Home for kids

[jedamum]

Namie,

is it just a rant?
or u are sending him away to a relative’s house where there are better/more model peer for him to look up to?
if u send him to children’s home, not only will u have unmotivated children, u may end up with one who gets onto the wrong side of the law next time due to bad peer influence.

[coolbreeze]

ngl2010:

Are you showing your posts to your DS?


My sister used to threaten her DD2 that she will make her stay with me if the girl is naughty. The threat is only effective for 1 hour. Once the girl forgot, she misbehave again.... Kekekeke....

My first thought when I read this: 'You must be one hell of an aunt!'
:rotflmao: No offence hor, jk only!

[ImMeeMee]

ammonite:

Namie,


It's accumulated stress speaking. Give yourself a break from any expectations or worries about your child's future for one day and you will feel better. Recharge your batteries - go for a foot massage during lunch break, buy a favourite dessert etc.

While there are some super motivated competitive children around, the average child is not like that. When you feel a bit better, take a realistic look at your goals for your child and see if they are realistic for him at his current state. What is 'good enough'?

For me, good enough is my son (p3) finishing and checking all his school homework by himself, do the exercises prescribed by his OT (only 10min) and an hour of Chinese revision with me. I know this is very little compared to his peers, but this is his emotional maximum for daily work and is an improvement for a daydreamer. He is not in the top class and has mild learning issues. Dh and I know we cannot push him beyond a certain limit without damaging him and our relationship even though we know he is capable of more intellectually. Dh as a late bloomer, is also very sanguine about ds. It is more important to keep up the love for learning and discovery, than to be the top 3 every year if the latter has to come at a high cost.

Being patient with his brother, watching his manners, and tidying up after himself are other markers of his growth. If you expand your perspective beyond academics, you may feel better. It is really not the end all and be all.

:goodpost:

[ImMeeMee]

Namie


Truth be told, when I first read your post, I went ‘I dont believe this …’.

But since you have been very brief about your situation, maybe there’s really more to the eye?

I agree with ammonite. I too have a special needs child. Moderate your expectations. Sort things out. Never give up. There is no back door where our own kids are concerned. It can be tough but its not impossible.

All the best.

[janet88]

Your son will feel that you and hubby do not love him…seriously, sending him away will lead to negative effects as he grows up.

I hope you are just stressed.

[alng]

A must-read for all parents. When everyone has given up on our kids, we should still believe in them and give them all the necessary support. Never give up on our own kids!


网络转载


第一次參加家長會，幼兒園的老師說：「你的兒子有多動症，在板凳上連三分鐘都座不了，你最好帶他去醫院看一看。」

回家的路上，兒子問她老師都說了些什麼，她鼻子一酸，差點流下淚來。
…
因為全班30位小朋友，惟有他表現最差；惟有對他，老師表現出不屑。

然而她還是告訴她的兒子：「老師表揚你了，說寶寶原來在板凳上坐不了一分鐘，現在能坐三分鐘了，其他的媽媽都非常羨慕媽媽，因為全班只有寶寶進步了。」

那天晚上，她兒子破天荒吃了兩碗米飯，並且沒讓她餵。

兒子上小學了。

家長會上，老師說：「全班50名同學，這次數學考試，你兒子排第40名，我們懷疑他智力上有些障礙，您最好能帶他去醫院查一查。」

回去的路上，她流下了淚。然而，當她回到家裡，卻對坐在桌前的兒子說：「老師對你充滿信心。他說了，你並不是個笨孩子，只要能細心些，會超過你的同桌，這次你的同桌排在21名。」

說這話時，她發現，兒子黯淡的眼神一下子充滿了光，沮喪的臉也一下子舒展開來。

她甚至發現，兒子溫順得讓她吃驚，好像長大了許多。

第二天上學時，去得比平時都要早。

孩子上了初中，又一次家長會。

她坐在兒子的座位上，等著老師點她兒子的名字，因為每次家長會，她兒子的名字在差生的行列中總是被點到。

然而，這次卻出乎她的預料，直到結束，都沒聽到。

她有些不習慣。臨別，去問老師，老師告訴她：「按你兒子現在的成績，考重點高中有點危險。」

她懷著驚喜的心情走出校門，此時她發現兒子在等她。

路上她扶著兒子的肩，心裡有一種說不出的甜蜜，她告訴兒子：「班主任對你非常滿意，他說了，只要你努力，很有希望考上重點高中。」

高中畢業了。

第一批大學錄取通知書下達時，學校打電話讓她兒子到學校去一趟。

她有一種預感，她兒子被清華錄取了，

因為在報考時，她給兒子說過，她相信他能考取這所學校。

他兒子從學校回來，把一封印有清華大學招生辦公室的特快專遞交到她的手，突然轉身跑到自己的房間裡大哭起來。

邊哭邊說：「媽媽，我知道我不是個聰明的孩子，可是，這個世界上只有你能欣賞我……」

這時，她悲喜交加，再也按捺不住十幾年來凝聚在心中的淚水，任它打在手中的信封上。

一句鼓勵的話，可改變一個人的觀念與行為，甚至改變一個人的命運！

一句負面的話，可刺傷一個人的心靈與身體，甚至毀滅一個人的未來!

[Lilac66]

Thanks alng for this great touching and inspiring article! It confirms the belief that,


"to influence behaviour, influence the mind first"

[auntieM]

Thanks alng for sharing..

[Jennifer]

I will support the decision to send the child away - for the good of the child. There are families out there who will love the child more than the biological mum.


I cant believe this mum is serious.

[Joule]

/OT a bit / dark humour inside


on the flip side, it's quite a pity we are not part of china (yet)

let's all send out lazy, unmotivated kids to brat camp!

let's all sing patriotic songs and go on long marches

see youtube video

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lUPDM6ljsE][/youtube]

/end of OT