In-law problems?
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straffan23:
Urm... no leh.. this stalking business is in addition to coming over to my place up to 5 times a day! She has the keys to my place and comes over anytime, never have a problem with running out of excuse!
5 times a day :yikes:
I will have a shock if someone opens the gate other than hubby. -
janet_lee88:
My parents and in laws do not have my house keys.straffan23:
Urm... no leh.. this stalking business is in addition to coming over to my place up to 5 times a day! She has the keys to my place and comes over anytime, never have a problem with running out of excuse!
5 times a day :yikes:
I will have a shock if someone opens the gate other than hubby. -
I do not like surprises. If in laws pops up unexpectedly or opens the gate to my place, I will be unhappy.
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straffan23:
:rotflmao: this one is funny!
Last weekend, a friend came to get something from me and wanted some plants from the coridor. So we stood there talking - and sure enough... MIL happen to \"drop by\". And of course she would make her appearance known. To my friend that she has not seen in her life... she just stood there between the 2 of us and started going \"What are you doing? Cut plants ah? For what ah? You also like plants ah? You stay nearby? You always come over? How many you take? Can grow ah? Got space? I am the husband's mother. I live opposite..... \" My friend was like :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: -
Harlequin:
The thing is they don't come clean!? Why can't they just open door see mountain and say,\" I come by to see xx.\"Maybe she longs to see you/her son/her grandchildren but ran out of \"acceptable\" excuses?
I know I would, I would missed my grown up children, no matter how far they will be and how their lives take them... but I would probably hone my EQ first, before I am being accused of stalking.... for whatever worth there maybe.
We are all parents.... the day will come
Yup, there will come a day when we become someone's parent in law, when someone call us \"the old one\" or worse \"the sickening (wo)man\" etc.
I would probably have a dil in future... :sad: If seeing how our parents live/talk/think steers our way of life, I better buck up and be nicer to my parents in law. -
Sun_2010:
Good post.[
I know. I always try to remember that my MIL is a mother who loves her son as all mothers do. Fiercely. Just as I do. So I try not to sweat the small stuff...
Hopefully I will be able to handle this better, without stepping on toes, when it is my turn :xedfingers: .
Afterall, now our life revolves around the kids/DH to a large extent, so one day if DIL or Son-in-law feels that the I, the MIL is an outsider who should just butt out and keep out of their family , it would hurt. And possible make my life seem not worth it . -
Dearest straffan23, only someone who has gone through the same scenario as you are will understand what you are going through. We do not know the full picture of your family's state of affairs but just know this... that i can empathize with what you are going through. :hugs: It's :siao: really... 5 times a day. :roll:
As for your doubts in the other thread on \"Moving in with MIL?\"... I think you know the answer to that already without anyone re-affirming it for you. -
Sorry, me got nothing nice to say about MIL or the other members of the ILs. AT ALL. :mad:
In my more than a decade of experience with the ILs, it never pays to be nice. I never went all out to make them feel at home or intentionally be a good DIL just because i feel that i had to. I am just being myself and i am nice. Too nice mebbe. So ppl take advantage. I treat them like family. They in turn treat me like their freaking doormat. The ILs emotionally abused me every other day and will splash loads of fuel if there's just a little spark with hubs. I have too much respect for the elders to ever blow my top and also because i like to think that i am raised better than stooping to their level. It is also naive to think that just because one tries or one is a nice DIL, the MIL will treat one like a daughter. That's just a load of :censored:... A son will forever be a son, whether or not they do things right. A mother will never side anyone other than her own family, especially a son!
The only time i may just go on a massive trigger-happy-shoot-off is when my mountains erupt. More than a decade of bottled-up unhappiness can make anyone's mountains go off. I sure as heck cannot promise i am nice when that happens.
But i know i won't have a single nice thing to say. AT ALL. :mad:
Sorry, when i come into this thread my mountains shake a little every time.. can't help it. -
buds:
Thanks, buds.... We were past that point trying to make her understand that it is not nice to anyhow drop in - she insists that since we're not thieves and neither is she so one should not be scared no matter who opens the door and/or what time!! And of course, when SIL wants to come or relatives wants to come she automatically brings them over - unlocks the door herself and everyone, give tour around the flat, blah blah...Dearest straffan23, only someone who has gone through the same scenario as you are will understand what you are going through. We do not know the full picture of your family's state of affairs but just know this... that i can empathize with what you are going through. :hugs: It's :siao: really... 5 times a day. :roll:
As for your doubts in the other thread on \"Moving in with MIL?\"... I think you know the answer to that already without anyone re-affirming it for you.
As for moving in... I know it won't work out - what remains is for my DH to see it that way - sigh... Things that disturbs me doesn't disturb him! E.g. my MIL could come when DH is taking a nap, goes around the flat looking for DH... when finally find him sleeping in the study she would sit next to the sofa bed and start talking to him. Or just sit there read newspaper waiting for him to wake up! Things like that irks me to no end. :slapshead: :slapshead: -
Why give her keys to the house in the first place?
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