Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

[ruohoo97]

3Boys:

A bit like asking whether food or water is more important. Reading through a different thread, really sent a shudder down my spine. God forbid that I fail so badly in my marriage that we should seek a separation.


DW and I have vowed that no matter how KSParents we be, we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week. Go out for dinner, watch a movie, romance each other and have 'together' time very regularly. In the busyness of work and child-minding, its all too easy to take each other for granted, and then slowly drift apart. If the bond is strong and there is intimacy, many obstacles can be overcome.

My posit is that a strong marriage begets a strong family, and if there were a conflict between spouse-time and kid-time, spouse time usually comes out ahead.

Your thoughts?

Why didn't I see this earlier? In my head, I say spouse first, in my heart, I say children first, at least when they are young.

My DH has asked the same question. I thought he was very demanding till I saw this post. kekekee.

[buds]

So tonight you shall tell him that he's not at all demanding and that you will romance him.

[ruohoo97]

buds:

So tonight you shall tell him that he's not at all demanding and that you will romance him.

But he is overseas. :imanangel:

[3Boys]

mdmlow:

spouse

Like!

[3Boys]

indigoblue:

3Boys:

So, all the DWs out there, don't become your hubby's caregiver......become your hubby's lover. Keep the spark and passion alive, don't let housework or kids become an excuse, ever!

Dear 3boys
...this is easier said thn done.
What if hubby is one who complains when house is messy, when creepy crawlies invade the kitchen at night ,when kids grades slide a little...and yet still expect to be able to come home daily to a perfumed ,purring kitten that clings to him and sayang him? Give me a break!

Indigo blue, you have a PM

[indigoblue]

3Boys:

Indigo blue, you have a PM

...thank you!

[janet88]

nightlone:

westmom:

Scene A:
Feverish DD : Mom..I feel so weak and my fever is like it's not going to come down...
Me : Don't worry dear, I will sleep beside you tonight... You feel better then right?

Scene B:
Feverish DH : I got fever and I feel weak
Me : Just take panadol and go to sleep. By the way, sleep in the guestroom so that we don't get your virus...

Answer is quite clear for my case..hor ? ha ha....

Totally! Although we don't have guest room, I ask him to sleep in the hall

:rotflmao: quite true...I am guilty.

It's impossible for wifey to be 'dressed' with just a tie waiting for hubby to return home like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I do not wish to be hubby's mother either...but he is long-winded.

[SBKS]

1 way to see it is that u are related by blood to your kids. not to your partner.


so more effort is require to be with ur partner. so spouse comes first for me.

[janet88]

SBKS:

1 way to see it is that u are related by blood to your kids. not to your partner.


so more effort is require to be with ur partner. so spouse comes first for me.

True true true.
It does take effort to keep sparks going. We love our kids but we should love spouse more. Sometimes I wonder how do couples keep romance going with kids. Any suggestions?

[3Boys]

janet_lee88:

SBKS:

1 way to see it is that u are related by blood to your kids. not to your partner.


so more effort is require to be with ur partner. so spouse comes first for me.

True true true.
It does take effort to keep sparks going. We love our kids but we should love spouse more. Sometimes I wonder how do couples keep romance going with kids. Any suggestions?

Make strict plans to spend alone time together. Go out for a movie, plan a dinner date. Take care of your appearance, dress nicely, put on some makeup. Be nice to each other, be considerate, don't let disagreements fester. Be flirty, give him THAT look, show a bit of skin.

Can lah, you already did it before marriage, just get back to it lor.