Hanging out with intelligent friends makes children smarter

[sharonkhoo]

Irrelevant:

slmkhoo:

I wonder how you know who my kids hang out with? I don't know the intelligence and wisdom of those friends, but I do know for a fact that many of them have limited means (like us!). I can assure you that my kids will not be able to study overseas at university level unless they get a scholarship, and at least one of them has doubts about even qualifying for university, let alone getting a scholarship. As a mother, I work at bolstering her confidence in her future, that even without a degree, she can find work she likes doing, live within her means, and life can be meaningful even if she doesn't climb the 'social ladder'. I see nothing to be thankful about if so many focus so much on career and social advancement as I think they are missing out on a lot of happiness and satisfaction. Still, you are as entitled to your views as I am to mine.

slmkhoo

Sinoboy certainly sounds like a bitter young man. I think that you are giving very good advice to the young man. :salute: Don't have to feel too upset with him. Maybe he is a better candidate for experiential learning? Hopefully, with the benefit of more exposure and life experience, he won't become a bitter old man.:nailbite:

I am not upset with him, but feel sad that he feels this way, and if he is correct, that many feel that way too. Yes, I hope he will change his views with time.

[fable]

Isn’t "smartness" nature? i.e. what you’re born with? If all kids are taught the same way (I know this doesn’t happen, just holding this constant for more meaning comparison), then I’d imagine how well a person does academically would be determined by

1) inherent "smartness"
2) attitude, and
3) parental support

I think friends can certainly influence the child’s attitude (positive vs negative peer pressure). e.g, my son was just telling me that his (P2) teacher was asking for volunteers to do some activity, and most of his classmates put up their hands. His friends also have an informal 满分 club which they can be part of if they get 满分 for their tests.

Are his friends smarter? I don’t know. But it certainly gets him to focus on trying his best.

But attitude also has to do with how they treat each other; about being considerate, polite, kind, tolerant.

Even for me as an adult, sometimes I meet with some friends who are very successful, and all they talk about are material things - cars, houses, holidays, who got a bigger bonus. By the end of the evening, its hard not to feel dissatisfied with what I have, even though logically I know that I have more than most and that I am happy.

[Mawar]

I have a few cliques of friends from school, work and leisure. I gravitate towards those who make me feel recharged, positive and happy after each gathering. We bounce off positive energy and go back to our routine rejuvenated. I try to minimize meeting people who are negative and competitive. I don’t want to leave the gathering feeling small and low.


These friends come from all walks of life and in all shapes and sizes. Intelligence and material success is not part of the equation. The happy ones are grateful and are usually most willing to share their half full cup, the negative ones usually complain about their half empty cup.

[sinoboy]

slmkhoo:

Irrelevant:

slmkhoo

Sinoboy certainly sounds like a bitter young man. I think that you are giving very good advice to the young man. :salute: Don't have to feel too upset with him. Maybe he is a better candidate for experiential learning? Hopefully, with the benefit of more exposure and life experience, he won't become a bitter old man.:nailbite:

I am not upset with him, but feel sad that he feels this way, and if he is correct, that many feel that way too. Yes, I hope he will change his views with time.

Why change my view when my bosses and other company bosses thinks that people and degrees from overseas more intelligent than local ones? More important higher pay positions goes to these seemingly smarter people with perceived higher social standing. I also have aspiration to own car, house and start family have kids but I can't achieve without a decent minimum affordability. Can't fault me to think 'overseas better' or 'climb higher social status' when cash flow and life are easier for these smarter people right? Role model like our gov bank chief also not local. Why change my view when it's the reality. At least I am not like some smart people I know who think that being ah Kua or idolize gangnam Psy is more fashionable and will appear higher class and more intelligent. :siao:

[Coolkidsrock2]

sinoboy:

slmkhoo:

[quote=\"Irrelevant\"]
slmkhoo

Sinoboy certainly sounds like a bitter young man. I think that you are giving very good advice to the young man. :salute: Don't have to feel too upset with him. Maybe he is a better candidate for experiential learning? Hopefully, with the benefit of more exposure and life experience, he won't become a bitter old man.:nailbite:

I am not upset with him, but feel sad that he feels this way, and if he is correct, that many feel that way too. Yes, I hope he will change his views with time.

