don't really know how to talk to wife

[TheAnswer]

sleepy:

Contrary to popular beliefs, to be 嗲, it's not necessary to fake a 娃娃音 or dress sexily

(or stamp feet :rotflmao: in vinegar's example)


You can speak in your usual tone la, just be milder and never never talk louder than your hubby.



And of course try to be a little more excessive & expressive on the 甜言蜜语 aspect :snuggles:

My DH always remind me to talk softer. Cannot talk to him as if I'm teaching a class of students. When I talk softer, what I want usually goes through :evil:

[TheAnswer]

sleepy:

slmkhoo:

gifts don't do much for me at all, but I appreciate consideration and attention.

Same here. Not high on gifts.

I prefer act of service. So I feel love when he's helping out in house chores, buy food for me, make my morning coffee and bedtime milo for me. And of course I like plenty of his attention :please:

He always says he got the shorter end of the stick. Because he needs to sweat (iron, mopping, wash dishes) to make me feel love but I only need to sweet talk him & no need to scrub floor :rotflmao:

My DH shows his love only through acts of service. I rarely hear words of affirmation. When I complain, he will list down all the service which he did for me to shut me up. :wrongmove:
like this morning, he made plain porridge plus my favorite dishes to eat with me before I head off for my lessons
His 'I love You' are rare and few. His theory --> can't say too often if not no value :faint:

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

my DH is 波冷水 type...how ah?

When i ask him,how is ur day?he says \"as usual lor,dealing wf bunch of FT.\"
When i ask him,how is ur project?finish?,he says,\"as usual,forever cannot finish.\"
when i ask him,how was ur lunch wf colleagues?he says,\"same old food lor,nothing special.\"

My DH says that sometimes but also other times he will share more. My DH not so expressive so I try not to ask him open ended questions or routine questions.

Got once I was fed up with his answers so I asked him what do u expect me to say if you give me short answers. At that point, he kinda woke up n spent more effort in trying to communicate with me.

[sharonkhoo]

vinegar:

my DH is 波冷水 type...how ah?

When i ask him,how is ur day?he says \"as usual lor,dealing wf bunch of FT.\"
When i ask him,how is ur project?finish?,he says,\"as usual,forever cannot finish.\"
when i ask him,how was ur lunch wf colleagues?he says,\"same old food lor,nothing special.\"

Is your husband the type who doesn't like to talk? Or maybe he needs to unwind more before talking? My husband won't talk much immediately on coming home, especially when he's tired, but will talk later when he's more relaxed.

If your husband doesn't answer such open-ended questions well, maybe ask something more specific - about a particular meeting or issue or colleague. But avoid questions that can be answered with a yes/no. Or mention something in the news and ask his opinion.

[sharonkhoo]

Nebbermind:

And if he is fixing something, donch ever ask 'are you sure you knowing how to do it?', even if it looks destined to fail. Donch ever hurt his ego coz he was confident before he started and already very pissed when he can't get it right. Just repackage it to 'let me know if you need help'

I learned this early on. I was raised by an engineer dad and learned how to do some simple DIY and changing plugs etc because I was interested. But my husband wasn't interested and left such things to his older brothers. So when we married, I had to let him learn (sometimes tactfully teach him). I still do a lot of these things myself when he isn't home, but he does some too, and I leave anything that needs strength (especially plumbing, drilling and all car maintenance) to him.

[vinegar]

i also do some DIY,clear choked pipe,replace cabinet handle,plaster wall gaps…with my engineering background,some learnt fr. contractor.


my DH is good in fixing but he is only free over wkend.Can’t wait for him,so i try to it myself.

Men r sotong.I remember few yrs ago,when he started to be calculative,i told him off,"hey,if u r saying this supposes to be my job,i also do a lot of things which r suppose to be ur job.As husband n wife,why r u so calculative?" it is a waking call for him…he really didn’t realise until i said out…surprisingly…

[Jennifer]

vinegar:

my DH is 波冷水 type...how ah?

When i ask him,how is ur day?he says \"as usual lor,dealing wf bunch of FT.\"
When i ask him,how is ur project?finish?,he says,\"as usual,forever cannot finish.\"
when i ask him,how was ur lunch wf colleagues?he says,\"same old food lor,nothing special.\"

Hi-5 :stompfeet:

[Jennifer]

something happened this morning.


Now I shall concentrate to learn how to zip my mouth :clubmyself:

[Nebbermind]

vinegar:

i also do some DIY,clear choked pipe,replace cabinet handle,plaster wall gaps...with my engineering background,some learnt fr. contractor.


my DH is good in fixing but he is only free over wkend.Can't wait for him,so i try to it myself.

Men r sotong.I remember few yrs ago,when he started to be calculative,i told him off,\"hey,if u r saying this supposes to be my job,i also do a lot of things which r suppose to be ur job.As husband n wife,why r u so calculative?\" it is a waking call for him....he really didn't realise until i said out...surprisingly...

Your dh act blur only lah! :rotflmao:

[Lavina]

sleepy:

Words of affirmation must be coupled with physical touch, plenty of physical touch.

Don't be afraid to act spoiled and childish with him.
Say for instance while he's standing at the kitchen basin washing dishes, I will hug his back (physical touch) and say thank you for helping with the dishes (words of affirmation), plant a kiss (physcial touch) at his back and then bounce back to my room to continue surfing kiasuparents Or demand him to 抱抱 while he's in the middle of making milk for kids or during tv commerical breaks or even interrupt him when he's playing games on his windows phone.

Not one-off thingy. I do that all year round. Give him plenty of attention.

I do all that too :love:
Sometimes if i wake up earlier than him, i will sayang his face. And every morning, I will send him to the door, wish him good day, drive careful etc while waiting for the lift (learn from Korean drama). Occasionally I will send a sweet SMS during the day (learn from Cecilia Sue :yikes: )