationship you just have to give n take. As she gets older, her health is deteriorating, her mood is like 3 days wind, 4 days rain. After a long day at work, I have to make sure I enquire about her day/health and administer her medication or giving her a massage. However, I must say when I complained about my aches, she will also apply some medicated oil for me. So, thinking back, she's not too bad.
its always not as bad when u think back.. the complaints are only when u r going thru it... cos we are still gd ppl, we dun bear grudges... if after long time still angry over it, means they are really really bad... hahha... -
LOLMum:
ur mil is great... instead of helping her own son, she comforted u in a very discreet but appropriate way... Good!!My mil went home this am with my dh.
She was shocked to see us quarreled (a few times quite bad) n hen I apologized to her for the shock she had, she kept quiet n just stroked my hands....made me cried n cried....
Guess she also know her son is not an easy peron to live with
But what to do.... We still love each other :love:
Me also at fault...so gotta change... -
verykiasumummy:
wah...i maybe can do that to my parents but i doubt my wife can.
talk to them then.... they actually know but cant help spoiling..SBKS:
hi, ya we did...but not working lor...sian...duno wat to do...
cos in the end when the kids fall sick, we are the ones suffering and taking care of them not them.
so seeking advice from here....it's just the grandparents....could it be their mindset is not my DS/DH so not my pasar?
must show them some true fire one day to make them understand u r not just nagging but really mean it...
once i threw away a big bag of candies n choc in front of them! i think about 2-3kg... they got from some neighbours leftover from cny!! i was so mad and they dare not talk to me for a week..
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