Club SAHM

[jedamum]

With two kids in primary school now, my husband expects less of me in the chore department. He rather I spend more time with kids. With academic coaching largely out of the picture, I had more time instead for chores as elder son is tied up and busy in the afternoon when younger is in school. I still do need my afternoon nap,so I either nap with my elder son, or, I nap in his room when he does his homework, a welcome idea suggested by him.

The younger one demands a lot of my time. His energy level is high,with even after morning cca, afternoon class, evening time he still wants me to play games or with him. Evening is a mad rush to get him settled down for dinner, piano practice,wash dishes, games with him - he loves IQ or math games that I devised, just anythingthat I turn into games or competition,he gets excited. Reading or spelling games he also happy. Then his own free time to doodle, a window for me to catch a breathe or surf net before bedtime, spend some time asking him about his day. Then it is husband time. Hardly has time for elder boy,the only time we sit and talk is his lunch time. Have to work my chores around them as I really do prefer to spend that time with them than doing chores. Heehee, lazy me. and on days when elder comes home late and I supposedly have long afternoon to get chores done, I go marketing, to mall that has better supermarket facility,only to spend more time in library or popular bookshop!

[janet88]

Both my kids & I need afternoon nap…or else cannot function till 8pm.

I get chores done when they are in school…so my time is truly spent with them when they are home. Then we get homework done after that. Break for dinner, shower and continue after that. Then revise. I start the washing machine when we have showered…when clothes are ready, daughter will do work on her own until I am done hanging up laundry. Son will approach hubby for help in his subjects. Then at about 10, we go to bed.

Fridays, daughter will finish all her school homework at night…son has CCA till 6pm, so after bath/dinner/rest, he will sleep at about 9. Saturdays is busiest day…tuition and getting school hw (son) and tuition hw done.
Trying to ‘insert’ free time on Sunday night. Last week, we went out for dinner and relax. It was indeed a good break.

[SAHM Chew]

I am looking forward for my DS3 to enter pri sch which is another 2 years time. Currently, with DS1 and DS2 in primary sch, but I still need to teach and look after DS3 in the morning, then coach DS1 and DS2 in the afternoon and night, and to do my daily chores, cooking, fetching and sending, I felt tired easily.


It is never easy been a SAHM, and harder when the kids are still young.

[KSmom8]

:udawoman: Kudos to the mums with young kids who manage it all without a helper!


Before DS2 came along, I managed it all for a short period with DS1 then a baby. Was too tiring. Was not too happy and hence, returned to work.

When I became a SAHM for the 2nd time, I made sure that I had a domestic helper. This way, I could focus on the kids, instead of the household chores. However, to be home with a helper, also means loss of privacy and more chances of friction. When DS1 was in primary sch and DS2 in kindergarten, I was in and out of home often, most time out. Now that DS1 is in sec school, he takes public transport. So I'm home more and starting to miss my privacy, with helper at home. Also have to close eyes more to things she does and does not do. So far, still feel ok though.

Hmmm, I think I should hit the gym sometimes... when DS2 is in kindy. Got to lose those pounds gained during CNY and more!

[KSmom8]

janet_lee88:

KSmom8:

My focus now is on DS2 who's in K2. Have to get him prepared for primary school and P1. I feel I neglected him last year as DS1 was having PSLE. There's a routine of sending him to enrichment classes, school and coaching him myself. Can't do as much as I want cos his attention span is not as long as DS1. Sometimes, get so little done and feeling worried whether he will ever be prepared for P1.


Is it easy / difficult to get a reliable part time maid?

My focus is also on younger one as I totally neglected her for 2 years since she entered P1.
She is totally different from son...she is more auto to get homework done, but this girl's character is such that her feathers cannot be ruffled or she will stomp. She has tuition weekly...so I be the backup for languages on weekdays...like revising. Math and Science is daddy's specialty.

Mum is using a part time maid...the maid does a good job...but I find she is not systematic...for eg if she has to vacuum floor, there is no place to sit. With a maid, I will tell her to vacuum and clean one room first, so that we will all stay inside. This way, nobody walks around when she cleans.
Thus, I simply refuse to get part-timer...very inconvenient.

You're lucky. DH won't coach the kids. So every subject is my responsibility, including Chinese, even though he's more Chinese one and I the potato one.

You're right. Having a part time maid will be inconvenient. Have to be home 4 hours at least whilst she's cleaning plus I suspect from reading the part time maid thread that's it is not easy to find reliable and good one. However, I also know if I decide to do without a maid, DH will still not help with any chores. Unfortunately, DH still does not understand why SAHM so tiring, should be \"eng eng\".

Will see how it goes. I can still tolerate my current maid. Feel it's not fair to prematurely terminate her, she did help a lot during DS1 psle period, when she first came.

[sleepy]

SAHM Chew:

The ages of the kids play a big part too. If all the kids are in upper pri / sec, I believe we will have more breather and 'me' time. But if the kids are smaller, which require more attention from us, and require us to fetch them and send them, we will have less time for ourselves.

My eldest is in p4 now, so he is more or less on auto pilot mode. But I still have to fetch him as he is not taking school bus, and no direct bus from our bus stop. Now, I am just waiting for my youngest to be in p1, so at least, I will have the whole morning to do housework as well as my 'me' time.

