Having an Autistic Brother

[Tamama]

Hi ImMeemee, luvmum,

My cheeky young man is 5 now. Same as luvmum’s boy he is due to register for the p1 next year.
I work as parent volunteer for my elder girls school (local school). Frankly speaking, after I helped during the first few days of this new school year and observed all the p1 kids, I don’t have the confident that my cheeky young man will fit into the environment. Not mentioning his weakness in writing skill.
I have discussed this issue with the child developmental unit doctor and she suggested us to defer a year for him. She knows that my boy is attending aba from Monday to Wednesday morning, and going to a special preschool on Thursday and Friday morning. She understands his preschool is kind of helping him to improve academic skill. So she suggested us to let him stay there (for higher chance he can be included in the mainstream class next year) to develop his skill some more before he goes to p1. I am a bit reluctant, but I understand more time to prep him would be better. She will help us write the letter to moe to explain his condition to the school so he can register one year later.
Other choices are private schools,but with the long queue and huge school fee, we are in no favour of choosing them. I thought of homeschool. I love the concept. I just did not find out more yet. I am new to Singapore so I will need to sort out things like if homeschooling for primary level, secondary level is accepted or not. I think you will agree that a special needs kid has different learning ways, homeschooling has great benefits for them indeed. Well I don’t know, I will see how things going first.
Glad to know that so many parents here support their precious special needs kids so much.

[Tamama]

Luvmum,

Your boy going to any school now or not? They teach Chinese?
I don't know if my boy can cope with Chinese or not in future. We don't speak Mandarin Chinese at home as well. But I just want him to try first. So I send him to a small Chinese enrichment centre and register him to n2 level. He learn from the basics. I go through the words taught everyday with him (mon to fri only, sat and sun are crazy time for us). Each revision is so short that his attention span is enough. We just start this beginning of the year. So far he memorises well. During the 1 1/2hour lesson he is not quite attentive as expected. He wanders sometimes. But since the centre is small and only 6 kids there, more teachers attention he will gain.
He did express dislike to go to the Chinese lesson. I link the lesson up with ice-cream or a small fries after the lesson finished, so he is so happy to go to the lesson now. Tricky mummy...
I think it would be too early to say he can or cannot learn Chinese at this moment. Wait for a year of learning then from there I can have a clearer idea. May be you can let your boy try first?
Never say never. Cheers! :please:

[luvmum]

Hi Tamama,


My boy is at mainstream kindergarten so chinese is taught in school. To supplement on his chinese competency, I send him to a chinese enrichment school (berries). He has been there for 3 years since N2. Teacher has been patient and good to him. He has no prob reading the texts but it’s the writing part. I need to teach him like 4 days in advance so that he is able to write in class. Sometimes he can write well, other times can’t even figure out what is he writing. He has little retention. For instance, the word I in chinese (wo), he has written that for umpteen times but still if out of the blue I ask him to write and show me, he can’t. Of course if I go thr with him, he can pick up quite fast.

He has a hundred and one thing to improve on so MT is really the first that I consider to opt out. life Journey is seriously very tough for him and me. Constant reminders on myself not to give him up but at times the harsh educational system, judgemental views of his teachers and unwelcome remarks really drag you down and make you feel lousy.

And yes, I did volunteering work in his prospective pri school too. Looking at the daily working, socialising and independency of the pri school kids, I just feel it’s out of the place for my child who still need a lot of help.

[ImMeeMee]

luvmum:

Hi Tamama,


My boy is at mainstream kindergarten so chinese is taught in school. To supplement on his chinese competency, I send him to a chinese enrichment school (berries). He has been there for 3 years since N2. Teacher has been patient and good to him. He has no prob reading the texts but it's the writing part. I need to teach him like 4 days in advance so that he is able to write in class. Sometimes he can write well, other times can't even figure out what is he writing. He has little retention. For instance, the word I in chinese (wo), he has written that for umpteen times but still if out of the blue I ask him to write and show me, he can't. Of course if I go thr with him, he can pick up quite fast.

He has a hundred and one thing to improve on so MT is really the first that I consider to opt out. life Journey is seriously very tough for him and me. Constant reminders on myself not to give him up but at times the harsh educational system, judgemental views of his teachers and unwelcome remarks really drag you down and make you feel lousy.

And yes, I did volunteering work in his prospective pri school too. Looking at the daily working, socialising and independency of the pri school kids, I just feel it's out of the place for my child who still need a lot of help.

luvmum, I too do not coach my doter much on Chinese, for the same reasons of juggling various priorities, even though I would love to. I hope that one day when she is older we could somehow find a way to catch up. Even if its just conversational for her to understand and speak some of the language to enable her to function in daily life would be an achievement.

There are currently a few educational routes for our kids. Don't despair. There is a lot of discussion on school placement options for ASD kids at this forum. You may like to do a search for the information.

Hope you sort out your thoughts soon.

[Double E]

Phil4v8

Great seeing you here cos I have a copy of your book too and I put in at my bed side and read it from time to time to remind myself that I am not alone. Actually, I am your fan. Haha! Cos I will try to read all interviews (print or TV) about you and your boy. I think is very brave of you to put yourself in public but we definitely need more parents like you who are not afraid to share your struggles so that more people will learn about Autism. I hope I have the courage to do the same.

Tamama, my boy who has Autism in fact love books more than his sister who is NT. In fact, my gal will ‘copy’ her brother and start asking for a book when she sees her brother reading one.

[Phil4v8]

Hi Double E, thank you for your encouraging words. Our journey is not easy but if we stay positive, it can be very enriching. Press on!

[florencetks]

Hi Ladies,


I have also discovered not long ago that my younger son has mild autism and I can relate to all of your stories due to all the similarities that were being discussed in this thread.

Phil4v8 - I chanced upon your write-up in kiasuparents, it is very well written and it is so true that the sibling benefits from having a special needs bro/sis coz they grow up to become more compassionate, I see this in my older girl but I also notice her resentment at times when she has to give in to her brother all the time.

This is going to be a long journey with my boy, now I worry about whether he can go to mainstream school, how he is going to grow up. Will my older gal have to take care of him later on in life…etc…

Anyone did EIPIC program? Is it helpful?

[Phil4v8]

Hi Florence, thank you for your encouragement. I have compiled a book of 31 autism stories in Singapore. If you have yet to read it, can find out more on http://www.come-into-my-world.com . Yes, my girl gets fed up sometimes having to give in to her brother. Once she exclaimed, \"I wish I am autistic!\" Regarding EIPIC, my boy has enjoyed and benefited from Eden Children's Centre (Simei).

[florencetks]

Hi,


Parents like us all need alot of encouragement! I’ll get your book!!

[Phil4v8]

Feel free to give me your feedback on the book. : )