Hanging out with intelligent friends makes children smarter

[Mdm Koh]

insider:

Emm...hang out with wise friends is better?


My daughter is surrounded by coursemates with about 80 - 90% of them scholars.

She told me these scholars, though on surface they are very 'friendly' towards each other, but at the back they back stab each other coz of the needs to maintain at as high a position as possible (in terms of results) so that they can be posted to more prestigious internships, etc.

At that age, they oredi started their politiking and more or less I could imagine this bunch of kids when they are at work subsequently. How to 造福人间? (taking that most of them will return here to be put in one of civil positions and begin to climb from there...)

Errr...sorry to pour cold water on maybe some coz 'intelligence' really mean nothing much if without the guidance of wisdom.

Yup, that's why some of my friends did not enjoy their time in the top schools. As the environment is very competitive, some of the kids there are very selfish and protective of their notes. They are not interested to share. In fact, sadly, this mentality is pervasive among teachers from top schools as well. There are some teachers from the better schools who do not want to trade notes with teachers from lower-tiered schools. This is evident from their lack of contribution to online sharing platforms set up by MOE. Maybe they feel that other schools do not deserve to benefit from their efforts. I think there's nothing wrong with sharing as long as their efforts are duly credited. But this is just my view based on what I have heard. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[pirate]

Joule:

pirate:

[quote=\"sleepy\"]I think hanging out with intelligent friends make kids more humble. So that they can realise 一山还有一山高 and this would also create the opportunity for them to learn from each other's strengths.

But then the friends will have to hang out with 'not so intelligent' kids... :siam:

so if your kid is more intelligent than most, that means its quite hard for him to hang out with other intelligent kids....right?

go Mindstretcher la or the other tuition centers where the kid have to take tuition to pass the test so that the kid can take their tuition[/quote]But I never say that kids should hang out with 'intelligent' friends. So, it's ok. No need to stretch here or stretch there. Wait kena stretched out of shape then how? :yikes:

[ammonite]

Then go imh to pat back in shape ...


:siam:

[pirate]

insider:

Emm...hang out with wise friends is better?


My daughter is surrounded by coursemates with about 80 - 90% of them scholars.

She told me these scholars, though on surface they are very 'friendly' towards each other, but at the back they back stab each other coz of the needs to maintain at as high a position as possible (in terms of results) so that they can be posted to more prestigious internships, etc.

At that age, they oredi started their politiking and more or less I could imagine this bunch of kids when they are at work subsequently. How to 造福人间? (taking that most of them will return here to be put in one of civil positions and begin to climb from there...)

Errr...sorry to pour cold water on maybe some coz 'intelligence' really mean nothing much if without the guidance of wisdom.

Yeah. They have their priorities all wrong. Should they not be socialising :celebrate: and dating :love: instead?

On a different and slightly :offtopic: note, we got so many scholars meh? Can take up 80%-90% of a course?!

[mummy so kiasu]

ChiefKiasu:

Dora1:

...

My P1 DD just told me tat she has been helping 2 friends during recess every day. She still doesn't know how to describe it, but I think they are ADHD or autistic. She told me she wants to help them and be their friends because nobody in the class wants to be their friends. I was really very proud of her and frankly the last thing on my mind was if it'll affect her learning.

Empathy is something that has to be inculcated from young so that it will become part of the child's nature. I would be proud of your daughter too, if I am you. You did good as a parent.

Yes, the girl has a kind heart. Dora, you are fortunate to have such a child. She will be a filial daughter when she grows

[insider]

pirate:

On a different and slightly :offtopic: note, we got so many scholars meh? Can take up 80%-90% of a course?!

She is in UK and so the 'coursemates' are referring to the Singaporean kids who are mostly scholars...

She is funded by family coz of my reluctance to have her bonded. If she is among one of the scholars, I wonder whether she will also behave like one of the them.

People like her (so far I know of only one more non-scholar Singaporean kid among her coursemates/schoolmates/hallmates) who are not scholars are in an 'advantage' among the pack coz such post no 'threats' to the scholars at all in terms of 'in search of excellence'.

So, she has many 'friends'...(she said she feels very 'chuan' (pant...pant...pant...) for the scholars coz they really 拼命 in their pursuits towards being the best of the best.

