Hanging out with intelligent friends makes children smarter

[sharonkhoo]

vinegar:

slmkhoo:

I'm sorry you sound so dissatisfied with your situation. Studying overseas is a great experience, but it doesn't mean that you are irretrievably short-changed if you can't have that experience. And as you so rightly say, you don't escape kiasuism by going overseas. As you are probably about 30yrs younger than I am, would you let me repeat my suggestion? Make the most of what you have rather than spend too much time wishing for what you don't have. Don't waste your youth being miserable. Happiness is determined more by attitude than circumstance.

Slmkhoo,
U nvr fail to surprise me wf ur advices. I guess what u mean is to be contented wf what we've?

Yes. It's a fine line to tread between being contented and having no drive to do anything though, and it's something we have to learn and teach our kids too. I know someone who reached retirement age still harping on the fact that he chose the 'wrong' course in university which is why his house and bank account are smaller than the 'less intelligent' ones who chose the 'right' course! What a waste of 40 years.

[sinoboy]

janet_lee88:

hi sinoboy,

since you have the opportunity to study overseas, make the most and best out of it...bcos not everyone has this chance...many are facing a tough and competitive environment here...but still have to plod.
i wish you all the best in your future. be happy ok?

I'll study hard if I'm given the opportunity. Higher chance of mixing with the right kind of wealthy smart people. Better still find a suitable ang mo partner and settle down there. Somehow folks with ang mo spouses looks more intelligent. Perhaps that's why so many of our local artistes aspire to have ang mo boyfriends. As for my overseas studies it's still a dream, but happy thinking about it. :sad:

[sharonkhoo]

sinoboy:

I'll study hard if I'm given the opportunity. Higher chance of mixing with the right kind of wealthy smart people. Better still find a suitable ang mo partner and settle down there. Somehow folks with ang mo spouses looks more intelligent. Perhaps that's why so many of our local artistes aspire to have ang mo boyfriends. As for my overseas studies it's still a dream, but happy thinking about it. :sad:

Do you genuinely hold these views? I am beginning to wonder if you are just making these statements to see what reactions you get. If you are serious, do go and find some wise people (in Singapore, no need to go overseas) and discuss these issues.

[sinoboy]

slmkhoo:

sinoboy:

I'll study hard if I'm given the opportunity. Higher chance of mixing with the right kind of wealthy smart people. Better still find a suitable ang mo partner and settle down there. Somehow folks with ang mo spouses looks more intelligent. Perhaps that's why so many of our local artistes aspire to have ang mo boyfriends. As for my overseas studies it's still a dream, but happy thinking about it. :sad:

Do you genuinely hold these views? I am beginning to wonder if you are just making these statements to see what reactions you get. If you are serious, do go and find some wise people (in Singapore, no need to go overseas) and discuss these issues.

Is it wrong to hold such views? I don't think that a view that increases my chances of survival and success in a competitive society like Singapore is wrong. Why are parents sending their kids overseas for education? Why not study in local uni? Why overseas scholarships are more valued than local ones (that is if local ones are considered scholarship)? Wonder what the wiser parents here would think. :scratchhead:

[sharonkhoo]

sinoboy:

slmkhoo:

[quote=\"sinoboy\"]I'll study hard if I'm given the opportunity. Higher chance of mixing with the right kind of wealthy smart people. Better still find a suitable ang mo partner and settle down there. Somehow folks with ang mo spouses looks more intelligent. Perhaps that's why so many of our local artistes aspire to have ang mo boyfriends. As for my overseas studies it's still a dream, but happy thinking about it. :sad:

Do you genuinely hold these views? I am beginning to wonder if you are just making these statements to see what reactions you get. If you are serious, do go and find some wise people (in Singapore, no need to go overseas) and discuss these issues.

Is it wrong to hold such views? I don't think that a view that increases my chances of survival and success in a competitive society like Singapore is wrong. Why are parents sending their kids overseas for education? Why not study in local uni? Why overseas scholarships are more valued than local ones (that is if local ones are considered scholarship)? Wonder what the wiser parents here would think. :scratchhead:[/quote]I wouldn't go so far as to say you are 'wrong' as you are entitled to have your views, but I certainly disagree. As a parent, if I do eventually let a child of mine go overseas to study, the reason will be to have wider exposure to the world, not to hang out with \"wealthy smart people\" of which there are plenty in Singapore already. Overseas scholarships are more valued probably because they have a higher dollar value and provide opportunities that most families can't afford. Your views MAY increase your chances of success and survival, but they are also likely to cause you to be overly stressed and dissatisfied with your life. You will miss out on a lot of happiness.

