Hanging out with intelligent friends makes children smarter

[janet88]

hi sinoboy,

since you have the opportunity to study overseas, make the most and best out of it…bcos not everyone has this chance…many are facing a tough and competitive environment here…but still have to plod.
i wish you all the best in your future. be happy ok?

[KSP]

back to the topic \"Hanging out with intelligent friends makes children smarter\"


yes, i agree coz 近朱者赤,近墨者黑

[insider]

Perhaps can ponder about 孔子’s words when deciding on friends:


古有朋友，(friends are made up of)
三益三损。 (3 good types and 3 bad)
友直、友谅、友多闻，为益； (upright, benevolent, knowledgeable = good)
友便辟、友善柔、友便佞，为损。(bad temper, undecisive, schemeful = bad).

So, it doesnt matter whether ‘smarter’ or ‘not smarter’. As long as the person can be one of the 三益 = can hang around even ‘not smart’. If smart but belongs to one of the 三损, then should maybe siam…

Those scholars whom I mentioned in my earlier post. They gave me a feeling of 见高就拜、见底就踩 - not that kind of friends whom I want my kid to be friend with…

PS:
Some gangsters are more helpful to friends when friends need help as compared to those selfish ‘smart’ ones. Preferably to have a mixture of friends from all walks of life…

[vinegar]

slmkhoo:

I'm sorry you sound so dissatisfied with your situation. Studying overseas is a great experience, but it doesn't mean that you are irretrievably short-changed if you can't have that experience. And as you so rightly say, you don't escape kiasuism by going overseas. As you are probably about 30yrs younger than I am, would you let me repeat my suggestion? Make the most of what you have rather than spend too much time wishing for what you don't have. Don't waste your youth being miserable. Happiness is determined more by attitude than circumstance.

Slmkhoo,
U nvr fail to surprise me wf ur advices. I guess what u mean is to be contented wf what we've?

[sharonkhoo]

vinegar:

slmkhoo:

I'm sorry you sound so dissatisfied with your situation. Studying overseas is a great experience, but it doesn't mean that you are irretrievably short-changed if you can't have that experience. And as you so rightly say, you don't escape kiasuism by going overseas. As you are probably about 30yrs younger than I am, would you let me repeat my suggestion? Make the most of what you have rather than spend too much time wishing for what you don't have. Don't waste your youth being miserable. Happiness is determined more by attitude than circumstance.

Slmkhoo,
U nvr fail to surprise me wf ur advices. I guess what u mean is to be contented wf what we've?

Yes. It's a fine line to tread between being contented and having no drive to do anything though, and it's something we have to learn and teach our kids too. I know someone who reached retirement age still harping on the fact that he chose the 'wrong' course in university which is why his house and bank account are smaller than the 'less intelligent' ones who chose the 'right' course! What a waste of 40 years.

[sinoboy]

janet_lee88:

hi sinoboy,

since you have the opportunity to study overseas, make the most and best out of it...bcos not everyone has this chance...many are facing a tough and competitive environment here...but still have to plod.
i wish you all the best in your future. be happy ok?

I'll study hard if I'm given the opportunity. Higher chance of mixing with the right kind of wealthy smart people. Better still find a suitable ang mo partner and settle down there. Somehow folks with ang mo spouses looks more intelligent. Perhaps that's why so many of our local artistes aspire to have ang mo boyfriends. As for my overseas studies it's still a dream, but happy thinking about it. :sad:

[sharonkhoo]

sinoboy:

I'll study hard if I'm given the opportunity. Higher chance of mixing with the right kind of wealthy smart people. Better still find a suitable ang mo partner and settle down there. Somehow folks with ang mo spouses looks more intelligent. Perhaps that's why so many of our local artistes aspire to have ang mo boyfriends. As for my overseas studies it's still a dream, but happy thinking about it. :sad:

Do you genuinely hold these views? I am beginning to wonder if you are just making these statements to see what reactions you get. If you are serious, do go and find some wise people (in Singapore, no need to go overseas) and discuss these issues.

