桃花谈

[SAHM_TAN]

insider,


Does the 桃花 star affect the person's appearance and/or charisma? Thanks, just curious.

[insider]

SAHM_TAN:

insider,


Does the 桃花 star affect the person's appearance and/or charisma? Thanks, just curious.

Today is CNY eve, cant really write detailed post and so will be taking some relevant questions first.

桃花 star affect a person's appearance? Emmmm...yes and no are the answers.

My niece and my son both have 桃花 star/s in their Main Field.

My niece has the big ones and my son the small ones, and one is attractive in a 妩媚 style (if you see her, you'll want to 'grab' her) and one is attractive coz of very sociable and likable, aka 有人缘. (After seeing my niece's Life Plate, I actually also went to see my elder kids' Life Plates in details. Think they big enough oredi and whatever they are likely to become is more or less 'fixed' by now, not like if i go and see the plates when they were younger and then saw something good/bad and then may try to go and do something unnecessary to correct it coz that may backfire <this is another topic>).

In fact, any star/s that are in the Main Field will tell something about a person's look, but 桃花 star = attractive (need not be pretty though but will be attractive).

To elaborate more on 桃花:

When 桃花 stars are shinning on someone, even a 200 pounds short woman can have man attracted to her.

Havent you see of some errr....veli fat or even errr....ugly women still will have people holding their hands, marry, and have kids and set you thinking,

\"How come this kind also got people want huh?\",

\"How come her husband can treat her even better than mine has been treating me huh?\",

\"How come her husband eyes pasted with stamps or wat when he is rich and handsome but still can marry this kind? Why so stupid huh?\", etc.

The concept of 情人眼里出西施 is 'realer' than pearl...

Being 'Pretty' or 'Handsome' is not the real essence of 桃花 star (now taken collectively as a group of stars sharing similar characteristics)).

When 桃花 star is shinning on Person A, A is supposed to 'glow' and will stand out among the crowd like a magnet.

Then, A will catch the attention of another one (B) with also 桃花 star shinning.

If the bad 桃花 star is shinning on A, A will attract 烂桃花. (eg, a con man/woman to kena 骗财骗色, a married person to become a Small Three, someone who is totally different from him/her such as a young man falls ‘in love’ with an elderly woman or a rich girl falls in love with a garung guni man, a molester/rapist, etc).

After falling in, the person will enter a stage of 劫, a stage that they will be ‘blind’ (blinded by the light of the烂桃花 star). In this stage, that person will enter a dead end and will not be able to process information in any logical manner like what an outsider can see so clearly.

How often we lament about how someone is so stupid and so stupid to have enter into a relationship that obviously will bring more harm than good and how often that someone will insist in his/her own way that you are wrong and he is right? That is a 无明 stage whereby he is guided towards fire (quite abstract here but the 烂桃花 star will change the ‘image’ of the fatal relationships to a very good one for that someone no matter how other people view it as stupid).

无明is caused by the negative points generated in a person. When a person gets upset, angry, discontented, grumble, complain, etc, frequently, his ‘intelligence’ (智) will be covered by the negative points and the 无明 area in his brain expands, leading him to making mistakes that others cannot understand how come can be made in the first place (after the烂桃花 star faded, that someone may wake up like as if wake up from a nightmare and question and blame himself “why? Why?? WHY???”).

Everyone of us have this 无明 in us. It’s just a matter of how big or small is this 无明.

We have to hold one thing clear in our minds – that if we keep going into negative moods (of complaining, nagging, quarreling, etc), we generate negative points in a house, and these points will rub on all in a family = our own 无明 createS more 无明 in family members if those members are not wise enough.

If there’s someone close to us entering into this kind of stage (can be our spouse, our kids, or our other close ones), we have to WAIT.

Yes, we have to wait patiently, esp if our kids ever enter into a relationship that we don’t approve (my niece is likely to enter into one or more in the future). No scoldings will bring these kids back (sometimes even spouse). We can advise but have to be from a view that they are unlikely to take it coz they are in a 无明 state (can talk until cow comes home but then only chasing them further and deeper underground).

While waiting, one must have the faith that it is a temp state and all will pass for kids and we must be ready there to nurse their wounds willingly and gladly (never nurse a wound grudging or with an attitude of “see, don’t listen to me and see how now you suffer”. A grudge, even hidden in your heart = generate negative points = inviting无明 = dim good bright stars = brighten bad stars = your child may enter into another poor relationship coz you never really forgive his/her mistake wholeheartedly. By nursing wound willingly = generate positive points = 开智 = brighten the good stars = dim the bad stars = child will be able to see things clearly from thereon. Many of us have this habit of rubbing salt onto wounds with either our words or our body language - pls kick this terrible habit...).

If it is an EMA spouse, also have to wait. If everyday fight and quarrel, your无明 will breed his more无明 = you are indirectly responsible for extending the brightness of the 烂桃花. I know it’s terrible difficult to tahan and swallow but fight and quarrel will not bring one anywhere.

If you really cannot tahan, then it is advisable to divorce, otherwise, the negative points will rub on the kids, leading them into无明 state as well. My sis and my niece is a good case study for this. This family is in a big无明 state that they need light to get out of the tunnel (only if one of them can heed advice).

I do not advocate divorce BUT I do not agree with two quarrelling people still staying together coz the kids will suffer as a result of the negative Qi in the house. A house ideally should carry positive Qi most if not all the time

If the good 桃花 star is shinning, A will attract good compatible 桃花 = Happy Marriage.

Similarly, good 桃花 star must not be dimmed by negative points. Everyone has good 桃花 star shinning on us one time or another. But if during such time, we are surrounded by negative points, then the 桃花 star will be dimmed, and then we will miss our chance of getting married. Good 桃花 star is ‘seasonal’, meaning they will shine on a person only once in a few years time and so if miss it, will have to wait and if keep missing it = permanent single…


Aiya, feel a bit lo soh / incoherent but really not easy to put my understandings into words (feeling a bit 'stressed' actually coz like many aunties are interested in this.).

Basically, just avoid going into negative moods so as not to grow your 无明.

Be kind and forgiving and generate more positive points = bouncing positive points on others = others generate positive points and bounce onto you = clear minds = GOOD LUCK!

[SAHM_TAN]

insider,


Thank you for taking the time to post such a detailed answer to my query.

I have much to think abt.

新年快乐

[Nebbermind]

jedamum:

kaka:

好像在追看连续剧 。。 期待下一集 。。。

http://www.smileyvault.com/

Better not be a few hundred episodes like '爱'

[Imami]

Nebbermind:

jedamum:

[quote=\"kaka\"]好像在追看连续剧 。。 期待下一集 。。。

http://www.smileyvault.com/

Better not be a few hundred episodes like '爱'[/quote]Ok lor then 夜市人生 :evil:

[insider]

SAHM_TAN:

insider,


Thank you for taking the time to post such a detailed answer to my query.

I have much to think abt.

新年快乐

can ponder along the line of other matters besides 桃花 only.

the negative points generated via negative moods affect not only 桃花, it affects all the other Fields of Children, Parents, Friends, Colleagues, Career, Money, Movement/Mobility, and Overall Happiness as well.

无明 leads to people cannot have positive children, positive parents, positive friends, positive colleagues, positive career, positive money flow, positive movement, and thereby affect the overall happiness of a person. Therefore, if one's life is not smooth, coz he/she is surrounded by many negative points that are attracting more negative things (essence of NLP).

So to stay positive and calm in any situation whenever possible is the key to find solutions for life's crisis (many times if can remain positive and calm, solutions will come automatically even without having to find it. Solutions are always there but coz of 无明, people are blinded and miss them even they are right in front).

You may not believe me. When I face some problems that I have no solutions, I will digest the situation and then go function as normally (work, play mahjong, drink wine, etc) coz I just have this faith that the solutions will pop up right in front of me sooner or later. I can even sleep peacefully and really the solutions will 'appear'.

My second sis cannot tahan me in this sense, always complains to my siblings that \"I dont care\" and still can function as per normal, as if I 'bo chup' and heartless.

She is another one with a big patch of 无明 in her, coz she will always think of the most terrible consequences out of a problem and then worry herself to death unnecessarily (remember I have another SAHM sis who managed to groom 3 GEP kids? I once wrote about she was in a near depression and then when I spoke to her eldest daughter, her daughter told me, \"My mum is siow one.\" - imagine slogging herself throughout her life to groom the kids and ended up with a term like this? Her RI son is also very difficult to manage, giving her a lot of attitude problems. I will help my this second sis at a later stage coz the time is not ripe yet).

Very pessimistic when meeting problems...no good... (one of my life's beliefs - no problems can kill us and so dont need to worry ourselves too much). Ya, my second sis will be the last one whom I will teach any fortune telling skills (coz she will keep looking at and worrying about the bad ones instead of be happy with the good ones = not a suitable candidate to learn)

I still have much 无明 in me but I am very conscious of negative feelings. From young (even without this concept of 无明), I will not let myself dwell over a thing for more than 3 days. Now, I am highly sensitive and conscious of my own negative thoughts, that I will curb one whenever I realise I am in that state of mood.

