Recommendation of changes to reduce Stress for PSLE

[cherryc]

janet_lee88:

Hi Chen,

I am grateful for that valuable post. It's really heart-warming and gave me reason to believe there are people here in KSP who understood me.

For my son, I am looking at a tried-and-tested route ie the O levels.
As for tuition, I feel that that should be a thing of the past.
As such, I am looking at secondary schools (son still wants to try for all boys) which believe in holistic education.

Once again, :thankyou:

It is tough to be a parent in Singapore, and tougher to be one with a PSLE kid. And probably TOUGHEST to be a worrying mom with a PSLE kid who knows something has gone wrong in the system…... We should all be given a medal for that ! It is heartening to see rapport and support in a \"faceless\" forum. Hopefully, we can make our voice heard and improvements can be made to our education system for our kids from time to time. I hope to see more posts from all concerned parents esply those SAHMs who can write so well….ksi and many others , hope to hear from you someday…

[Brenda10]

BeContented:

Typical non-Kc/Ks are probably also more Bo-chup?? So naturally engage less

I think all of us have some degree of kc & ks.......but probably some feel more intensely & will harp more :rant: Again, also a natural behaviour

Hi, just to share our experience back in year 2009. We usually just leave DD by herself to do and revise her work since P1. However, when DD scored 66 marks for CA1 Math and 67 for CL for SA1 in P4, we get shock and also worry that the marks would further dip when she move up to upper primary. As such, we could not afford to bo-chup and leave her to swim by herself. At least with the effort and help put in, her result improved from 66 to 95 (SA2 - for Math in same year) and the CL move up close to 85 in P6.


I just can't imagine what will be the situation today if we never help her.

[janet88]

Brenda10:

BeContented:

Typical non-Kc/Ks are probably also more Bo-chup?? So naturally engage less

I think all of us have some degree of kc & ks.......but probably some feel more intensely & will harp more :rant: Again, also a natural behaviour

As such, we could not afford to bo-chup and leave her to swim by herself. At least with the effort and help put in, her result improved from 66 to 95 (SA2 - for Math in same year) and the CL move up close to 85 in P6.

I just can't imagine what will be the situation today if we never help her.

Put it this way, I am kiasu, kiasi and kancheong. However I feel that I am not the extreme case of the '3 Ks'. A MOTHER (that means a woman :rotflmao: ) going through PSLE with her child for first time. With this experience, I will know what to do when my daughter sit for hers.

[tired mom]

I share Brand's sentiments. For my DD1, I did not start out being KS in lower primary. She did quite well by herself. But in upper primary, whenever she meets with a less-than-ideal subject teacher, her grades will suffer tremendously. It disturbs me cause I know she can do much better.it is then that I had no choice but to be more KS, either roll up my sleeves to teach her or seek help elsewhere. These give me tremendous stress as a parent, but she did respond well to my extra help.


So sometimes being KS really isn't a choice, unless one is prepared to risk not fulfilling the kid's real potential.

Brenda10:

BeContented:

Typical non-Kc/Ks are probably also more Bo-chup?? So naturally engage less
I think all of us have some degree of kc & ks.......but probably some feel more intensely & will harp more :rant: Again, also a natural behaviour

Hi, just to share our experience back in year 2009. We usually just leave DD by herself to do and revise her work since P1. However, when DD scored 66 marks for CA1 Math and 67 for CL for SA1 in P4, we get shock and also worry that the marks would further dip when she move up to upper primary. As such, we could not afford to bo-chup and leave her to swim by herself. At least with the effort and help put in, her result improved from 66 to 95 (SA2 - for Math in same year) and the CL move up close to 85 in P6.


I just can't imagine what will be the situation today if we never help her.

[janet88]

Parents are forced to be kiasu, when their kids are in critical year(s) of primary school and meet with less than desirable teachers. As parents, we can’t possibly sit back knowing our kids need help. When our kids have achieved their potential, we can then sit back knowing we have done what we can. This is perhaps one reason why couples are scared of having kids now…when they see their nieces or nephews going thru such torment and imagine themselves doing such things in 11 or 12 years’ time.

[Chenonceau]

janet_lee88:

Parents are forced to be kiasu, when their kids are in critical year(s) of primary school and meet with less than desirable teachers. As parents, we can't possibly sit back knowing our kids need help. When our kids have achieved their potential, we can then sit back knowing we have done what we can. This is perhaps one reason why couples are scared of having kids now...when they see their nieces or nephews going thru such torment and imagine themselves doing such things in 11 or 12 years' time.

