Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?
-
tutormum:
NEVER hand out punishment for poor results or performance beyond your expectations. I have a parent who did that. When she told me her intentions to cane her DD1 I explained to her that she was giving her DD the message that she loved her results more than her. Any efforts made before exams should be encouraged while punishment should be meted out for lack of efforts. Fortunately this parent took my advice cos her children were beginning to hate school due to her 'punishment'. Now, she is much relaxed and her DS has been winning medals for Maths, a subject that he feared most.PhoBIA:
[quote=\"janice75\"]any parent canes their daughter due to poor academic results?
i have a friend who does that. 1 forceful stroke on the butt for each subject that her daughter failed to get an A.
This is really BAD! I don't agree with this. What we need to teach our children is the effort they put in. Although marks is very important, we should avoid telling our children that. If we overdo it, they may not be able to face the situation if they don't score within their expectation.
It's also not fair to expect straight As all the time. How many of us can achieve that ourselves? Their results should be viewed against various lights like the performance of the whole cohort etc. The purpose of exams is to gauge the students' understanding of what is taught. Using her results to find out her understanding and weaknesses in the subject is better than caning.[/quote]well said, punishment must be meted out with the right reason. not when you are moody, angry, upset.
no matter what punishment, cane, slapped, hit, remove priviledges, no rewards, no shopping or whatever, it must be administered with the right reason. -
studyhard:
I think cane can be used when there is extreme bad behaviour, like extreme rudeness, stealing, serious lying etc. Of course then again maybe should have started caning before it's come to that.
am practising that right now. in a very precarious situation. how much is considered too much? everyone is different. -
PhoBIA:
It's really scary to know this! :spank:janice75:
any parent canes their daughter due to poor academic results?
i have a friend who does that. 1 forceful stroke on the butt for each subject that her daughter failed to get an A.
This is really BAD! I don't agree with this. What we need to teach our children is the effort they put in. Although marks is very important, we should avoid telling our children that. If we overdo it, they may not be able to face the situation if they don't score within their expectation.
Get a B is absolutely great as well! I mean, no matter what grade she gets, caning or other kind of physical punishment should never be used. So terrible parent! I M so sorry for the kid. I hope she still love to study. :stompfeet: -
janice75:
any parent canes their daughter due to poor academic results?
i have a friend who does that. 1 forceful stroke on the butt for each subject that her daughter failed to get an A.
This is indeed disturbing. I wonder what's running in her DD's mind when she's being beaten for this. The emotional hurt the parent's inflicting on her poor child... :sad:
Caning is not only ineffective here but it may invite retaliation when the child is bigger.Does she think she can just cane her way to good results? This parent should be counselled or I fear there'll be detrimental effects on the child if this is carried on long term. It may totally put her off learning.
I've never caned my DS for results as long as he puts in reasonable effort prior to exams. So when results are announced, he tells me he's not stressed as he knows I'll not overly react if his performance is not up to par. Think I receive an \"A\" in this aspect of parenting.
My heart really goes out to kids who think the way to \"buy\" acceptance and approval from parents are through their grades. Getting unconditional love is their right. -
I don’t believe in corporal punishment.
-
I believe in teaching children put in their best effort. Teaching them to learn from their mistakes. Corporal punishment may make them hate studying. Some extreme cases may give up studying.
-
different child responses differently… i may not be able to comment if caning is good or not, but it certainly do wonders to many others who used it…
whether or not to have emotional hurt due to caning, again, it depends. caning may only suit those who views caning as a REAL warning to get them working. others who do not view it same way, may not have the same effect no matter how hard u cane… -
My DH and I had actually used the cane on my DS when he was younger and misbehaving. It helped in that the pain reminded him about repeating bad behaviour like rudeness etc.
But I would not advocate caning to get good grades, esp if the child has already done her best… -
I bought 3 canes from a HDB shop. They are very thin, short and with a plastic hook on the end. I use it to scare my kid by hitting the sofa or bed and they keep on snapping.
Where can I buy the thicker and longer canes like they have in schools? -
Our Dd over the years have tested our patience, thankfully we managed to spare her the rod.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login