Club SAHM
-
Blobbi:
hi blobbi,
Hi flim, tks for this heartfelt post. It's so true - children's interests can be so fleeting, especially if the parent takes it upon themselves to \"set the direction\".
I wish I knew of a way around this, but this is the ultimate parenting dilemma. Now that I'm a parent, I want the best for my child, and if I see that he excels in an area, I would like to help and encourage him. Trouble is, how much parental interference is too much? Maybe the best thing to do is to keep the communication channels open so that if I make an error like that, my child can tell me and we can reverse the actions.
yea you're absolutely right. an open communication will definitely help. my parents and i weren't very open with each other. as a parent now, i try to encourage my daughter to be open to me by being a good listener and by sharing my own feelings to her.
the thing about it is, at least from personal experience with my daughter, sometimes the children can be pretty inconsistent. i asked my daughter the other day if she wanted to learn drawing. she said she didn't want to. after much persuasion, she agreed to give it a go for one lesson. now, she says she wants to go there everyday! haha...
being a parent is really tricky... -
I feel that when the child encounters difficulties, the first reaction is to give up & thus appear to lose interest. That's human nature. When my dd2 started learning piano, she encountered difficulties & we can sense her reluctance to practice. At that junction, we can interpret as no interest & stop her lessons. That thought did cross my mind. In any case, I asked dh to sit with her for 5 minutes everyday. She managed to overcome that difficult stage with our encouragement & nowsaday will automatically practice for 30 minutes to an hour merrily without any reminder. When we were on vacation, she missed her piano :lol:
For my dd1, she only wants to do what she does best & something she knows she can excel in. To ask her to step out of her comfort zone requires lots of effort. For instance, I know she's weak in communication skills but she dislikes speech & drama or show & tell because these are the activities that exposed her weakness so she prefers to shy away from it. In such instance, do we interfere or let her be? My usual approach is let her be, let her decides. I mean what's the point of 'forcing' the child? I've spoken to an educator recently. Suprisingly that educator told us we should push her to explore areas that she's not so good in -
sleepy:
to let the kid be or to try to hone the wear areas.
For my dd1, she only wants to do what she does best & something she knows she can excel in. To ask her to step out of her comfort zone requires lots of effort. For instance, I know she's weak in communication skills but she dislikes speech & drama or show & tell because these are the activities that exposed her weakness so she prefers to shy away from it. In such instance, do we interfere or let her be? My usual approach is let her be, let her decides. I mean what's the point of 'forcing' the child? I've spoken to an educator recently. Suprisingly that educator told us we should push her to explore areas that she's not so good in
is this similar to my earlier question in another thread as whether to hone my boy's mental sums abilities or to focus on doing speedier workings (as he is a visual person).
sometimes i also don't know....
my ds1 is like your dd1, he only wants to do things that he know he can do well in. many a times when his swimming lessons goes a notch higher in level, he'll be moody and lose interest, but luckily his couch knew his pattern (that he 'eat soft no eat hard'), so we go through this cycle every term. -
jedamum:
my ds1 is like your dd1, he only wants to do things that he know he can do well in. many a times when his swimming lessons goes a notch higher in level, he'll be moody and lose interest, but luckily his couch knew his pattern (that he 'eat soft no eat hard'), so we go through this cycle every term.
Is this a common trait among most first borns? perfectionism :?
My dd also takes the soft approach. If I argue with her sure lose. She's more fierce than me :roll:
By the way, your boy pursuing which level for swimming? -
sleepy:
This is like my son too, except I'm not sure if it's perfectionism in his case. He's got a very well defined comfort zone and he doesn't like to step out of it. Fair enough, I suppose - all of us have it too. So like you, I don't push - actually, I don't dare, also because of that 吃软不吃硬 trait you and Jedamum are talking about. For years, I've been itching to send him to enrichment class, but every time I try to sell him the idea, he gives me that \"there she goes again\" look and changes the subject. So now, my ploy is to wait till he goes to school. If he develops trouble, I'll have an easier time to persuade him to attend. Otherwise, I'll just have to leave well enough alone. Maybe in the end, it's not such a bad thing.
For my dd1, she only wants to do what she does best & something she knows she can excel in. To ask her to step out of her comfort zone requires lots of effort. For instance, I know she's weak in communication skills but she dislikes speech & drama or show & tell because these are the activities that exposed her weakness so she prefers to shy away from it. In such instance, do we interfere or let her be? My usual approach is let her be, let her decides. I mean what's the point of 'forcing' the child? I've spoken to an educator recently. Suprisingly that educator told us we should push her to explore areas that she's not so good in -
flim:
You phrased it exactly!! Yah, it's such a fine balancing act. As the parent, we're supposed to know better. That's true because of our experience, but we're not them, with their individual tastes. So when we feel we've become too pushy, we tell them to choose. But they're not sure either! I tell my son that all three of us (mummy, daddy and him) have to keep trying to maintain a \"happy\" balance. And if it fails, we have to trust that we have the best intentions for each other. This really keeps us going.
the thing about it is, at least from personal experience with my daughter, sometimes the children can be pretty inconsistent. i asked my daughter the other day if she wanted to learn drawing. she said she didn't want to. after much persuasion, she agreed to give it a go for one lesson. now, she says she wants to go there everyday! haha...
being a parent is really tricky...
Really funny story about your daughter's drawing class! -
hi everyone, merry christmas!
just wanted to share http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/30/weekinreview/30pennebaker.html with all of you... i read it in the today paper the other day.
it's about a study that showed that those who usually try to multitask are generally worse at multitasking than those who don't usually do it.
i wonder if it also applies to those who try to be good at many things all in one go... and what does that mean to us parents, in terms of our expectation of our children, and expectation of ourselves... -
Besides being the homemaker, taking care of children, meals, laundry etc, what other things do you do for your OWN interest? Yoga? cooking classes? Anyone can share?
-
I PTWM, can contribute ideas anot, yen715?
I climb stairs, hills (Bt timah nia), cycle, run, gym, shop, movies, facial, yoga too. And I nap, snack, nag, tea, gossip, read, sudoku, count calories and most importantly, I'm a junkie kiasuparent here.
:welcome: yen715. -
Yen715:
Besides being the homemaker, taking care of children, meals, laundry etc, what other things do you do for your OWN interest? Yoga? cooking classes? Anyone can share?
I PT too, although quite a lot of flexibility.
So glad you asked this question cos I got quite a lot going on. I definitely DONT' do housework - just not my cup of tea and am lucky I can avoid. But I lurve to cook and concoct all sorts of new recipes. I love making fusion food, especially Japanese style ones (lighter on palate and waist). Love baking too. Stopped yoga/pilates cos of injury but re-starting. Started scooting with son (got adult size scooter some more :D). I read tonnes - fiction, non fiction. Used to read a lot of parenting books but sian liao. Have only a few good friends that I go out with a lot. Love jewelry :love: but this addiction worse than chocolate. Love holidays, foot reflex and massages. And then these days, hooked on ksparents.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login