How much should I give my parents?

[TheAnswer]

Imami:

popireis:

My own mum, when I just started work after graduating, expected me to give her 50%-70% of my salary. And no, she is not asking that amount to save up, she will spend it all. And she will want to know how much i earn so she knows if i am giving the right amount. Of course i did not oblige.

50-70%? cannot la... Unless I earn $10k la. After deducting CPf, transport, food and another 50-70%????? For someone who just graduated,what is left?

My first pay was only $1300. I gave my mum about 25% and I was already very cash strapped. I couldn't imagine 50-70% :faint:

I give my mum 20% of my pay. If she ask for 50-70%, I will start to question if she is really my mum. Seriously! This is ridiculous! What does she expect me to fed my son with? Black sauce with rice?

[Imami]

TheAnswer:

I give my mum 20% of my pay. If she ask for 50-70%, I will start to question if she is really my mum. Seriously! This is ridiculous! What does she expect me to fed my son with? Black sauce with rice?

I would just ask her why (she needed 50-70%), no doubt she is my mum

If it is the first few years of my working life, 50-70% not feasible. But now, with what I am earning, 50-70% of my pay - can.

But why? I need to understand the reasons behind her request.

[TheAnswer]

Imami:

TheAnswer:

I give my mum 20% of my pay. If she ask for 50-70%, I will start to question if she is really my mum. Seriously! This is ridiculous! What does she expect me to fed my son with? Black sauce with rice?

I would just ask her why (she needed 50-70%), no doubt she is my mum

If it is the first few years of my working life, 50-70% not feasible. But now, with what I am earning, 50-70% of my pay - can.

But why? I need to understand the reasons behind her request.

I have heard of some mothers who gamble. Feel so sad. All the hard earned money gone.

[popireis]

I didn’t give her so much la of course, I just started work, after CPF, then still need to have transport $, lunch $, pay insurance, social expenses, save for future wedding, buy house etc, how to give so much?


She didn’t understand that. She was a SAHM her whole life and everything was paid for by my dad so she prob thought I dun nd to save for anything.

Even before I started work, she already lined up her expectations, for example, if my pay is $1k, give her $600. If $1.2k, give her $800 and so on. She thought i could survive on $400 but she forgot abt CPF.

Yes to be frank, i was pretty resentful but I just kept quiet and gave her whatever I could afford. Oh, and not forgetting i have to give my dad too. She was obviously very disappointed and upset by the "paltry" sum but sorry, i oso have my own future to think of.

[Imami]

Hi popireis,


I don’t mean to speak in offense but I really couldn’t help but wonder - how’s your relationship with your mum? Close or not?

The way you say it, sounds like you r talking about your mil. Sorry, too many mil bashing at the other thread…

[popireis]

Hi Imami


Hmm, it’s a very strange relationship…
I was very close to her when i was young, but as i grew up, it became suffocating as she was very controlling in everything. If u understand what i am saying. I am glad i was strong enuf to stand up for myself, ambicably. I have heard stories of pple who were tightly controlled by their parents even up to adulthood, no social life and didn’t get married as a result.

[SBKS]

Imami:

SBKS:

understand from your point of view.

I just keep thinking that they want to know about it so that they will know whether the amount they received from us is justifiable or not and if they should ask more or not.

do you hv any examples to support why/how you feel that way?

Not that I don't believe you, but this is something new to me becos both my pil and parents do not operate like that and I hv yet to hear the same from friends.

I am curious. If I hv a chance, I would like to \"interview\" these parents. How much % is justifiable?

then u are really lucky...

my mum like to compare...with her so call friends....

then she wants more money...

cos i dun see any reason why they would ask how much i earn....

[SBKS]

there are just simply too many types of pple in the world to make it go round.


trust me, we need all types of pple to make the world go round.

[Imami]

SBKS:

my mum like to compare...with her so call friends....

then she wants more money...

cos i dun see any reason why they would ask how much i earn....

面子问题 . Could it be a gauge of \"how established you are\" in your career? The reason why I sometimes feel like I am reporting my grades to my mum when I tell her I have a pay increment is because it makes her feel good that her daughter is \"moving up\" and doing well. So I wonder if other folks think like this too?

[vinegar]

my mum also likes to compare n make unreasonable request.My aunt’s daughter works in US,no kid,gave my aunt a lot $ ,while i am SAHM,no income,my mum still asked me $$ to go travel.My bro is a doctor,own big hse n two cars,she doesn’t dare to ask $$ fr him.