don't really know how to talk to wife

[TheAnswer]

Jennifer:

TheAnswer:

Perhaps he needs a hobby? Too workaholic isn't good.

He has hobbies. One-man show types - reading his kungfu novels, surfing the web to be in the know of SSD notebooks, Sony X...Z vs HTC.

At least ytd he and the boys went to play badminton for an hour.

When the biz was a new startup, I can understand the long hours and late nights. Now the biz is targeted to become bigger, I also need to be the understanding wife.

Ytd I was reading the book The Life of Pi while waiting for my elder boy to have his braces fixed, I came across this sentence in the book - businessmen = busynessmen :rotflmao:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies. Still cultivating my interest in English dramas, cycling and all the IT stuff

[sharonkhoo]

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies. Still cultivating my interest in English dramas, cycling and all the IT stuff

Have you been married long? My husband and I tried very hard in the early years of our marriage to do things together as much as possible. Unfortunately, we are very different. My husband is the running/cycling/movies type and likes to go out a lot. I am a stay-at-home by nature and don't like most sports except swimming (which he doesn't). In the end, we gave up trying to force each other to change. What we did was try to schedule our different activities at the same time, eg. he would drop me at a swimming pool then he would go jogging and pick me up on the way home. If he's watched a DVD that I didn't like, I would sit beside him and read or sew. Sometimes, he would go out with friends without me if I didn't feel like going, with no bad feelings on either side. Of course, we tried to do enough things together and have some give-and-take so that we didn't lead separate lives. It's worked so far (25 happy years).

[Jennifer]

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies.

Ya, my hubby does not do the above. My younger boy does

Last week, my younger boy was told: I am not as sporty as you, into so many types of games. I do not feel motivated to play tennis or soccer with you. Badminton and table tennis I can do.

Sad, right?

[TheAnswer]

slmkhoo:

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies. Still cultivating my interest in English dramas, cycling and all the IT stuff

Have you been married long? My husband and I tried very hard in the early years of our marriage to do things together as much as possible. Unfortunately, we are very different. My husband is the running/cycling/movies type and likes to go out a lot. I am a stay-at-home by nature and don't like most sports except swimming (which he doesn't). In the end, we gave up trying to force each other to change. What we did was try to schedule our different activities at the same time, eg. he would drop me at a swimming pool then he would go jogging and pick me up on the way home. If he's watched a DVD that I didn't like, I would sit beside him and read or sew. Sometimes, he would go out with friends without me if I didn't feel like going, with no bad feelings on either side. Of course, we tried to do enough things together and have some give-and-take so that we didn't lead separate lives. It's worked so far (25 happy years).

My DH is the kind who wants to do most of the stuff together. He is into sports as he wants to look good. He is the vain type. I like going to the gym. He doesn't. He wants me to join him for sports because he wants me to take care of my health more. I tend to fall sick easily when weather is bad. He also wants me to maintain my figure also. Need to exercise more as DH will request me to have fast food with him twice a week.

The shows we can watch separately though he does encourage me to watch English shows when I like Cantonese ones. We watch the shows during the same block of time.

Those are the main differences. Apart from that, so far so good. Other stuff, we match well.

[TheAnswer]

Jennifer:

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies.

Ya, my hubby does not do the above. My younger boy does

Last week, my younger boy was told: I am not as sporty as you, into so many types of games. I do not feel motivated to play tennis or soccer with you. Badminton and table tennis I can do.

Sad, right?

I guess we will all have at least one person who will nag at us. Used to my mum. Now my DH. My father in law is the kind who nags a lot. Thank goodness! He nags at my mother in law only. DH once said that when he grows old, he might nag like his dad. :xedfingers:

[Augmum]

TheAnswer:

To me the best way to punish my DH is to remain silent.

TheAnswer, seems like there are quite a few areas we are alike.....haha
Yes, same for me.....hub cant stand my silence....he will break the ice first....

[Joule]

[quote]

Joule,
Do you think she also realizes something is wrong but doesn't know how to approach it?[/quote]I would suspect so. might be.

for all you know she is writing on mummy.sg on how come her husband doesn't 'get it' .

from the posts here, I found out that I am not alone

misunderstandings happen

but I guess, the correct answer is just give the benefit of the doubt

maybe wife doesn't mean it

if she knew, she would not purposely be out to irritate

and also another point I learn from ppl here

self emotional awareness and management- very impt

ownself not emotionally healthy, not good

cannot control other people reaction

only can control own reaction

[TheAnswer]

Augmum:

TheAnswer:

To me the best way to punish my DH is to remain silent.

TheAnswer, seems like there are quite a few areas we are alike.....haha
Yes, same for me.....hub cant stand my silence....he will break the ice first....

I'm usually quite a chatterbox. I literally can talk nonstop. He used to wonder why I have so much to talk about Thus when I'm home and I'm silent for a few hours, he knows trouble is brewing. Confirm something wrong. He usually will break the ice within a few hours. Yes, his tolerance is that low. If I am at level 10, he is at level 1. But then again, I do not give him silent treatment regularly. It only happens when he piss me off continuously for few days. My mood usually recovers quickly so it isn't hard to pacify me

[TheAnswer]

Joule:

[quote]

Joule,
Do you think she also realizes something is wrong but doesn't know how to approach it?

I would suspect so. might be.

for all you know she is writing on mummy.sg on how come her husband doesn't 'get it' .

from the posts here, I found out that I am not alone

misunderstandings happen

but I guess, the correct answer is just give the benefit of the doubt

maybe wife doesn't mean it

if she knew, she would not purposely be out to irritate

and also another point I learn from ppl here

self emotional awareness and management- very impt

ownself not emotionally healthy, not good

cannot control other people reaction

only can control own reaction[/quote]My DH sometimes also mention that certain things I do irritate him. So sometimes he will say that I'm out to annoy him. Actually it's not, I just really forget that he dislikes such behavior.

Giving the benefit of doubt is probably better until you can figure things out.

[sharonkhoo]

Jennifer:

Ya, my hubby does not do the above. My younger boy does


Last week, my younger boy was told: I am not as sporty as you, into so many types of games. I do not feel motivated to play tennis or soccer with you. Badminton and table tennis I can do.

Sad, right?

I don't see it as sad, just reality. You don't expect him to like all the things you like, so he has to learn to do the same. You are preparing him well for later life. I don't feel at all guilty when I tell my kids that I will not do certain things with them because I don't enjoy them, and they accept that.