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    Move in with MIL?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
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    • Laura02L Offline
      Laura02
      last edited by

      My MIL stays with us. For a while there, both PIL stayed with us for a few days and went back to thier own hse at the weekends. Both PIL have dementia. Then the maid left, a new one came, and FIL decided to go for a walk one morning at 2am. He was finally found at TTSH at midnight. He’d fallen down and a friendly passerby called for an ambulance.

      Now MIL is permanently installed at our hse. Our maid cares for her. For a while there, FIL stayed with dh’s older brother … but he now stays in his own home with a maid.
      I think its common for IL’s to squabble. MIL sometimes says that our hse is hers,… then again she also talks to the TV, and even her reflection in the window. She is sometimes violent and beats anyone around her, including my dc, … but at other times its plain to see that she’s much more partial to my kid than her other grandchildren. Then again, its probably because she sees us everyday and the others only once a week.
      SIL used to make snide, hurtful remarks about me and complain to MIL. Then again, perhaps as the first IL she got the brunt of the family’s resistance to an "outsider". I remember when the first "outsider" was introduced to my family and the snide remarks passed about her because her customs were different.
      I would like to think that we mellow with age, and like water off a duck’s back, past hurts and insults between ILs are are allowed to slide.

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      • H Offline
        highheels
        last edited by

        It’s never a good idea to stay with in-laws. Especially MILs and DILs staying together. I know I would never be able to live in harmony with my MIL…and I think she knows it too.

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        • janet88J Offline
          janet88
          last edited by

          highheels:
          It's never a good idea to stay with in-laws. Especially MILs and DILs staying together. I know I would never be able to live in harmony with my MIL...and I think she knows it too.

          相见容易, 同住难...for me, 相见都难。
          The youngest son wanted them to sell their flat and stay with him and his wife...you know what will happen if there is any disagreement.

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          • A Offline
            AdonciaTang
            last edited by

            janet_lee88:
            highheels:

            It's never a good idea to stay with in-laws. Especially MILs and DILs staying together. I know I would never be able to live in harmony with my MIL...and I think she knows it too.


            相见容易, 同住难...for me, 相见都难。
            The youngest son wanted them to sell their flat and stay with him and his wife...you know what will happen if there is any disagreement.

            Totally Agree

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            • Coolkidsrock2C Offline
              Coolkidsrock2
              last edited by

              Me too. But DH not eldest son and PILs helped looked after kids of his eldest siblings (managing their households, maids, doing marketing, ferrying kids to/fro childcare and tution) so I will definitely go through the roof if anyone ever suggest them moving into my house. Anyways, my house is the smallest and being "most unfamiliar with the dynamics in my family, it will be more comfortable for them to move in with the other siblings". PILs helped them so much but none offered to lend maid to PILs to help in CNY springcleaning.

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              • janet88J Offline
                janet88
                last edited by

                The youngest one pays the most allowance...so he's eyeing parents' flat.

                The bimbo sister married to angmoh also wants the flat...they are like vultures :slapshead:

                It's really a shame and embarrassment to see those 2 suckers behaving like that. Told hubby NO WAY can the flat be sold and money given to youngest one...he is capable of throwing them out when things sour. At most, they can move into his flat (which was what he suggested) but rent out...after hearing this, that vulture shut up.

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                • A Offline
                  AdonciaTang
                  last edited by

                  janet_lee88:
                  The youngest one pays the most allowance...so he's eyeing parents' flat.

                  The bimbo sister married to angmoh also wants the flat...they are like vultures :slapshead:

                  It's really a shame and embarrassment to see those 2 suckers behaving like that. Told hubby NO WAY can the flat be sold and money given to youngest one...he is capable of throwing them out when things sour. At most, they can move into his flat (which was what he suggested) but rent out...after hearing this, that vulture shut up.
                  Thats really terrible. =(

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                  • janet88J Offline
                    janet88
                    last edited by

                    AdonciaTang:
                    janet_lee88:

                    It's really a shame and embarrassment to see those 2 suckers behaving like that. Told hubby NO WAY can the flat be sold and money given to youngest one...he is capable of throwing them out when things sour. At most, they can move into his flat (which was what he suggested) but rent out...after hearing this, that vulture shut up.


                    Thats really terrible. =(

                    i told hubby...if he is really so filial...take parents in without telling them to sell THEIR flat...true enough, that fella shut up.

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                    • O Offline
                      octoberbaby
                      last edited by

                      Aiyoh, my FIL passed away. MIL has a flat of her own. My SIL just separated from her husband, rent out their apartment. Now she moved in to her mother’s place with 2 kids and maid.


                      Wonder if MIL pass away, who is going to get the money from the apartment?

                      Anyhow, who is not eyeing on MONEY. I saw people even quarrelling during the funeral about the distribution of money.

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                      • A Offline
                        AdonciaTang
                        last edited by

                        octoberbaby:
                        Aiyoh, my FIL passed away. MIL has a flat of her own. My SIL just separated from her husband, rent out their apartment. Now she moved in to her mother's place with 2 kids and maid.


                        Wonder if MIL pass away, who is going to get the money from the apartment?

                        Anyhow, who is not eyeing on MONEY. I saw people even quarrelling during the funeral about the distribution of money.
                        True. My PIL are richer then me and DH, my DH's brother who is my BIL and his wife are much poorer then us and PIL. So his wife always like to bootlick PIL, but PIL not stupid, they know what she is doing. because of that, my PIL always only ask me and my DH and our kids out and not them. Then they start getting jealous and I even overheard them saying that in future what will happen to the inheritance. OMG... :slapshead:

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