don't really know how to talk to wife

[Jennifer]

Nebbermind:

And if he is fixing something, donch ever ask 'are you sure you knowing how to do it?', even if it looks destined to fail. Donch ever hurt his ego coz he was confident before he started and already very pissed when he can't get it right. Just repackage it to 'let me know if you need help'

this reminds me of hubby taking the dimensions of x and cutting y, the job finally rightly done after wasting 2 pieces of y due to wrong measurements of x.

[Jennifer]

sleepy:

Words of affirmation. I feel that men are like children. All children want to be good in their parents eyes. So as husbands, subconsciously they do want to please their wives too. With words of affirmation, they know they are pleasing you and will continue with their effort.


Give him full attention when he's talking. Can be about his day at work, his golf game, his newly acquired abs, whatever topic. Look for opportunities to say something positive. That way, he will always be eager to share about his day with me & I won't be left out of his life
Say for instance dh got 2 birdies and a par at this recent golf session & I look at him admirably & go 'wow, you played so well' something along that line la.
Say for instance dh tried a new restaurant with his colleagues and brought me there to try subsequently. Show appreciation like 'oh, the ambience is so nice here' even if the food is only not as great as I thought. Get my drift? Basically refrain from 波冷水

Words of affirmation must be coupled with physical touch, plenty of physical touch.

Say for instance when drinking coffee or having meals, I always choose to sit next to him if the restaurant seating allows. Then while we're having a conversation, I can trace my finger along his forearm or caress his cheek at the same time.

Don't be afraid to act spoiled and childish with him.
Say for instance while he's standing at the kitchen basin washing dishes, I will hug his back (physical touch) and say thank you for helping with the dishes (words of affirmation), plant a kiss (physcial touch) at his back and then bounce back to my room to continue surfing kiasuparents Or demand him to 抱抱 while he's in the middle of making milk for kids or during tv commerical breaks or even interrupt him when he's playing games on his windows phone.

Not one-off thingy. I do that all year round. Give him plenty of attention.

And when he's blissfully happy, he won't find faults with me. Even my tardiness and lack of domestic skills are kind cute and adorable in his eyes. Oh, & what comes naturally too is - my wish is his command :please:

Hm, I check with him tonight to see which ones are acceptable to him :rotflmao:

BUT very likely the last sentence \"my wish is his command\" will be rejected :rotflmao:

[BeContented]

Nebbermind:

Donch ask him something and after he responded, you reply 'are you sure?'. If you are not going to believe him, donch ask!


And if he is fixing something, donch ever ask 'are you sure you knowing how to do it?', even if it looks destined to fail. Donch ever hurt his ego coz he was confident before he started and already very pissed when he can't get it right. Just repackage it to 'let me know if you need help'

Even though these days the wives are bringing home $$$ too, we are wired to be the head of the household even if our importance has been diminished. Some calls we made may not be perfect but if there's hardly any damage done, then donch harp on it. Peace and harmony more important

Hmmmmm. That's easy for me.
Hubby hardly fails (he's pretty good at fixing stuff), always seems more right than me in EVERY thing. And indeed, since he became the sole breadwinner, we do enjoy more peace & harmony

[Augmum]

BeContented:

Nebbermind:

Donch ask him something and after he responded, you reply 'are you sure?'. If you are not going to believe him, donch ask!


And if he is fixing something, donch ever ask 'are you sure you knowing how to do it?', even if it looks destined to fail. Donch ever hurt his ego coz he was confident before he started and already very pissed when he can't get it right. Just repackage it to 'let me know if you need help'

Even though these days the wives are bringing home $$$ too, we are wired to be the head of the household even if our importance has been diminished. Some calls we made may not be perfect but if there's hardly any damage done, then donch harp on it. Peace and harmony more important

Hmmmmm. That's easy for me.
Hubby hardly fails (he's pretty good at fixing stuff), always seems more right than me in EVERY thing. And indeed, since he became the sole breadwinner, we do enjoy more peace & harmony

:hi5: same for me.....majority of stuffs are fixed/repaired by him in the house.....
no chance to ask \"are u sure?\" can only be his assistant....

[Mawar]

Sleepy, your DH is one lucky man. :udawoman:


I would like to be more like you but I can't. Still have the superwoman who can do it all mentality to shed. Some of us have been training to do it all from young. Now need to unlearn and relearn the art of flirtation and seduction.

[vinegar]

my DH is 波冷水 type…how ah?

When i ask him,how is ur day?he says "as usual lor,dealing wf bunch of FT."
When i ask him,how is ur project?finish?,he says,"as usual,forever cannot finish."
when i ask him,how was ur lunch wf colleagues?he says,"same old food lor,nothing special."

[TheAnswer]

sleepy:

Contrary to popular beliefs, to be 嗲, it's not necessary to fake a 娃娃音 or dress sexily

(or stamp feet :rotflmao: in vinegar's example)


You can speak in your usual tone la, just be milder and never never talk louder than your hubby.



And of course try to be a little more excessive & expressive on the 甜言蜜语 aspect :snuggles:

My DH always remind me to talk softer. Cannot talk to him as if I'm teaching a class of students. When I talk softer, what I want usually goes through :evil:

[TheAnswer]

sleepy:

slmkhoo:

gifts don't do much for me at all, but I appreciate consideration and attention.

Same here. Not high on gifts.

I prefer act of service. So I feel love when he's helping out in house chores, buy food for me, make my morning coffee and bedtime milo for me. And of course I like plenty of his attention :please:

He always says he got the shorter end of the stick. Because he needs to sweat (iron, mopping, wash dishes) to make me feel love but I only need to sweet talk him & no need to scrub floor :rotflmao:

My DH shows his love only through acts of service. I rarely hear words of affirmation. When I complain, he will list down all the service which he did for me to shut me up. :wrongmove:
like this morning, he made plain porridge plus my favorite dishes to eat with me before I head off for my lessons
His 'I love You' are rare and few. His theory --> can't say too often if not no value :faint:

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

my DH is 波冷水 type...how ah?

When i ask him,how is ur day?he says \"as usual lor,dealing wf bunch of FT.\"
When i ask him,how is ur project?finish?,he says,\"as usual,forever cannot finish.\"
when i ask him,how was ur lunch wf colleagues?he says,\"same old food lor,nothing special.\"

My DH says that sometimes but also other times he will share more. My DH not so expressive so I try not to ask him open ended questions or routine questions.

Got once I was fed up with his answers so I asked him what do u expect me to say if you give me short answers. At that point, he kinda woke up n spent more effort in trying to communicate with me.

[sharonkhoo]

vinegar:

my DH is 波冷水 type...how ah?

When i ask him,how is ur day?he says \"as usual lor,dealing wf bunch of FT.\"
When i ask him,how is ur project?finish?,he says,\"as usual,forever cannot finish.\"
when i ask him,how was ur lunch wf colleagues?he says,\"same old food lor,nothing special.\"

Is your husband the type who doesn't like to talk? Or maybe he needs to unwind more before talking? My husband won't talk much immediately on coming home, especially when he's tired, but will talk later when he's more relaxed.

If your husband doesn't answer such open-ended questions well, maybe ask something more specific - about a particular meeting or issue or colleague. But avoid questions that can be answered with a yes/no. Or mention something in the news and ask his opinion.