Why change my view when my bosses and other company bosses thinks that people and degrees from overseas more intelligent than local ones? More important higher pay positions goes to these seemingly smarter people with perceived higher social standing. I also have aspiration to own car, house and start family have kids but I can't achieve without a decent minimum affordability. Can't fault me to think 'overseas better' or 'climb higher social status' when cash flow and life are easier for these smarter people right? Role model like our gov bank chief also not local. Why change my view when it's the reality. At least I am not like some smart people I know who think that being ah Kua or idolize gangnam Psy is more fashionable and will appear higher class and more intelligent. :siao:[/quote]You sound very disgruntled and am not sure the basis of this impression. In the last 12 years or so, there was never a discussion on my academic/professional qualifications in my job interviews. What was being assessed is my \"cultural fit\" with the company and the people whom I will be working with. I know for a fact that in my job search, there were candidates better qualified or cheaper than me, but I landed the job because I \"fitted\" the cultural better.

In fact, the same was reiterated by headhunters. Every candidate has nearly the same technical knowledge, it is the cultural fit that determines which of the candidate who will get the job.

[sinoboy]

Coolkidsrock2:

sinoboy:

Why change my view when my bosses and other company bosses thinks that people and degrees from overseas more intelligent than local ones? More important higher pay positions goes to these seemingly smarter people with perceived higher social standing. I also have aspiration to own car, house and start family have kids but I can't achieve without a decent minimum affordability. Can't fault me to think 'overseas better' or 'climb higher social status' when cash flow and life are easier for these smarter people right? Role model like our gov bank chief also not local. Why change my view when it's the reality. At least I am not like some smart people I know who think that being ah Kua or idolize gangnam Psy is more fashionable and will appear higher class and more intelligent. :siao:

You sound very disgruntled and am not sure the basis of this impression. In the last 12 years or so, there was never a discussion on my academic/professional qualifications in my job interviews. What was being assessed is my \"cultural fit\" with the company and the people whom I will be working with. I know for a fact that in my job search, there were candidates better qualified or cheaper than me, but I landed the job because I \"fitted\" the cultural better.

In fact, the same was reiterated by headhunters. Every candidate has nearly the same technical knowledge, it is the cultural fit that determines which of the candidate who will get the job.

Well I'll make an intelligent guess and say that you are not working in a local company. Foreign firms may have off limit topics during job interviews or even application forms which may be construed as discriminatory. Yes perhaps I hung around smart kids when I was young and ended up with a competitive nature. I'm no yes man so it's easy to brand me a cultural misfit. Too on the ball and people will complain I'm too aggressive, too passive people and I'm slack and better buck up if not people are lining up outside to replace me. I've learnt to be smarter from my overseas trained colleagues and talk more in an intelligent way so that work less. Agree somewhat that fitting into a corporate culture helps my survival and promotion.

[Joule]

sinoboy:

Coolkidsrock2:

[quote=\"sinoboy\"]
[color=#0000FF]Why change my view when my bosses and other company bosses thinks that people and degrees from overseas more intelligent than local ones?

You sound very disgruntled and am not sure the basis of this impression. In the last 12 years or so, there was never a discussion on my academic/professional qualifications in my job interviews. What was being assessed is my \"cultural fit\" with the company and the people whom I will be working with. I know for a fact that in my job search, there were candidates better qualified or cheaper than me, but I landed the job because I \"fitted\" the cultural better.

In fact, the same was reiterated by headhunters. Every candidate has nearly the same technical knowledge, it is the cultural fit that determines which of the candidate who will get the job.

Well I'll make an intelligent guess and say that you are not working in a local company. Foreign firms may have off limit topics during job interviews or even application forms which may be construed as discriminatory. Yes perhaps I hung around smart kids when I was young and ended up with a competitive nature. I'm no yes man so it's easy to brand me a cultural misfit. Too on the ball and people will complain I'm too aggressive, too passive people and I'm slack and better buck up if not people are lining up outside to replace me. I've learnt to be smarter from my overseas trained colleagues and talk more in an intelligent way so that work less. Agree somewhat that fitting into a corporate culture helps my survival and promotion. [/quote]

hi brother

hope you're not so intense and angsty at work, man

and yes, I agree that really, especially in govt and stat boards, the overseas scholars get promoted first.

It's quite annoying, really

part of climbing corporate ladder is also waiting in the background for your enemies to burn out because they burnt their candle at both ends

[Coolkidsrock2]

I had worked in local firms previously but not currently. Not sure your definition of agressive but I had experienced tables being banged on and screaming matches at work. But it is all about work, nothing personal.


There are also local grads with high EQ as well as capacity for work and they are recognised for it.

[ChiefKiasu]

Joule:

...

and yes, I agree that really, especially in govt and stat boards, the overseas scholars get promoted first.
...

Perhaps we need to temper our observations with the fact that overseas scholars probably have more to prove to themselves and therefore work harder, which naturally means that they would seem to be more competent for that promotion. Unless, of course, we feel that they don't deserve the promotion because they are less capable than others?

[Coolkidsrock2]

But it is a fact of life that we will always feel that there are people who do not deserve to be promoted are promoted and it happens year in, year out.