Husband drinks & stays out late - Does yours?
-
asshole
-
These husbands that I read about here are not fit to be husbands and fathers. They love themselves more than their own wives and kids. They are not accountable to their own actions and are not even ashamed of their messed up lives. They not only hurt themselves, but also the people who love them. God help them please before they self destruct!
-
New to this forum. I am surprised to see treads like this. Before I register, I had the wrong impression that these forums is all about kiasu parents worrying about their kids studies. I am so wrong. Very interesting forum indeed.
-
olenpeal:
New to this forum. I am surprised to see treads like this. Before I register, I had the wrong impression that these forums is all about kiasu parents worrying about their kids studies. I am so wrong. Very interesting forum indeed.
Hi olenpeal,
Yes, kiasuparents forum is very interesting and healthy....
Because most of us are responsible parents who like to come in here to share our thoughts....sometimes to express our unhappiness .....
Kiasuparents forum is unlike other forums where issues are sometimes being overrated.... -
I hope I’m not joining this conversation
too late. I am so sorry to hear what
Your husband is putting you through.
I am in similar situation, as I write
this my husband is out. I will have to
Wait up til 3.00 maybe 4.00 am for
him to come home drunk. He
smokes and has on occasions fell
asleep while smoking. But luckily
and sadly I dont trust him. We have
two young girls. Im fighting falling
asleep, I have to stay awake as usual
and I’ll be up at 7.00 am with the kids.
I totally understand what you said. Every
word of it, and I’m sorry I don’t have
an answer. I’m looking for answer
myself, although I know really that the
only to stop going through this is to end
Marriage. I’m just very sad for my
children. My hb doesn’t play with our
children either but even so they would
be sad if we split up. I hope things have
changed for you and your family since you
Posted. -
Newgirl:
Aiyo, indeed, we are facing issues of a diff nature.I hope I'm not joining this conversation
too late. I am so sorry to hear what
Your husband is putting you through.
I am in similar situation, as I write
this my husband is out. I will have to
Wait up til 3.00 maybe 4.00 am for
him to come home drunk. He
smokes and has on occasions fell
asleep while smoking. But luckily
and sadly I dont trust him. We have
two young girls. Im fighting falling
asleep, I have to stay awake as usual
and I'll be up at 7.00 am with the kids.
I totally understand what you said. Every
word of it, and I'm sorry I don't have
an answer. I'm looking for answer
myself, although I know really that the
only to stop going through this is to end
Marriage. I'm just very sad for my
children. My hb doesn't play with our
children either but even so they would
be sad if we split up. I hope things have
changed for you and your family since you
Posted.
I am a husband and father of 1 kid myself and I cannot imagine spending time away fm family. Maybe its b'cos I am SAHP (not very proud of that tho).
In fact, still trying very hard to make a regular income so that I can hold my head abit higher.
Even if couples do decide to split, try yr best to assure kids its not their fault. No spouse shud be made to stick to the other half if they are useless and irresponsible. -
Even since, my hubby joined this Company (a year plus ago), he started drinking and coming home late almost everyday. Initially, came home around 1plus, subsequently getting later and later. Even 4 plus still haven’t come back.
Same here, I kept calling him until he picks up the phone. He still got the cheek to say "what is your problem" to me. I shouted back, that the problem lies on you and not me. If still wants to carry on with this life - got husband like no husband, rarely see each other and still have 3 kids to take care (2 elders kids stay with us, the youngest one stay with in-law), we might as well go separately, since his colleagues and boss are more impt to him than his family.
Money gone to the drain, life all upside down. Got father/husband like no father/husband.
At last, we came to an agreement that he only join his colleagues once a week.
Few months back, he told me a bad that his boss is making a loss and for the time being he will only get his basic pay (his income mostly come from commission) which is around $3k plus after CPF. He only gave me once for household expenses after telling me about his workplace situation and kept telling me that we got to tighten our belts and checked with me how long can we survive with our saving.
I told him only can last us for 3 to 4 months after calculation. Thought that he really will tighten his belt as well until yesterday he asked me to transfer money to his account.
To my shock, his basic pay about $3k plus for his own expenses and still not enough. I questioned him, what mostly he had spend on. How come not enough for himself. (He still go drinking once a week with his colleagues with this situation.) Tell me how to tighten the belt. He mentioned sometimes he pay, sometimes his boss pay for the bill and same goes for dinner when they have dinner with colleagues, he and his boss will take turn to pay.
I really flared at my hubby, he jolly well know the current situation and yet still spend money like nobody business. But he blamed it on spending most of the money of having dinner with in laws. All waiting for him to pay when comes to bill.
We ended up quarreling. I really afraid that we might end up like 3 years back situation, financial crisis, we really drain out our saving as he was jobless for almost a year and at that point of time 3rd child was born.
Just starting to have some saving and this thing happen. I really don’t know how to talk sense to him. Don’t have such a head don’t wear such a big hat. -
Sunflower03:
it seems like u r likely to have a financial crisis soon if nothing changes on ur end..Even since, my hubby joined this Company (a year plus ago), he started drinking and coming home late almost everyday. Initially, came home around 1plus, subsequently getting later and later. Even 4 plus still haven't come back.
