桃花谈
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Cont. Conversation with my niece 3
Me: Escaping in the dorm may be able to avoid your bad stars from shining any brighter but it will not help to dim them. Ah Yi looked at your Spouse field and if you cannot dim the bad stars, what Ah Yi can see is you will marry someone who is stubborn, possessive, and who wants to control you.
Niece: Yee…I don’t want to marry that kind of man. I hate people to control me.
Me: If you want to marry a good man then you have to start doing your part to dim the bad stars and the one who can help you most is your mum. You need your mum’s blessings to dim the stars. You don’t think of you can escape from people controlling you just by staying away. If you cannot reconcile with your mum, then you will meet someone similar as her to help you to learn patience again.
Niece: Ah Yi, I don’t think I can ever get along well with my mum if she doesnt change. Why don’t you tell her to change so that we can get along more peacefully?
Me: Ah Yi will think of a way to talk to your mum but you can imagine your mum is likely to tell me the same thing of asking you to change first before she can change. If so, then how?
Niece (scratching head): How huh?
Me (I also scratching head): Why don’t you start with something small, such as making an conscientious effort to hold your tongue whenever you have an urge to fire back at her? Just do this – hold your tongue and don’t go and light her fire coz the moment you lighted her fire, she will start with a bigger fire and trust me that it will burn you even though you maybe right in that particular matter.
Niece: Even if I can hold my tongue, I will still be unhappy in my heart. To tell you honestly, I always curse my mum in my heart.
Me: Emmm…you just learn to hold your tongue first. If you can hold it successfully for 5 times, then you have a chance of changing your heart. If you cannot hold your tongue, then it maybe very difficult to have a smooth life.
So you actually curse your mum in your heart. Ah Yi needs to explain to you the power of curse.
If you curse your mum, even when your mum cannot hear your inner voice, the curse will return in multiplier effect negatively onto your destiny.
You think you can fly a nail on your mum, you have to know ten nails are finding their ways back towards you. You need to start to think how to obtain blessings from your mum instead of getting bouncing curses that will brighten your bad stars.
Ah Yi tell you a story of my old neighbour when I was young.
I used to play with a neighbour. That auntie has 2 sons and 3 daughters. One day, her husband died of work accident. That auntie was very sad. Somehow, she had the idea that her immediate neighbour cast a black magic onto the husband that resulted in his early death.
That time her 5 kids were around the range of 7 to 14 years old. I was about 7 - 8 years old then, and I played with the youngest daughter in the family while my brothers would play with this daughter's brothers.
Since her husband's death, that auntie couldn't accept her fate.
Every 6 or 7 pm, she would open her door and knelt in front of her gate. With three joss sticks in her hands, she would start spouting curses, something along the line of “whoever had caused my husband’s death will 不得好死”, etc.
She did it everyday for a long time.
Then, her eldest son caught a fever and was hospitalized.
Then, her eldest son died (at around age 10 or 11).
That auntie went into suicide mode when she received the news of her son’s death. She literally attempted suicide in front of many of us by biting her tongue. She was saved by other aunties in her house at that time.
She continued to wail and curse during that difficult period, asking God why she was not protected and the bad people could continue to harm her family.
About a year later, that family shifted out and I lose touch with that girl whom I used to play with (she was my childhood’s best friend).
However, the other son continued to frequent our area coz his schools were nearby. Now at around 50 years old, he is a bachelor without a proper job and every old friend in my old neighbourhood knows that he is cohabiting with a married woman about 10 years his senior and all the stories about the woman’s husband and children went to him to ask him to leave that woman.
When Ah Yi was so small at that time, Ah Yi didn’t know much about the power of curses and couldn’t understand why that auntie is so 苦命. Now Ah Yi kind of figure it out that all her curses returning to her and when Ah Yi said ‘her’, Ah Yi means anyone close to her will also receive the negative energy and therefore more difficult to lead a smooth life.
Ah Yi don’t know much about the fate of the other three daughters but chances are they are unlikely to live a smooth life coz they are just surrounded by too much negative energy that will dim whatever bright stars that might been shining on them.
So, pls dont curse anyone, esp your parents, coz curses have a unique property of able to bounce back to the originator.
Niece: Wah, Ah Yi got so many interesting stories! Emmm.... let me think about it.
Me: Ah Yi learned a lot from others' mistakes and avoid those mistakes and Ah Yi hope you can learn the same. (remark: this part is about the size of 无明 in each person. If the 无明 is of a large patch, then one cannot learn from the mistakes of others but will have to go through that mistake to learn a lesson.) 福祸无门，唯人自招. This means you are the creator of your own happiness or disasters base on your inner thoughts and behaviours.
Me (cont.) Do you think your mum love you?
Niece: I think so but she doesn’t seem to know how to love me.
Me: If you think that your mum loves you, then you have to hold this thought firmly in your head. We don’t hurt people who love us right? Never lose sight of your mum’s love for you even though your mum doesn’t know how to love you properly. Never lose sight of this love when you are engulfed with anger or frustrations. Your mum is suffering as well when she cannot have a good relationship with you and so why not you at least make an effort to try to help her by changing yourself bit by bit. Ah Yi can promise you, the moment you change, your mum will change, and everything will change for the better.
Niece: Let me think about it…
Me: Can you go think and then promise Ah Yi something, that if in future, you meet a cross road about any relationship issues that you cannot decide while at the same time, you don’t want to discuss with your mum, you will come and consult Ah Yi. Ah Yi will listen to you and then advise you. At that time, you just have to take Ah Yi’s advice without doubt and just follow. You should know, Ah Yi is wiser than you and is capable of making better decisions for you. When you can’t decide on something, just listen to Ah Yi, OK? (remark: I am paving a way to let her have a light to follow if she ever encounters bad 桃花 stars that confuse her).
