don't really know how to talk to wife

[TheAnswer]

To me the best way to punish my DH is to remain silent.

[TheAnswer]

Jennifer:

TheAnswer:

[quote=\"Jennifer\"]Recently I asked hubby a question, something very trivial (I cant remember what it is anymore either). His reply: I dunno, I only know I do not want to be scolded by you.

Jennifer, you reminded me of a time when I was also sick of getting scolded by DH. I literally said the exact same words as your DH.
He kinda created some terror and spoiled my mood during that low period. There is probably too much tension. It will be over soon. Be patient.

I remember one incident. I suggested going to a new jap place. DH took a look at the menu and didn't like it. But he turned around and said this to me, \"I think if I were to say no, I think you will be unhappy with my choice. So, let's go in. He went in with a black face. I went in feeling annoyed because I didn't even force him in. He thought I would be angry if he decided not to eat there. That day, he found fault with even the seats which we were allocated. Thank goodness. In the end he found the food nice and satisfying. If not, go home sure :nunchuk: :spank: :torchme:

Perhaps you can suggest joining DH to do something he enjoys? Lessen the tension? Kids can feel the tension.

Something he enjoys? making money lor - he is a workaholic.

Formula 1 Racing season is here :frustrated:[/quote]Perhaps he needs a hobby? Too workaholic isn't good.

[Jennifer]

Imami:

Give him a choice la - show black face or constant nagging or scream and shout. I think he would choose black face. It's easier to turn (oneself away) then to turn deaf ear (from wifey's nagging/shouting).

whatever the methods, not healthy.

In the past, I would tell him the reasons. Now, sian liao. Maybe he belongs to the same type as my younger boy - one ear in, stays for a short while, then flies out from the other ear.

just accept the situation calmly n be the \"docile\" wife lor

I sort of think it is up to myself to make myself happy (unhappy), my choice. If I am smart, I will make the right choice to let go. Else end up like my late mother.

Maybe I have not reached \"enlightenment\" yet

[Jennifer]

TheAnswer:

Perhaps he needs a hobby? Too workaholic isn't good.

He has hobbies. One-man show types - reading his kungfu novels, surfing the web to be in the know of SSD notebooks, Sony X...Z vs HTC.

At least ytd he and the boys went to play badminton for an hour.

When the biz was a new startup, I can understand the long hours and late nights. Now the biz is targeted to become bigger, I also need to be the understanding wife.

Ytd I was reading the book The Life of Pi while waiting for my elder boy to have his braces fixed, I came across this sentence in the book - businessmen = busynessmen :rotflmao:

[TheAnswer]

Jennifer:

TheAnswer:

Perhaps he needs a hobby? Too workaholic isn't good.

He has hobbies. One-man show types - reading his kungfu novels, surfing the web to be in the know of SSD notebooks, Sony X...Z vs HTC.

At least ytd he and the boys went to play badminton for an hour.

When the biz was a new startup, I can understand the long hours and late nights. Now the biz is targeted to become bigger, I also need to be the understanding wife.

Ytd I was reading the book The Life of Pi while waiting for my elder boy to have his braces fixed, I came across this sentence in the book - businessmen = busynessmen :rotflmao:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies. Still cultivating my interest in English dramas, cycling and all the IT stuff

[sharonkhoo]

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies. Still cultivating my interest in English dramas, cycling and all the IT stuff

Have you been married long? My husband and I tried very hard in the early years of our marriage to do things together as much as possible. Unfortunately, we are very different. My husband is the running/cycling/movies type and likes to go out a lot. I am a stay-at-home by nature and don't like most sports except swimming (which he doesn't). In the end, we gave up trying to force each other to change. What we did was try to schedule our different activities at the same time, eg. he would drop me at a swimming pool then he would go jogging and pick me up on the way home. If he's watched a DVD that I didn't like, I would sit beside him and read or sew. Sometimes, he would go out with friends without me if I didn't feel like going, with no bad feelings on either side. Of course, we tried to do enough things together and have some give-and-take so that we didn't lead separate lives. It's worked so far (25 happy years).

[Jennifer]

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies.

Ya, my hubby does not do the above. My younger boy does

Last week, my younger boy was told: I am not as sporty as you, into so many types of games. I do not feel motivated to play tennis or soccer with you. Badminton and table tennis I can do.

Sad, right?

[TheAnswer]

slmkhoo:

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies. Still cultivating my interest in English dramas, cycling and all the IT stuff

Have you been married long? My husband and I tried very hard in the early years of our marriage to do things together as much as possible. Unfortunately, we are very different. My husband is the running/cycling/movies type and likes to go out a lot. I am a stay-at-home by nature and don't like most sports except swimming (which he doesn't). In the end, we gave up trying to force each other to change. What we did was try to schedule our different activities at the same time, eg. he would drop me at a swimming pool then he would go jogging and pick me up on the way home. If he's watched a DVD that I didn't like, I would sit beside him and read or sew. Sometimes, he would go out with friends without me if I didn't feel like going, with no bad feelings on either side. Of course, we tried to do enough things together and have some give-and-take so that we didn't lead separate lives. It's worked so far (25 happy years).

My DH is the kind who wants to do most of the stuff together. He is into sports as he wants to look good. He is the vain type. I like going to the gym. He doesn't. He wants me to join him for sports because he wants me to take care of my health more. I tend to fall sick easily when weather is bad. He also wants me to maintain my figure also. Need to exercise more as DH will request me to have fast food with him twice a week.

The shows we can watch separately though he does encourage me to watch English shows when I like Cantonese ones. We watch the shows during the same block of time.

Those are the main differences. Apart from that, so far so good. Other stuff, we match well.

[TheAnswer]

Jennifer:

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies.

Ya, my hubby does not do the above. My younger boy does

Last week, my younger boy was told: I am not as sporty as you, into so many types of games. I do not feel motivated to play tennis or soccer with you. Badminton and table tennis I can do.

Sad, right?

I guess we will all have at least one person who will nag at us. Used to my mum. Now my DH. My father in law is the kind who nags a lot. Thank goodness! He nags at my mother in law only. DH once said that when he grows old, he might nag like his dad. :xedfingers:

[Augmum]

TheAnswer:

To me the best way to punish my DH is to remain silent.

TheAnswer, seems like there are quite a few areas we are alike.....haha
Yes, same for me.....hub cant stand my silence....he will break the ice first....