How much life has been 'wasted' during those three - four years as a youngster who is supposed to be in one of the best parts of their lives?)

[janet88]

Mind stretcher = stretch mind...stretch how much? :rotflmao:

[pirate]

insider:

She is in UK and so the 'coursemates' are referring to the Singaporean kids who are mostly scholars...


She is funded by family coz of my reluctance to have her bonded. If she is among one of the scholars, I wonder whether she will also behave like one of the them.

People like her (so far I know of only one more non-scholar Singaporean kid among her coursemates/schoolmates/hallmates) who are not scholars are in an 'advantage' among the pack coz such post no 'threats' to the scholars at all in terms of 'in search of excellence'.

So, she has many 'friends'...(she said she feels very 'chuan' (pant...pant...pant...) for the scholars coz they really 拼命 in their pursuits towards being the best of the best.

How much life has been 'wasted' during those three - four years as a youngster who is supposed to be in one of the best parts of their lives?)

I see. Those scholars are under a lot of stress because they are expected to get at least an Upper Second. It can be demoralizing for them because all along they have been used to being the big fish, and suddenly finding out that there a lot of other big and bigger fishes around. Some do not adjust well to becoming 'average' (or even 'below average') after having been 'top' throughout their school lives.

It's also a bit sad for those scholars who behave that way. Don't they know that PSC also recruits directly from those universities? Same accelerated career tracks as scholars, because otherwise any time can jump ship to private sector as not bonded!

If want to borrow notes, can borrow from the Brits, Hong Kongers, Malaysians etc. But cannot borrow from the likes of me... who hardly attended any lectures!

It's a big, big world out there. All the more reason why as parents we should try to ensure that our kids don't just hang out with a tiny circle of similar 'intelligent' kids. I personally feel that the main education one gets over there is a sense of how big the world is outside Singapore. That, and learning to be independent.

[sinoboy]

pirate:

insider:

She is in UK and so the 'coursemates' are referring to the Singaporean kids who are mostly scholars...


She is funded by family coz of my reluctance to have her bonded. If she is among one of the scholars, I wonder whether she will also behave like one of the them.

People like her (so far I know of only one more non-scholar Singaporean kid among her coursemates/schoolmates/hallmates) who are not scholars are in an 'advantage' among the pack coz such post no 'threats' to the scholars at all in terms of 'in search of excellence'.

So, she has many 'friends'...(she said she feels very 'chuan' (pant...pant...pant...) for the scholars coz they really 拼命 in their pursuits towards being the best of the best.

How much life has been 'wasted' during those three - four years as a youngster who is supposed to be in one of the best parts of their lives?)

I see. Those scholars are under a lot of stress because they are expected to get at least an Upper Second. It can be demoralizing for them because all along they have been used to being the big fish, and suddenly finding out that there a lot of other big and bigger fishes around. Some do not adjust well to becoming 'average' (or even 'below average') after having been 'top' throughout their school lives.

It's also a bit sad for those scholars who behave that way. Don't they know that PSC also recruits directly from those universities? Same accelerated career tracks as scholars, because otherwise any time can jump ship to private sector as not bonded!

If want to borrow notes, can borrow from the Brits, Hong Kongers, Malaysians etc. But cannot borrow from the likes of me... who hardly attended any lectures!

It's a big, big world out there. All the more reason why as parents we should try to ensure that our kids don't just hang out with a tiny circle of similar 'intelligent' kids. I personally feel that the main education one gets over there is a sense of how big the world is outside Singapore. That, and learning to be independent.

Really envious of people who can choose between getting a scholarship or get funded by family in order not to be bonded. I studied pretty hard as well but somehow did not really make the cut and my parents couldn't afford to fund my overseas education. So LL got to see my friends and classmates happily get real or father-mother scholarships and happily studying overseas and hanging out with intelligent and wise folks. :sad:

[sharonkhoo]

sinoboy:

... happily studying overseas and hanging out with intelligent and wise folks. :sad:

There are plenty of intelligent and wise folk in Singapore too, and speaking from experience, there are many unintelligent and unwise folk overseas, even in the top universities. Make the best of what you have and don't get upset about what you can't have.