Niece: OK! I trust you!
Me: You have good 桃花 stars in your fortune and Ah Yi hope you work towards brightening these good stars so that you can marry a good man to have a happy family. Now try to reverse your negative thinking of \"I cannot get along with my mum. I cannot get along with my mum.\" into \"I can! I can!\"
To be continued… Conversation with my sister
Note: I didn’t tell my niece about her fortune shows she will marry young and divorce. This info is too much for her at the moment and therefore may become a self fulfilling prophecy. After all, my fortune telling may be wrong and so if wrong, I would have sinned greatly for casting such a bad shadow on to her unnecessarily. -
Insider, hope to understand more on the part on cursing and it will bounce back to oneself and people around this person.
What is the rationale (or is there?) behind the "bounce back to people around? Why is it not 一人做事一人当？ will it always have a multiples effect?
Also, is the money bowl theory also applicable for the acquisition of knowledge? Or is it 学无止境？ -
insider:
I'm also curious as to why the owner of the bookshop took the trouble to \"warn\" your niece. Did the owner see something in her? Please update if you do visit the shop.
Niece: I curious mah coz I have never been to fortune telling before. She told me she is into fortune telling and charged people for doing it but she did it for me FOC. She learnt her skills through the famous xxx whom I don't even know who's that.
...
To be continued… (quite a long conversation). I am curious what did that owner see in my niece that she bothered enough to do a fortune telling for her. I will visit that shop one day to have a feel of that owner. -
insider:
insider,
Note: I didn’t tell my niece about her fortune shows she will marry young and divorce. This info is too much for her at the moment and therefore may become a self fulfilling prophecy. After all, my fortune telling may be wrong and so if wrong, I would have sinned greatly for casting such a bad shadow on to her unnecessarily.
what do you look at -
to say that your niece may marry young and divorce ?
is it you look at your niece' palm and the lines on her palm, or you look at her birth date, her birth year and birth hour, or you look at her facial features : eg: like having a mole on her face ? -
Hi insider,
Reading your niece’s story reminded me of something. My fren visit a particular temple regularly I guess. One day an old lady told her fortune just by looking at her not requesting any infor. Just tell her in a very impromptu manner. Does that consider 有缘人？not sure if it’s the right phrase. -
One question insider, regarding the telling of someone’s fortune.
Is there a saying "天机不可泄露“？
If there is, then, won’t the person who is telling others fortune attract -ve points? Even if the intention is good but it could be going against "heaven’s will"?
Aren’t fortune not supposed to be said? But instead only give subtle hints if really want to help a person? -
phtthp:
She did mention here http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=954005#p954005
insider,insider:
Note: I didn’t tell my niece about her fortune shows she will marry young and divorce. This info is too much for her at the moment and therefore may become a self fulfilling prophecy. After all, my fortune telling may be wrong and so if wrong, I would have sinned greatly for casting such a bad shadow on to her unnecessarily.
what do you look at -
to say that your niece may marry young and divorce ?
is it you look at your niece' palm and the lines on her palm, or you look at her birth date, her birth year and birth hour, or you look at her facial features : eg: like having a mole on her face ?
She used the birth time and charted 紫薇命盘 -
limlim:
One question insider, regarding the telling of someone's fortune.
Is there a saying \"天机不可泄露“？
If there is, then, won't the person who is telling others fortune attract -ve points? Even if the intention is good but it could be going against \"heaven's will\"?
Aren't fortune not supposed to be said? But instead only give subtle hints if really want to help a person?
I interpret Buddhism as well as all these fortune telling ‘logic’ based on my ‘emotional connections with the Truth’, meaning I will not subscribe to what I read and heard in a wholesale manner.
We do hear often about 天机不可泄露 else the teller may get 天谴 .
As I mentioned in one of earlier posts, we have to differentiate here between those who talk too much and/or talk unnecessarily and/or those who talk with ulterior motives vs those who talk to help selflessly.
If doing this fortune tell for my niece can help her, my sister’s family, and my niece’s future family but at the end I suffer some form of 天谴, then I will take it willingly. I also said before to be a leader one needs to have 仁、智、勇. If I have the 仁 and 智 but lack of the 勇 coz of the fear of 天谴, then I will not be fit to be a ‘leader’.
Basically, I do things with a very firm attitude of 问心无愧，then the rest I will leave it for supernatural judgment.
We heard of people born to be 乩童 （God’s Medium）. In my personal experiences, I believe there are true乩童 who are born with supernatural skills to help others to 消灾解难， though out of 50 of these, 49 of them maybe fake ones (where you read from the news that how these fake mediums cheated others). True 乩童 are born with a holy purpose and so will not receive –ve points but +ve points if they carry out their duty respectfully… (wonder Nebbermind and Imami watched Korean Drama 花仙 子？That show quite interesting coz it talks about 乩童. ）
Not sure my above reply answer your query… -
yes it answered the question… Thanks…
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SAHM_TAN:
In cases of extra-marital affairs, like so many reported cases in the news, does it mean the bad 桃花 stars were shining on all the parties involved?
Yes, those who involved in EMA all have 桃花 stars shining on them.
However, I may want to qualify here a little bit coz not all EMAs = meeting bad 桃花.
For example, we have a woman who was under constant abuse by her spouse. Then she met someone better and started an EMA. Then she divorced the abusive husband and remarried the new one. So, this 桃花 that she met actually is a good one and not bad.
At times, we really cant tell whether a 桃花 is a good one or bad one till passing some test of time...
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