And your view on people with ang moh spouses just leaves me speechless!

[sinoboy]

slmkhoo:

sinoboy:

[quote=\"slmkhoo\"]
Do you genuinely hold these views? I am beginning to wonder if you are just making these statements to see what reactions you get. If you are serious, do go and find some wise people (in Singapore, no need to go overseas) and discuss these issues.

Is it wrong to hold such views? I don't think that a view that increases my chances of survival and success in a competitive society like Singapore is wrong. Why are parents sending their kids overseas for education? Why not study in local uni? Why overseas scholarships are more valued than local ones (that is if local ones are considered scholarship)? Wonder what the wiser parents here would think. :scratchhead:

I wouldn't go so far as to say you are 'wrong' as you are entitled to have your views, but I certainly disagree. As a parent, if I do eventually let a child of mine go overseas to study, the reason will be to have wider exposure to the world, not to hang out with \"wealthy smart people\" of which there are plenty in Singapore already. Overseas scholarships are more valued probably because they have a higher dollar value and provide opportunities that most families can't afford. Your views MAY increase your chances of success and survival, but they are also likely to cause you to be overly stressed and dissatisfied with your life. You will miss out on a lot of happiness.

And your view on people with ang moh spouses just leaves me speechless![/quote]Well you should be thankful that most people have similar thoughts like mine and that your children didn't hang out with kids with little intelligence, wisdom and means like me. Could lower their chances of studying overseas and missing out on exposure and better career opportunities, unable to climb further up the social ladder and got to live with regret for a long time after that. :lightrod:

[sharonkhoo]

sinoboy:

Well you should be thankful that most people have similar thoughts like mine and that your children didn't hang out with kids with little intelligence, wisdom and means like me. Could lower their chances of studying overseas and missing out on exposure and better career opportunities, unable to climb further up the social ladder and got to live with regret for a long time after that. :lightrod:

I wonder how you know who my kids hang out with? I don't know the intelligence and wisdom of those friends, but I do know for a fact that many of them have limited means (like us!). I can assure you that my kids will not be able to study overseas at university level unless they get a scholarship, and at least one of them has doubts about even qualifying for university, let alone getting a scholarship. As a mother, I work at bolstering her confidence in her future, that even without a degree, she can find work she likes doing, live within her means, and life can be meaningful even if she doesn't climb the 'social ladder'. I see nothing to be thankful about if so many focus so much on career and social advancement as I think they are missing out on a lot of happiness and satisfaction. Still, you are as entitled to your views as I am to mine.

[keroppi]

slmkhoo:

As a mother, I work at bolstering her confidence in her future, that even without a degree, she can find work she likes doing, live within her means, and life can be meaningful even if she doesn't climb the 'social ladder'. I see nothing to be thankful about if so many focus so much on career and social advancement as I think they are missing out on a lot of happiness and satisfaction. Still, you are as entitled to your views as I am to mine.

:goodpost: :udawoman:

[sunflower]

One’s life experiences will usually shape how one views the world. Most women (esp mothers) usually view things differently from men. Remember? Men are from Mars and women are from Venus? Also, some SAHM are relatively sheltered and more nurturing in nature and hence, they may see things from a different perspective.


My guess is that sinoboy may be in an industry with many of such cases that he described and is seeing the reality of what’s actually happening, hence making him feel shortchanged and in denial.

All I can say is that it’s a big patch of 无明 (as explained by insider), which until it is removed, it’ll be difficult to see the light of day.

[Irrelevant]

slmkhoo:

I wonder how you know who my kids hang out with? I don't know the intelligence and wisdom of those friends, but I do know for a fact that many of them have limited means (like us!). I can assure you that my kids will not be able to study overseas at university level unless they get a scholarship, and at least one of them has doubts about even qualifying for university, let alone getting a scholarship. As a mother, I work at bolstering her confidence in her future, that even without a degree, she can find work she likes doing, live within her means, and life can be meaningful even if she doesn't climb the 'social ladder'. I see nothing to be thankful about if so many focus so much on career and social advancement as I think they are missing out on a lot of happiness and satisfaction. Still, you are as entitled to your views as I am to mine.

slmkhoo

Sinoboy certainly sounds like a bitter young man. I think that you are giving very good advice to the young man. :salute: Don't have to feel too upset with him. Maybe he is a better candidate for experiential learning? Hopefully, with the benefit of more exposure and life experience, he won't become a bitter old man.:nailbite: