Recommendation of changes to reduce Stress for PSLE

[janet88]

I admit I wasn't very ON when I took my PSLE :oops:

My mum didn't really push but then stakes weren't so high. Now, it's 'payback' time...short of walking into exam hall to sit for them.

As for sec school, lagi worse...returned to the school after I was done with O levels.

[mummy so kiasu]

DKWhy:

Sec schools, esp Sec 1, are definitely tougher than primary school coz of additional and some more ‘alien’ subjects (history, geography, etc). It is common to see average marks hover around 60s and 70s and for those who just manage to ‘squeeze’ themselves into super schools via extensive and if-never-give-will-die coaching, around 50s if these kids’ coaching is removed.


It is also therefore NOT THE TRUTH to say that sec school will be less ‘stressful’ than PSLE. They are just different.

But kids who have mastered enough self learning skills in their early years will not suffer so much in sec schools coz chances are they will have the ‘inbuilt mechanism’ akin to ‘survival instinct’ to auto learn to adjust, adapt and survive within manageable stress. This ability comes from those chances that were given to them by not-so-KC and not-so-KS parents when they were allowed to learn to swim on own. This natural innate ability either can be built slowly or can also be taken away slowly by their very own parents during their early years.

For those kids who have been hand-held for so long, there is a high chance that they need to be handheld further into sec schools and maybe into JC and perhaps into their uni years as this may seem to be the only way that they KNOW they can float. It is a ‘pattern’, a learnt sense of helplessness that they are so used to that if removing the tuition, they may TANK!

So parents you do have a choice to be KC and KS ttm / face green green or choose to be concerned-enough parents who give only adequate support (never over support) for your children to discover their own path / way. Emphasising here is adequate support when the family and kids still can have a good balanced life that can be fun and fulfilling and not over-support till straining almost everyone.

Real butterflies emerge themselves with their own efforts from their cocoons. Those who are forced to be butterflies will end up in no where.

Sow the seeds and reap your own returns.

I hope more not-so-KC and not-so-KS parents can lend your voices to balance this forum, else it fits the saying of “Three People then Tiger Becomes Real” (I can’t type Chinese). I can read some KC parents fanning some of the KS parents and then all sing together in ‘harmony’. Do new parents a favour to support the motion of primary school education indeed doesn’t need to be so stressful for the family and the children and that it is really manageable.

Sometimes ignorance is a bliss. Cannot imagine highly educated people ‘scared’ of primary school education to the extent of not willing to have kid / more kids when it is just so a tiny part of a child long journey in this wonderful life. New inexperienced parents must be ‘frightened’ by such reading!

Good to give support them in their early years of education. We have to gradually let go as we can't support them forever. It is time to train them to be independent learners as there will be more projects in Sec schools. They have to learn where & how to get the resources they need. Not forgetting that some of us still have a younger one to support.

[mummy so kiasu]

Deleted

[janet88]

Hi mummy so kiasu,

After 6 years of hand-holding, I agree with you it’s time for me to learn to let go…can’t be holding his hand till Sec 4. Next stage is how to handle a teenager…another stage in life.

[KSP]

mamago:

janet_lee88:

5 days a week - 4 subjects in primary school.

5 days a week - 8/9 subjects in sec school + longer hours. Not quite possible to be easier. Still I have to learn to let go one day.

I give myself time to relax and recuperate in the meantime.

船到桥头自然直。。。。

(Don't worry too much, whatever will be, will be...)

once i heard one parent jokingly said in education there is no such thing as 船到桥头自然直 only 船到桥头自然沉 :rotflmao:

anyway by the time they reach S1 they are more matured and can learn thing in more effective way....

[janet88]

KSP:

mamago:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]5 days a week - 4 subjects in primary school.

5 days a week - 8/9 subjects in sec school + longer hours. Not quite possible to be easier. Still I have to learn to let go one day.

I give myself time to relax and recuperate in the meantime.

船到桥头自然直。。。。

(Don't worry too much, whatever will be, will be...)

once i heard one parent jokingly said in education there is no such thing as 船到桥头自然直 only 船到桥头自然沉 :rotflmao:

anyway by the time they reach S1 they are more matured and can learn thing in more effective way....[/quote] :xedfingers: hope so.
But I really held his hands tight this year from Jan and even tighter from August. My hubby advised me to let him take over :nailbite:

[KSP]

pirate:

KSP:

by then RGS will have to take in all kinds of PSLE marks not only top 3%.... u still want to spend 5M for a house there??

Who cares about the PSLE marks? By then the hobnobbing is worth more than a degree.

thought the better schools to build connections are Nanyang, ACS, SCGC and MGS???

[janet88]

DKWhy:

It is also therefore NOT THE TRUTH to say that sec school will be less ‘stressful’ than PSLE. They are just different.


But kids who have mastered enough self learning skills in their early years will not suffer so much in sec schools coz chances are they will have the ‘inbuilt mechanism’ akin to ‘survival instinct’ to auto learn to adjust, adapt and survive within manageable stress. This ability comes from those chances that were given to them by not-so-KC and not-so-KS parents when they were allowed to learn to swim on own. This natural innate ability either can be built slowly or can also be taken away slowly by their very own parents during their early years.

For those kids who have been hand-held for so long, there is a high chance that they need to be handheld further into sec schools and maybe into JC and perhaps into their uni years as this may seem to be the only way that they KNOW they can float. It is a ‘pattern’, a learnt sense of helplessness that they are so used to that if removing the tuition, they may TANK!

So parents you do have a choice to be KC and KS ttm / face green green or choose to be concerned-enough parents who give only adequate support (never over support) for your children to discover their own path / way. Emphasising here is adequate support when the family and kids still can have a good balanced life that can be fun and fulfilling and not over-support till straining almost everyone.

I hope more not-so-KC and not-so-KS parents can lend your voices to balance this forum, else it fits the saying of “Three People then Tiger Becomes Real” (I can’t type Chinese). I can read some KC parents fanning some of the KS parents and then all sing together in ‘harmony’. Do new parents a favour to support the motion of primary school education indeed doesn’t need to be so stressful for the family and the children and that it is really manageable.

Sometimes ignorance is a bliss. Cannot imagine highly educated people ‘scared’ of primary school education to the extent of not willing to have kid / more kids when it is just so a tiny part of a child long journey in this wonderful life. New inexperienced parents must be ‘frightened’ by such reading!

Parents with children in primary school share their experiences here...what they have gone through/going through...and with kids in different schools, there is more to share. I believe it's not just a handful of primary schools which are forced to push the students...with some schools being more academic-driven and a reputation to uphold, the pressure in those schools are even higher. New parents may perhaps be more enlightened to read the posts and ask around before they register their kids in them...don't blindly follow the crowd when registering for P1.

[Nebbermind]

Lilac66:

During my sec days, I remember I had only 7 subjects leh

Really. I remember sec1 I had English, Lit (result combined with Eng but still a subject), Chinese, Math, Sce, Geog, Hist, Art & Tech.

[mommylow]

janet_lee88:

I admit I wasn't very ON when I took my PSLE :oops:

My mum didn't really push but then stakes weren't so high. Now, it's 'payback' time...short of walking into exam hall to sit for them.

As for sec school, lagi worse...returned to the school after I was done with O levels.

Janet, don't blame yourself that you did not study well enough to acquire better knowledge to coach your children more efficiently in their studies now.
That is belittling yourself. I know of children whose parents sre PHD holders yet their kids' academic performance is non-impressive. Every child has their own capacity to learn, do not force or compare as long as he does his best.

Have you thought of 'upgrading' yourself and go back to the primary and secondary syllables, read up and revise so you can teach your children. By doing that, you are actually learning with your children and they feel your enthusiasm and emotional support. Naturally they will be spurred to want to do better. For a start, you can write well, think
sharp and are reflective, impart this skill to your DCs. Forget about hiring tutors and more tutors to help solve their learning problems. You only do that as a last resort. The key to good learning is for students to listen very attentively in class and approach the teachers often to clear up doubts. 靠人不如靠自己. I am a perfect example. I personally coach all my kids all four su jects and I know the primary syllables by the back of my hand. I self studied them. My Chinese sucks but I took I to my own hands to teach my DCs Chinese and HCL. I bought 字辨books secondary books on chinese compo books up to 'O' levels and read thru all of them and coavh my children to write well. No tutors, because we believe in helping ourselves. My children especially my son improve by leaps and bounds and he even got the highest score for Chinese in his level for SA 1 and 2nd place for his prelims. The top in Chinese boy from China is shocked and is full of admiration for my boy's effort. 一分耕耘，一分收获. My two DDs are still grappling with their Chinese and other subjects as they are slower learners. I do not compare. To each his own.

There are many routes to success in life. What's important is for our DCs to learn to take charge of their own studies and responsibilities and learn to pick themselves up after falling down. Only then, they will learn resilience and motivate themselves to achieve. We parents should not do the worrying for them and worse pave the way for them. That will only teach them reliance on others and bad problem solvers. Get them involved to learn to help others and not keep getting help from others.

So fret not, let the DCs go out and swim with crocodiles. Who knows, they may be tougher than we think.