Working Parents - How much quality time do you get weekdays?

[mummy of 2]

foreverj:

anyway, when the kids are grown up, dun we still want to keep ourselves relevant and useful? thats y my dh wants me to work, even part-time now also good. cos he worried when my dd grows up and has her own life, i wil be very lonely... i agree with him. maybe becos our current generation is generally more educated and has more options than our parents, we tend to like to see n think very far.

True that when our kids grow older, we will still want to keep ourselves occupied. But I don't think that working is the only option.

I guess it all boils down to our reason for working. For now, it's to give my kids a better standard of living. If I'm working for personal fulfillment, then I will be more than happy to continue for as long as I can work.

[tamarind]

It is true that few people can work to save enough money for retirement before age 35, after which it is not safe to have babies any more. My SIL had her babies at age 38 and 39, but I don’t know how much she has saved.


What I meant was to save enough money to last for about 10 years, after which the kids are old enough and mommy can go back to work.

Of course it depends on what kind of jobs the mommy is looking for. For those with engineering degrees, then we can forget about getting a job as a engineer at age 40. Other professions like teaching, secretary, accounts may be easier.

[mummy of 2]

tamarind:

It is true that few people can work to save enough money for retirement before age 35, after which it is not safe to have babies any more. My SIL had her babies at age 38 and 39, but I don't know how much she has saved.


What I meant was to save enough money to last for about 10 years, after which the kids are old enough and mommy can go back to work.

Of course it depends on what kind of jobs the mommy is looking for. For those with engineering degrees, then we can forget about getting a job as a engineer at age 40. Other professions like teaching, secretary, accounts may be easier.

I won't feel comfortable quitting my job if I only have enough savings to last for 10 years. I will be worried that I can't find a job after my savings run out

That's just me. I saluate the SAHMs who are brave enough to take the risk.

[tamarind]

I guess we have to compare the risk of not finding the right people to look after our kids and putting them in danger, with the risk of not having enough money after the savings run out. All the planning should be done before we even have kids. Those mommies who are not worried about money, most likely have husbands who have stable or high income


Actually if we don't mind any job, it should not be difficult to find, there are many job vacancies in the service sector.

[foreverj]

would like to share something i realised from seeing a colleague who came back to work after her children are all grown up to 20s. at age 50, she finished a master’s degree and worked for a while in the dept i wk. unfortunately, i c that she can’t really mix with the rest of us cos we r like 20s to early 30s. seeing her i realised by the time i want to go back to full-time job when my dd all grown up, my peers all senior management already. but i m only qualified to work under them and my supposedly peers would be my dd’s age or slightly older. i told myself i dun want to b like her lor. so really gotta plan early as to wat i want for my own life.

[mummy of 2]

hi foreverj


Thanks for your sharing. The part about peers moving on did not cross my mind till you pointed it out. I guess every decision has its pros and cons. Really must think carefully before we make any decision.

I guess I will only be willing to quit my job, if I can be sure that I don’t ever have to work for the money again.

[sleepy]

foreverj:

would like to share something i realised from seeing a colleague who came back to work after her children are all grown up to 20s. at age 50, she finished a master's degree and worked for a while in the dept i wk. unfortunately, i c that she can't really mix with the rest of us cos we r like 20s to early 30s. seeing her i realised by the time i want to go back to full-time job when my dd all grown up, my peers all senior management already. but i m only qualified to work under them and my supposedly peers would be my dd's age or slightly older. i told myself i dun want to b like her lor. so really gotta plan early as to wat i want for my own life.

I think it's very hard to rejoin workforce after such long break. Have to think of alternative career that are outside office environment.

[sleepy]

MdmKS:

For SAHM with 2 or more children, do you actually have domestic helper while that release you to have more time teaching your children? I feel if there is no helper how do you do all by yourself at home? Or do your DH still help up while you are not working or expect you to bao-ga-liao ?

I am a SAHM with 2 kids. Never had a maid. Since the arrival of kids, I learnt to be less of a perfectionist. Cannot expect everything to be sparkling clean or spotless. When they were much younger, we had a part time cleaner.
Kids will do simple tasks like change their bedsheets, fold their clothes & keep in wardrobe. However, their room is perpectually messy. I go haywire whenever I see a messy room. Told my kids even if they don't tidy up, the least they can do is don't mess up



Tamarind
My hubby type 2. Not 50% housework though. Maybe 15 - 20 %.
He irons his own clothes, mop the floor & ad hoc tougher tasks like clean windows. Cook one meal once a week. On the account he brings home the bacon, cannot bully him too much :lol:

[pineapple tarts]

I am a FTWM. I have 2 kids, younger one going to P1 next year. My maid can get along very well with the kids thou her housework & cooking so-so only. I have dinner with my kids everyday. That is the time where we talk about any rubbish under the sun. 8:30p.m until 9:30p.m. check homework, wallet & revision. Before sleep at 10p.m, each child read 1-2 pages chinese and english storybook aloud for me to listen. After that, I check my maid's work, talk to her b4 she goes to sleep. Finally I can go bath & watch news at 11p.m. Where is DH huh???? He is either at work or in front of the computer lor.... Weekend no work for all (except maid ), time to chill out & visit parents.

[Piggymum]

Hello all...thanks for sharing.

For me, quitting is quite impossible. I won't feel secure that DH would be the sole bread winner.

I have requested to work 3 or 4 days week (with pay cut) but not approved Recruiters also said in Singapore, not many employers are willing to have staff (esp mid mgt & above) work part-time. When I check my kind of positions from overseas website, can easily see part-time position available.

Both DH & my work are quite hectic. Yes, I agree that having a maid is a must in order to let us have the chance to spend time with kids. My kids usually don't want to sleep earlier (10:30pm)...they want to talk, play, want me to read books with them and unwillingly go to bed at 11pm and still want to talk...eventually fall asleep before mid-night. So poor thing....
Sigh...