That's true, I remember I used to be much busier when my kids were toddlers & during preschool years. A lot of hand holding. And I need to sit next to them to actively coach. Once in primary school can afford to be hands-off.

Now I even have the luxury to indulge in reading manga because both are in morning session. I spend a total of an hour plus daily on housework (mostly cooking & laundry) so besides the time I'm sending/fetching kids to/fro school/tuition, the rest of ME time is ALL manga time. Gosh, I think I've a serious addiction here! Fortunately hubby doesn't mind as long as I'm happy

Sometimes being hands-off has its merits too. It's the ying & yang. Parents too siao on kids will become too dependent. Better to train them to auto-pilot. I still spot check on & off but at least no need to breathe down their necks everyday. Less stressful for me and them too, to give each other space.

[vinegar]

I used to engage PT maid for the past few years.The cleaning co i engaged was good for the 1st few yrs.As their biz grows,the svr turned badly :roll: & the quality of cleaners deteriorated.


here is just to share my personal experiences....

Local PT maid is fine but the older one could be stubborn,doesn't like to be told what to do.They also might insist u to provide them certain detergent or rag.They r more \"delicate\" n can't expect them to rough or dirty job,such as wiping window.Also,their turnover rate is the highest.So expect to keep training if they assign a replacement.

China PT maid,can nvr clean or mop well.got strength but sometx no logical thinking :siao: .I've changed a few iron board covers(coz they keep burning it by leaving the hot iron on the pad instead on the metal pad).Once,one left the hot iron on the dining table after she finished ironing.OMG,luckily i saw it,if not dining table gone case.Somehow,they like to \"spit\" :scared: after finish washing the basin.So i've to wash again after she left.

Malay PT maid,cut corner,used one pail of water n mop the whole house.The water in the pail is so little;my white mop turned into black mop after a month :nailbite: ,coz she didn't bother to rinse.Also found her rinsed my mop in the basin.I didn't know why she wanna to do that,i suspect she lazy to bend down n squeeze out the water,instead,she turned the mop n rinsed it in the basin conveniently.

Phil maid,expect she'll hv her earpiece on n keep talking while working.Find it difficult to tell her what nid to do coz she always on the phone.Very disturbing :frustrated: esp u wanna rest or teaching ur kids...coz they can talk very loudly.
Another highlight,their dressing,extremely short pants n tight T-shirt :scared: Muz also expect they'll take 15mins to doll up in ur toilet after cleaning.One even requested to borrow ur bathroom n bathed.

It has became a stress :frustrated: for me b4 their arrival.Coz u can't monitor n always tell them what to do,but at the same time,worrying if they might spoil anything or spit ur basin.

After many yrs of PT maid drama,i decide to handle hsework myself.It is tiring coz i cook 2meals everyday+all the ferry..errands.But don't care liao,just close one eye la.Coz i also can't stand the 4hours waiting.

[janet88]

Retail therapy today :rahrah: hubby needs new working pants, so have reason (or excuse) to go shopping. Like a bird with newfound freedom :imcool: ...headed to Metro (20% discount). Bought myself a pair of shoes and toner. Kept up the shopping bags when I reached home...just put hubby's new pants on the table. But he saw how happy I am and said, 'your expression said you enjoyed yourself today...that spells trouble.'


I could not be bothered. It's sure shiok to indulge in retail therapy.

Although a part time maid will solve my problems of backache and Tokuhon, I cannot stand the idea of maid taking up 4 hours and I have no privacy.
Split up my work to do...in the mood, do more. If not, just the basic like iron kids' uniforms. AND if still not in the mood, dress up and hit town.

[iFirefly]

Wow.. Vinegar.. You must have hired so many PTMs from so many countries to know so much about them.. :shock: :siam:


Since my full-time maid returned home when DS2 was 2+ years old (DS1 was 5+ years old), I decided to engage part-time help instead.. A friend introduced her PRC helper to me.. She came to my place once a week for 4 hours.. She was honest, responsible, hardworking, meticulous and she certainly KNEW how to iron clothes and mop floors.. She mopped the floors so cleanly each time she came.. She worked for me for close to 5 years..

Sadly, she had to go back to China in 2010 when her DD turned 21 years old that year.. Before she left, she introduced her friend, also a PTM, to work for me.. The transition was very smooth then.. Her friend was as hardworking and responsible as her.. And yes, she too could iron clothes and mop floors pretty well..

I have been blessed with 2 great part-time helpers.. My 2nd PTM has been with me for nearly 3 years now.. I hope that she would continue to work for me for as long as she possibly could..

Pardon me.. Somehow, I do not understand why some people have so much complaints about their PTMs.. Maybe I am luckier than them.. Or maybe their expectations of their PTMs are much higher than my expectations of my PTMs.. Well, just maybe.. :scratchhead:

[janet88]

With a part-time maid, workload is greatly reduced…but have to be prepared for more things in the house to spoil if using a PT. I just cannot live with the idea of inconvenience during that 4 hours. Windows not clean, backache scrubbing toilets, so what ?