In-law problems?

[janet88]

I never stopped hubby from visiting them. But hubby will just buy breakfast on Sunday, ask his father to come downstairs and he passes to him. I cannot stop. My duty call done on CNY first day…with the unhappiness over the flat, I will not get involved. I never wanted to…but hubby kinda asked me to ‘support’ him by saying renting out master bedroom to supplement. That’s how the shit came.


Enough on my plate…don’t want to get myself upset by her.

[vinegar]

told myself hv to tak it easy…now, i jokingly told my DH that he beta put ONE hour coupon coz every time when we run errands,he has to allocate half an hour to talk to his mum.

[iFirefly]

janet_lee88:

Think the mothers refused to let go when sons get married.

My hubby was often asked to go back to drink 凉茶...when I gave birth to kids, she visited, bringing along a bottle of it for hubby.

Janet, I can imagine you doing that to your son next time.. :evil: :siam: :siam:

[janet88]

firefly38:

janet_lee88:

Think the mothers refused to let go when sons get married.

My hubby was often asked to go back to drink 凉茶...when I gave birth to kids, she visited, bringing along a bottle of it for hubby.

Janet, I can imagine you doing that to your son next time.. :evil: :siam: :siam:

I do not drink Liang teh. Maybe I will have problem letting go when daughter gets married.

[TheAnswer]

Funz:

janet_lee88:

Was informed by hub that his mother doesn't have any 'lai see'. Told him it is not the amount that matters...even if just $2...but if she doesn't have any 'lai see', then the suay one is her.

I learned long ago never to say such things to DH. No one likes their own family to be criticised no matter how bad they are. Even when MIL does something that appear to frustrate DH, I will assure him instead, that all is ok, no need to be so upset with the old folks. If I join in and rant against his mum, before I know it he will get defensive and I will be on the receiving end of his frustrations. Not worth it.

I also learnt that the hard way. When I see him frustrated, it's best I keep quiet n leave him alone! Saying more is just going to aggrevate situations.

[vinegar]

TheAnswer:

Funz:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Was informed by hub that his mother doesn't have any 'lai see'. Told him it is not the amount that matters...even if just $2...but if she doesn't have any 'lai see', then the suay one is her.

I learned long ago never to say such things to DH. No one likes their own family to be criticised no matter how bad they are. Even when MIL does something that appear to frustrate DH, I will assure him instead, that all is ok, no need to be so upset with the old folks. If I join in and rant against his mum, before I know it he will get defensive and I will be on the receiving end of his frustrations. Not worth it.

I also learnt that the hard way. When I see him frustrated, it's best I keep quiet n leave him alone! Saying more is just going to aggrevate situations.[/quote]sometx quite difficult...esp.when he makes false accusation

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

now i am no longer enjoy going out wf DH even there is chance for us to go out as couple. Indeed it has created a strain in our r/s. We do things separately nowadays.Coz I no longer wanna share my thought or feelings wf him...knowing that he'll share everything wf his mum. He seems doesn't understand...coz he has lived wf his mum for the past 32yrs.He feels it is a norm for her to call everyday,he feels it is norm to share everything wf her.


I've to learn to accept it...even after 10yrs of marriage...i am still learning to accept.Coz he expects me to accept it.

I understand his difficulties.Coz if one day he ignores her mum's call or doesn't share his daily life wf her,she'll be upset.

I would rather go out wf friends than wf DH nowadays.I would rather share my feelings wf my friends....I would rather do things alone,if i can't find any friends.

How did he manage his clingy mum before marriage? Like say if you guys are out on a date and his mum calls?

[vinegar]

How did he manage his clingy mum before marriage? Like say if you guys are out on a date and his mum calls?[/quote]


That time,he was still staying wf his mum,so seldom call.But called a lot during our wedding preparation.By that time,it was oredi too late to pull out coz we oredi ROM.

During our first few months,after the wedding,my DH went bk to ILs home few days a week.Yes, we stayed separately.I stayed in our new home,while he went bk n stayed there few days per wk…just bcoz my MIL kept telling me that:"our home cannot go without my DH".So i asked my DH go bk.

[vinegar]

vinegar:

How did he manage his clingy mum before marriage? Like say if you guys are out on a date and his mum calls?

That time,he was still staying wf his mum,so seldom call.But called a lot during our wedding preparation.By that time,it was oredi too late to pull out coz we oredi ROM.

During our first few months,after the wedding,my DH went bk to ILs home few days a week.Yes, we stayed separately.I stayed in our new home,while he went bk n stayed there few days per wk...just bcoz my MIL kept telling me that:\"our home cannot go without my DH\".So i asked my DH go bk.[/quote]

[TheAnswer]

I have learnt how to ‘study’ eye rolling and face changing gestures. When I see that, I go on extra alert mode, zips off quickly to do other stuff before things blow up. Things usual subside quickly if I hit the right button!