[sinoboy]

slmkhoo:

sinoboy:

I'll study hard if I'm given the opportunity. Higher chance of mixing with the right kind of wealthy smart people. Better still find a suitable ang mo partner and settle down there. Somehow folks with ang mo spouses looks more intelligent. Perhaps that's why so many of our local artistes aspire to have ang mo boyfriends. As for my overseas studies it's still a dream, but happy thinking about it. :sad:

Do you genuinely hold these views? I am beginning to wonder if you are just making these statements to see what reactions you get. If you are serious, do go and find some wise people (in Singapore, no need to go overseas) and discuss these issues.

Is it wrong to hold such views? I don't think that a view that increases my chances of survival and success in a competitive society like Singapore is wrong. Why are parents sending their kids overseas for education? Why not study in local uni? Why overseas scholarships are more valued than local ones (that is if local ones are considered scholarship)? Wonder what the wiser parents here would think. :scratchhead:

[sharonkhoo]

sinoboy:

slmkhoo:

[quote=\"sinoboy\"]I'll study hard if I'm given the opportunity. Higher chance of mixing with the right kind of wealthy smart people. Better still find a suitable ang mo partner and settle down there. Somehow folks with ang mo spouses looks more intelligent. Perhaps that's why so many of our local artistes aspire to have ang mo boyfriends. As for my overseas studies it's still a dream, but happy thinking about it. :sad:

Do you genuinely hold these views? I am beginning to wonder if you are just making these statements to see what reactions you get. If you are serious, do go and find some wise people (in Singapore, no need to go overseas) and discuss these issues.

Is it wrong to hold such views? I don't think that a view that increases my chances of survival and success in a competitive society like Singapore is wrong. Why are parents sending their kids overseas for education? Why not study in local uni? Why overseas scholarships are more valued than local ones (that is if local ones are considered scholarship)? Wonder what the wiser parents here would think. :scratchhead:[/quote]I wouldn't go so far as to say you are 'wrong' as you are entitled to have your views, but I certainly disagree. As a parent, if I do eventually let a child of mine go overseas to study, the reason will be to have wider exposure to the world, not to hang out with \"wealthy smart people\" of which there are plenty in Singapore already. Overseas scholarships are more valued probably because they have a higher dollar value and provide opportunities that most families can't afford. Your views MAY increase your chances of success and survival, but they are also likely to cause you to be overly stressed and dissatisfied with your life. You will miss out on a lot of happiness.

And your view on people with ang moh spouses just leaves me speechless!

[sinoboy]

slmkhoo:

sinoboy:

[quote=\"slmkhoo\"]
Do you genuinely hold these views? I am beginning to wonder if you are just making these statements to see what reactions you get. If you are serious, do go and find some wise people (in Singapore, no need to go overseas) and discuss these issues.

Is it wrong to hold such views? I don't think that a view that increases my chances of survival and success in a competitive society like Singapore is wrong. Why are parents sending their kids overseas for education? Why not study in local uni? Why overseas scholarships are more valued than local ones (that is if local ones are considered scholarship)? Wonder what the wiser parents here would think. :scratchhead:

I wouldn't go so far as to say you are 'wrong' as you are entitled to have your views, but I certainly disagree. As a parent, if I do eventually let a child of mine go overseas to study, the reason will be to have wider exposure to the world, not to hang out with \"wealthy smart people\" of which there are plenty in Singapore already. Overseas scholarships are more valued probably because they have a higher dollar value and provide opportunities that most families can't afford. Your views MAY increase your chances of success and survival, but they are also likely to cause you to be overly stressed and dissatisfied with your life. You will miss out on a lot of happiness.

And your view on people with ang moh spouses just leaves me speechless![/quote]Well you should be thankful that most people have similar thoughts like mine and that your children didn't hang out with kids with little intelligence, wisdom and means like me. Could lower their chances of studying overseas and missing out on exposure and better career opportunities, unable to climb further up the social ladder and got to live with regret for a long time after that. :lightrod: