In-law problems?

[Sun_2010]

Buds :snuggles:

I have read about your struggles and :salute: you for withstanding for as long as you did. Shows your character.

Yeah, its far too easy to preach, I know. I have a mil that i cant co-exist with, but I sincerely wish I could. If there is one thing that I could go back in time and change then it would be this. I would have been more firm and less compromising, putting my foot down firmly instead of bottling it up. That would have prevented things from detoriating as much. A little too late now. I ,of course, am not half as nice as you. you push me into a corner and I will bite, scratch whatever to get myself out .

I do hope you heal , its too much pain to carry around. You definitely dont deserve to.

[Nebbermind]

straffan23:

Urm... no leh.. this stalking business is in addition to coming over to my place up to 5 times a day! She has the keys to my place and comes over anytime, never have a problem with running out of excuse!

http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/24200000/I-know-what-you-did-last-summer-i-know-what-you-did-last-summer-24296851-640-272.jpg\">

[Sun_2010]

For you buds - the one with the bear - about holding grudges ...

you dont wanna give them that pleasure do you :evil:
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=33976&start=560

[buds]

Thanks, Sun_2010. You know... you say all the right words... all the time. :hugs: Almost like you know 'exactly' what i am going thru be it physically or emotionally. Those words you speak are most comforting to me... more than you know.


Yeh, we all know carrying all that baggage everywhere ain't doing good for no one but moving forward is easier if the person does not persist in being irritating and beyond annoying at every other chance they get. :roll:

Heck, it is indeed a tad late but hey, i won't go back in time to scratch... i'll just start sharpening em' claws already, you know... in case, an appearance is forced upon. It won't be pretty, that i'm very sure.

I have also exhausted the good words in my vocabulary.

Sigh... some ppl can be so mean. If i feign ignorance, she would get to me via my kids. Or worse, instigate hubs, or refer it directly but somehow meaning it for someone else. I am quite done already with relatives giving me a look, a pat they think i needed :roll:, a sneer, a \"every\" other look in between..

The only time i get to rant and not even that loudly is here. They go round telling the world what a bitch i am when i am not. I never was.

But maybe in time to come who knows...

I might...

By then, it ain't my fault hor.

A person only has so much..........
patience.

[buds]

Sun_2010:

For you buds - the one with the bear - about holding grudges ...

you dont wanna give them that pleasure do you :evil:
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=33976&start=560

Unfortunately it ain't a grudge no more Sun_2010, it had escalated into hatred over the years. She gets to me in no other way anyone can. Ya, that powerful. Especially her.

Should come in less into this thread. Bad for my heart. Then can't go to heaven. :imanangel:

[Desserts]

Same! Mil gate crashed a few times and I told dh that I don't really like it. Dh told mil not to do that and please have the courtesy to call first. Mil was so upset that she called me and scolded me upside down why can't she come as and when she liked! I thought I was being nasty ànd so gave into her fancies. I was stupid enough, her visits got more frequent until I exploded into another episode of sob sob drama again.


Last time, she asked for our house keys and soul come into our house to spot check our cleanliness. Aft we shifted to our new place, we cooked up excuses not to give her a set of keys.

[popireis]

I wonder if it’s their hobby to gate-crash?


My r/s w MIL has improved over the years but once last year, she brought SIL (BIL’s wife), SIL daughter (DS cousin) and SIL’s friend to my place without calling/SMS too.

DS happened to be having tuition at the time she came. I was so embarrassed and so was the tutor that she hurriedly went off and promised to make up the time on another day. Partly was also DS was distracted and could not focus on the lesson anymore.

I felt it was insensitive and inconsiderate of them, especially as it interrupted DS tuition… haiz.

[sleepy]

KSmom8:

Was wondering .... Are MILs nice because their DIL is fierce?