Same here, I kept calling him until he picks up the phone. He still got the cheek to say \"what is your problem\" to me. I shouted back, that the problem lies on you and not me. If still wants to carry on with this life - got husband like no husband, rarely see each other and still have 3 kids to take care (2 elders kids stay with us, the youngest one stay with in-law), we might as well go separately, since his colleagues and boss are more impt to him than his family.
Money gone to the drain, life all upside down. Got father/husband like no father/husband.
At last, we came to an agreement that he only join his colleagues once a week.
Few months back, he told me a bad that his boss is making a loss and for the time being he will only get his basic pay (his income mostly come from commission) which is around $3k plus after CPF. He only gave me once for household expenses after telling me about his workplace situation and kept telling me that we got to tighten our belts and checked with me how long can we survive with our saving.
I told him only can last us for 3 to 4 months after calculation. Thought that he really will tighten his belt as well until yesterday he asked me to transfer money to his account.
To my shock, his basic pay about $3k plus for his own expenses and still not enough. I questioned him, what mostly he had spend on. How come not enough for himself. (He still go drinking once a week with his colleagues with this situation.) Tell me how to tighten the belt. He mentioned sometimes he pay, sometimes his boss pay for the bill and same goes for dinner when they have dinner with colleagues, he and his boss will take turn to pay.
I really flared at my hubby, he jolly well know the current situation and yet still spend money like nobody business. But he blamed it on spending most of the money of having dinner with in laws. All waiting for him to pay when comes to bill.
We ended up quarreling. I really afraid that we might end up like 3 years back situation, financial crisis, we really drain out our saving as he was jobless for almost a year and at that point of time 3rd child was born.
Just starting to have some saving and this thing happen. I really don't know how to talk sense to him. Don't have such a head don't wear such a big hat.
my suggestion is to first talk it out with ur hubby... try to see if he is under any pressure that u do not know of.. (i know many will say, ai ya, who no pressure right? but pls be understanding towards ur dh if u really want to solve the problem and not to pick up a quarrel)
about treating, if he can totally cut on that, it will be perfect, but if not, try to reduce to once in 2 weeks instead of every other day..
see if it can do some help for the time being.. -
Well just an update, it was 3.30 when he fell in home.
Then looking for a cup of tea, when I ignored
I was told to go **** myself. I’m exhausted,
We have barely spoken a word to each other since.
I had to wait up til 4.30 for him to fall
asleep. Hide his cigarettes, and I was up again
at 7.00 in the morning, while he slept on until
6.00pm. Its nice to hear that there are
Good husbands and fathers out there. -
verykiasumummy:
it seems like u r likely to have a financial crisis soon if nothing changes on ur end..Sunflower03:
Even since, my hubby joined this Company (a year plus ago), he started drinking and coming home late almost everyday. Initially, came home around 1plus, subsequently getting later and later. Even 4 plus still haven't come back.
Same here, I kept calling him until he picks up the phone. He still got the cheek to say \"what is your problem\" to me. I shouted back, that the problem lies on you and not me. If still wants to carry on with this life - got husband like no husband, rarely see each other and still have 3 kids to take care (2 elders kids stay with us, the youngest one stay with in-law), we might as well go separately, since his colleagues and boss are more impt to him than his family.
Money gone to the drain, life all upside down. Got father/husband like no father/husband.
At last, we came to an agreement that he only join his colleagues once a week.
Few months back, he told me a bad that his boss is making a loss and for the time being he will only get his basic pay (his income mostly come from commission) which is around $3k plus after CPF. He only gave me once for household expenses after telling me about his workplace situation and kept telling me that we got to tighten our belts and checked with me how long can we survive with our saving.
I told him only can last us for 3 to 4 months after calculation. Thought that he really will tighten his belt as well until yesterday he asked me to transfer money to his account.
To my shock, his basic pay about $3k plus for his own expenses and still not enough. I questioned him, what mostly he had spend on. How come not enough for himself. (He still go drinking once a week with his colleagues with this situation.) Tell me how to tighten the belt. He mentioned sometimes he pay, sometimes his boss pay for the bill and same goes for dinner when they have dinner with colleagues, he and his boss will take turn to pay.
I really flared at my hubby, he jolly well know the current situation and yet still spend money like nobody business. But he blamed it on spending most of the money of having dinner with in laws. All waiting for him to pay when comes to bill.
We ended up quarreling. I really afraid that we might end up like 3 years back situation, financial crisis, we really drain out our saving as he was jobless for almost a year and at that point of time 3rd child was born.
Just starting to have some saving and this thing happen. I really don't know how to talk sense to him. Don't have such a head don't wear such a big hat.
my suggestion is to first talk it out with ur hubby... try to see if he is under any pressure that u do not know of.. (i know many will say, ai ya, who no pressure right? but pls be understanding towards ur dh if u really want to solve the problem and not to pick up a quarrel)
about treating, if he can totally cut on that, it will be perfect, but if not, try to reduce to once in 2 weeks instead of every other day..
see if it can do some help for the time being..
I feel very tired and I don't have patience to talk to him. He will not put the blame on himself but others. These few days having cold-war with him. I don't want to stress over money again like few years back. I really scared of that. Plus CNY is around the corner... don't even dare to think of X'mas, will skip that if I can.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login