My 3 kids are 'good enough' kids as I always 'boast'. They are good coz I am wise enough to avoid rubbing negative points onto them and therefore they are able to generate good points for themselves and therefore can lead smooth lives so far.

All my kids have a common characteristic - they are filial, be it to their parents or to their grand parents or towards the elderly in general.

Character development is more important than academic development - this is something that I have been preaching in this forum for many years as long as I have the appropriate chance.

As long as a child has the right character = all things will be well taken care of coz they will be protected by all the positive points they made for themselves = have lesser 无明 = lower chance of making bad decisions in their life.

Academic achievement is not really important coz knowledge does not equate wisdom. As long as the wisdom can be open up, knowledge will come alive and become relevant.

I never envy parents with smart kids, I envy parents with wise kids coz wise = happiness. I am not shy to say my daughter is smart and wise (she will still have her 无明 but her kind heart will give her enough positive points / strength to sail through those difficult periods and emerge stronger after each period. Few thousand years ago what Confucius said is still valid till today

仁者不忧
智者不惑
勇者不惧.

Therefore, it is still important to develop

the 仁 (to harbour kindness and then it is like one will be free from worries),

the 智 (wisdom to see clearly even if one is in a mess = can make better decisions), and

the 勇 (courage to do the things that need to be done instead of being frighten off and wasting time hesitating. 'Fear' in many situations is quite a useless hindering emotion coz most of the time, it is not warrant of).

So, always attempt to model for your child what a good person should be like with your actions and not so much on words. And, start by being a filial person towards your parents, your in-laws, and the rest of the elderly.

Encourage your kids to do small things for you, such as helping you to carry lighter grocery bags or fetch you a glass of water or add sugar to your coffee, etc; something that is manageable and age appropriate. This will help them to build their positive points (don’t tell them of course).

By doing something small and gradually bigger, kids are likely to turn into useful children in the family and then to the society. Pls don’t breed robots who only know how to study but nothing else…

Dolphinseah maintains a Zen page with many good quotes. If one wants to even master one of the quotes may take a whole life to achieve it.

Zen takes a whole life to practise and therefore it definitely requires a much looooooooooooooooooooongeeeeeeeeeeeer time than drama 爱……

[ruohoo97]

Thanks a lot for sharing. Insider, many of above points seems from Buddhism or Daoism. I understand and appreciate due to my Chinese upbringing. however, what many have been struggling is they know what is right, but they can’t do what is right; they know what is wrong, but they can’t help but doing what is wrong.

That is why I became Christian when I grow up, cos by ourselves, we are limited, but by Christ Jesus, we have power to overcome sin.

I am still learning to follow Jesus each day.

[insider]

ruohoo97:

That is why I became Christian when I grow up, cos by ourselves, we are limited, but by Christ Jesus, we have power to overcome sin.

I am still learning to follow Jesus each day.

No matter what religion you are in, you must be strongly guided by your faith which is the strength that will help you move forward positively. Jesus will guide you to the correct pathway - to be a good person...

One of the key differences between Jesus and Buddha to me is Christians requires God's grace to overcome sins but Buddha tells us that we have this potential in ourselves to overcome our sins (and coz of my personal experiences, I know this potential exists and therefore tend to want to open up this potential in my kids).

Putting religions asides (respectfully for all religions which I think is good to have coz they serve as anchors when one is in troubles), some spending thousands in attending NLP courses (can't remember exactly how much I spent many years back. Think around $4888/pax for 6 days course??). In this kind of courses, they are all about 'awakening the POWER in you'... (in us, there are really tremendous power that is hindered by 无明. NLP will give methods to overcome it if one really can get enlightened...)

PS:

I have never thought that being a good Christian is anytime easier than being a good Buddhist or a good Muslim. Basically, it just difficult to be a good person...

[SAHM_TAN]

Hi insider,


Your posts abt 桃花 have triggered me to think about the other matters that you mentioned along, such as parenting, positive/negative energy/points, etc.

Thanks for expanding your thoughts about them.

I will reserve some of my qns after CNY.

[Imami]

Insider, is everyone born with equal or fixed proportion of 无明 ? Does everyone start with zero positive points and have to work towards good deeds to accumulate the points?


How come some people seem very wise, well beyond their age?