My mum said I should have got out of bed, fill the pail with water and drag it to the living room, and start mopping the floor in front of her, FIL and DH, in my pregnant state. I was like :scared: :yikes: then, but my mum said, wasn't that what MIL expected of me, to specifically make an effort to speak personally to me about it? After that \"suggestion\" from my mum, I never mention any inappropriate and tactless comments from MIL to my mum. Afraid she will \"scold\" ( or do something ) when she meets MIL.

:yikes:
Ask your hub to mop in MIL's presence :evil:

[KSmom8]

sleepy:

KSmom8:

Was wondering .... Are MILs nice because their DIL is fierce?


My mum said I should have got out of bed, fill the pail with water and drag it to the living room, and start mopping the floor in front of her, FIL and DH, in my pregnant state. I was like :scared: :yikes: then, but my mum said, wasn't that what MIL expected of me, to specifically make an effort to speak personally to me about it? After that \"suggestion\" from my mum, I never mention any inappropriate and tactless comments from MIL to my mum. Afraid she will \"scold\" ( or do something ) when she meets MIL.

:yikes:
Ask your hub to mop in MIL's presence :evil:

DH doesn't do household chores, only wash dishes ( and that's only when I force him ) ... Spoiled by MIL. We had a part time maid, so floor was perhaps not spotless but definitely not sticky.

Asking DH to mop ( if he agreed to do in first place) would not be as effective... Imagine if I had dragged the pail and mopped - in my pregnant state plus was advised by gynae to have bed rest state - in front of FIL and DH ( who were unaware of MIL's private conversation with me ). FIL and DH will be like :? Then I would just have to mention what MIL said. Can you imagine what they'd be thinking of MIL? Hopefully will see her true colors...

That's why I think my mum was probably a fierce DIL... Maybe that's why she said my paternal grandma was the nicest MIL.

Sometimes, I wonder if I had insisted on having things my way, wasn't so compromising, showed more \"color\" to MIL, would she have been a nicer MIL? Should have known when we were getting married... MIL insisted on having dinner at a restaurant, no hotels. I actually agreed without any questions...foolish me.

[longmao.029846irene]

straffan23:

buds:

Dearest straffan23, only someone who has gone through the same scenario as you are will understand what you are going through. We do not know the full picture of your family's state of affairs but just know this... that i can empathize with what you are going through. :hugs: It's :siao: really... 5 times a day. :roll:


As for your doubts in the other thread on \"Moving in with MIL?\"... I think you know the answer to that already without anyone re-affirming it for you.

Thanks, buds.... We were past that point trying to make her understand that it is not nice to anyhow drop in - she insists that since we're not thieves and neither is she so one should not be scared no matter who opens the door and/or what time!! And of course, when SIL wants to come or relatives wants to come she automatically brings them over - unlocks the door herself and everyone, give tour around the flat, blah blah...

As for moving in... I know it won't work out - what remains is for my DH to see it that way - sigh... Things that disturbs me doesn't disturb him! E.g. my MIL could come when DH is taking a nap, goes around the flat looking for DH... when finally find him sleeping in the study she would sit next to the sofa bed and start talking to him. Or just sit there read newspaper waiting for him to wake up! Things like that irks me to no end. :slapshead: :slapshead:

Wahaha i hv d exact sane scenio! Wen I just gvn birth to DD while breastfeeding in d bedroom my ILs will open door themselves, marched into my bedroom n \"stared\" into my BREAST! Tho MIL was d one in d bedroom \"staring\", ny bedroom door is wide open wif my FIL sitting in d LV room looking into d bedroom. You guys may termed it as concern, bt during my confidment mth wif all my hormones haywired, I am damnnnn pissed!

Another espiode was wen we moved to a new place, hubi gvn them out set if keys ( wh i dun object) bt d last straw was web MIL bought her frenz over for a free tour without US d owner ard!!! Can u imagine how shock i am wen i open d door to see SO MANY STRANGERS in d hse!!!!! Even tho is titally empty... I dun feel good!