Happened to me... number 3 was not made because I told my husband that there is NO way I was gonna face another PSLE. Either we leave the country for the sake of number 3... or we stop at 2. Since leaving was less of an option, we stopped at 2.

[janet88]

Chenonceau:

janet_lee88:

This is perhaps one reason why couples are scared of having kids now...when they see their nieces or nephews going thru such torment and imagine themselves doing such things in 11 or 12 years' time.

Happened to me... number 3 was not made because I told my husband that there is NO way I was gonna face another PSLE. Either we leave the country for the sake of number 3... or we stop at 2. Since leaving was less of an option, we stopped at 2.

My #2 came almost 5 years later. But it was ok bcos my maternal instinct kinda kicked in again...was also reluctant to give up my maternity stuff. So the surprise turned out ok. Definitely never thought of PSLE then or else 1 kid is sufficient.

[DKWhy]

Sec schools, esp Sec 1, are definitely tougher than primary school coz of additional and some more ‘alien’ subjects (history, geography, etc). It is common to see average marks hover around 60s and 70s and for those who just manage to ‘squeeze’ themselves into super schools via extensive and if-never-give-will-die coaching, around 50s if these kids’ coaching is removed.


It is also therefore NOT THE TRUTH to say that sec school will be less ‘stressful’ than PSLE. They are just different.

But kids who have mastered enough self learning skills in their early years will not suffer so much in sec schools coz chances are they will have the ‘inbuilt mechanism’ akin to ‘survival instinct’ to auto learn to adjust, adapt and survive within manageable stress. This ability comes from those chances that were given to them by not-so-KC and not-so-KS parents when they were allowed to learn to swim on own. This natural innate ability either can be built slowly or can also be taken away slowly by their very own parents during their early years.

For those kids who have been hand-held for so long, there is a high chance that they need to be handheld further into sec schools and maybe into JC and perhaps into their uni years as this may seem to be the only way that they KNOW they can float. It is a ‘pattern’, a learnt sense of helplessness that they are so used to that if removing the tuition, they may TANK!

So parents you do have a choice to be KC and KS ttm / face green green or choose to be concerned-enough parents who give only adequate support (never over support) for your children to discover their own path / way. Emphasising here is adequate support when the family and kids still can have a good balanced life that can be fun and fulfilling and not over-support till straining almost everyone.

Real butterflies emerge themselves with their own efforts from their cocoons. Those who are forced to be butterflies will end up in no where.

Sow the seeds and reap your own returns.

I hope more not-so-KC and not-so-KS parents can lend your voices to balance this forum, else it fits the saying of “Three People then Tiger Becomes Real” (I can’t type Chinese). I can read some KC parents fanning some of the KS parents and then all sing together in ‘harmony’. Do new parents a favour to support the motion of primary school education indeed doesn’t need to be so stressful for the family and the children and that it is really manageable.

Sometimes ignorance is a bliss. Cannot imagine highly educated people ‘scared’ of primary school education to the extent of not willing to have kid / more kids when it is just so a tiny part of a child long journey in this wonderful life. New inexperienced parents must be ‘frightened’ by such reading!

[Chenonceau]

janet_lee88:

Chenonceau:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]This is perhaps one reason why couples are scared of having kids now...when they see their nieces or nephews going thru such torment and imagine themselves doing such things in 11 or 12 years' time.

Happened to me... number 3 was not made because I told my husband that there is NO way I was gonna face another PSLE. Either we leave the country for the sake of number 3... or we stop at 2. Since leaving was less of an option, we stopped at 2.

My #2 came almost 5 years later. But it was ok bcos my maternal instinct kinda kicked in again...was also reluctant to give up my maternity stuff. So the surprise turned out ok. Definitely never thought of PSLE then or else 1 kid is sufficient.[/quote]Yeah... I can so relate to this. By the time number 3 was being discussed, DS was in P4 and I was kinda half awake to the PSLE requirements and puzzling about the inadequate textbooks and teaching. The discussion went into P5 where I got a shock that DS' scoring in the 90s for Math in end-P4 can actually fail. The discussion ended there... no more talk of number 3. No way I was gonna face another PSLE despite having a PhD.

This said, I am confident the situation will improve once MOE's recent changes kick in and by the time new Mothers have kids ready for PSLE in 12 years, MOE could well be humming along real good.

[janet88]

There will be changes to Science, Geography, Math & maybe history for next year 's Sec 1...our kids are just done with PSLE :faint:

I am not highly educated. So there is a limit I can coach my kids. For the highly-educated parents, they are worrying too early when they have not even started a family.

Education will change, hopefully for the better. Quality of teachers should also be upgraded. Just thinking, wouldn't it be a good idea for MOE to 'interview' the students?