In-law problems?

[Harlequin]

janet_lee88:

Son had cleft...as such he cannot be brought out of nursery. Only myself and hubby can go in. She made boo boo about it. I don't have any tonics either...so what with first grandson. She sat on the chair like some dowager...when friend came to visit me, old one's face was so unpleasant...my friend whispered she had to leave as it was uncomfortable to stay. I felt so bad and also mad with the old one :mad:

Sigh, can please don't call them THE OLD ONE? We are all not that young too you know... don't know how I'll feel if my future sil calls me \"the old one\" :sad:
Prefer your \"honey bunny\" and \"Hello Kitty\" that you used on your grandma

PS. Sorry, just being straight forward....

[buds]

3Boys:

ngl2010:

[quote=\"3Boys\"]MILs can be hard on the DILs, but from many of the posts here, I see the DILs can also be very hard on the MILs. Every small comment is taken as an affront.

Not all DILs and not all the time lah... Also, we are only human...

Likewise, not all MILs and not all the time.....they are only human.

Only they aren't on the internet bashing their DILs in public forums.[/quote]Those I see at the market are fierce boi. :scared:

They are at the sidelines.. arms a-flailing.. :mad: with their DILs. :nailbite:

The ones chillaxing at KFC after their marketing a bit more tame. Phew..

One or two would tell me how lucky my mil is because I go marketing (and cook), even when they see that I'm all up in arms with my boys and loads of plastic bags. Sometimes they stop their heated discussion to ask me what's cookin up in my kitchen that day.

Oh boi they don't know my mil..

[Harlequin]

buds:

3Boys:

Likewise, not all MILs and not all the time.....they are only human.

Only they aren't on the internet bashing their DILs in public forums.

Those I see at the market are fierce boi. :scared:

They are at the sidelines.. arms a-flailing.. :mad: with their DILs. :nailbite:

The ones chillaxing at KFC after their marketing a bit more tame. Phew..

One or two would tell me how lucky my mil is because I go marketing (and cook), even when they see that I'm all up in arms with my boys and loads of plastic bags. Sometimes they stop their heated discussion to ask me what's cookin up in my kitchen that day.

Oh boi they don't know my mil..

Ya boi, MILs also got lots of complains, only do it on different platform....

That's what happened lah when 2 women love a man :evil:

Luckily my MIL loves FIL more than she loves my hubby

[Funz]

TheAnswer:

Funz:

[quote=\"TheAnswer\"]
My mil treats me fairly well. Sometimes when I go over, she prepares tonic for me.

When I go over the MIL's I will prepare something that she likes to eat and bring over. Usually fish cos she likes fish.

Got motive one. :evil: If not it will be porridge with canned peanuts and fried beehoon or mee tai mak with taugeh.

Nowadays DH will pick her up and bring her over to our place. She will sometimes request her fav like sambal sotong, assam fish and I will gladly cook those for her.

How come she doesn't cook proper food? Trying to save money or no motivation to cook?[/quote]Think more of no motivation to cook. No one eats at home most of the time. FIL was the kind that cannot stay home. DH and SIL hardly goes home for dinner even before marriage. So left only with MIL who is not so into food. So when on the occasions that we go back, a bit tedious to suddenly cook up a storm when there is nothing in the kitchen.

[Sun_2010]

Harlequin:

buds:

[quote=\"3Boys\"]

Likewise, not all MILs and not all the time.....they are only human.

Only they aren't on the internet bashing their DILs in public forums.

Those I see at the market are fierce boi. :scared:

They are at the sidelines.. arms a-flailing.. :mad: with their DILs. :nailbite:

The ones chillaxing at KFC after their marketing a bit more tame. Phew..

One or two would tell me how lucky my mil is because I go marketing (and cook), even when they see that I'm all up in arms with my boys and loads of plastic bags. Sometimes they stop their heated discussion to ask me what's cookin up in my kitchen that day.

Oh boi they don't know my mil..

Ya boi, MILs also got lots of complains, only do it on different platform....

That's what happened lah when 2 women love a man :evil:

Luckily my MIL loves FIL more than she loves my hubby [/quote]The irony of it all ...

[Sun_2010]

3Boys:

ngl2010:

[quote=\"3Boys\"]MILs can be hard on the DILs, but from many of the posts here, I see the DILs can also be very hard on the MILs. Every small comment is taken as an affront.

Not all DILs and not all the time lah... Also, we are only human...

Likewise, not all MILs and not all the time.....they are only human.

Only they aren't on the internet bashing their DILs in public forums.[/quote]Ya true, but as others have said - different mediums.
My take -
Current MILs belonging to the older gen can easily open up to friends and relatives about the DIL. They could rant, shed a tear , and get consolation, advice from neighbours, relatives, friends - they have a support group around them. And so they feel it easier to handle .

While the DILs ( educated , working) feel a little ill-at-ease to discuss her Mil problems with accquaintences. They can hardly talk much at workplace either. Maybe only with close friends, who they may not get to meet often enough.
That is till opening of the internet. Now as a keyboard warriors , she can rant without inhibitions. So she does. That becomes her coping machanism. Getting it off the chest is necessary to move on.

Ya sometimes , we do go over the top , but that is the exception. Most want a listening ear, the feeling that there are others in the same boat as us, an occasional advise, and sometimes the feeling -\"atleast my MIL is not as bad as hers\".

What you lack 3b, pardon me for saying so, is empathy. You have to be thru somethings to understand the angst between the hurtful words. I,too, dont condone disrespect of MILs no matter what. While you feel an irritation, a disgust, I feel sad. That what should be a symbiotic realtionship is eating into the emotional health of the family. That is really sad. :sad:

[vinegar]

Sun_2010:

Ya true, but as others have said - different mediums.
My take -
Current MILs belonging to the older gen can easily open up to friends and relatives about the DIL. They could rant, shed a tear , and get consolation, advice from neighbours, relatives, friends - they have a support group around them. And so they feel it easier to handle .

While the DILs ( educated , working) feel a little ill-at-ease to discuss her Mil problems with accquaintences. They can hardly talk much at workplace either. Maybe only with close friends, who they may not get to meet often enough.
That is till opening of the internet. Now as a keyboard warriors , she can rant without inhibitions. So she does. That becomes her coping machanism. Getting it off the chest is necessary to move on.

Ya sometimes , we do go over the top , but that is the exception. Most want a listening ear, the feeling that there are others in the same boat as us, an occasional advise, and sometimes the feeling -\"atleast my MIL is not as bad as hers\".

What you lack 3b, pardon me for saying so, is empathy. You have to be thru somethings to understand the angst between the hurtful words. I,too, dont condone disrespect of MILs no matter what. While you feel an irritation, a disgust, I feel sad. That what should be a symbiotic realtionship is eating into the emotional health of the family. That is really sad. :sad:

:goodpost: I \"was\" always wanted to be a good DIL...but i gave up liao..totally...

DH couldn't understand what i was going thru..Indeed,it is very emotional drained.

[janet88]

Ok…let’s just say in-laws are no hello kitty nor honey bunny.

Mil belongs to my grandmother’s generation…exactly.

[vinegar]

I don’t give my MIL any nick name. I agree that it is not nice to do so…


However, I know she does give a unpleasant nickname for me…coz she gave nickname to other SILs…

[janet88]

She doesn’t have a nickname…what I mean is mil is definitely no hello kitty.

I have enough stress with kids and hubby is also having work pressure. No point adding fire. He can visit them…I am perfectly ok.