Failing relationship with Son
-
mummy OnABudget:
I can if i could thing is i cant its the last intake for the course ever before the changes kick in from mcys then my previous qualification certificate to take this course be rendered useless.[/quote]Hope I am not being insensitive here: which do you think is most important - your child or your qualification?
Is it possible to give up this course you r attending for the time being?Jennifer:
[quote=\"mummy OnABudget\"]I cannot bring him home myself because i myself is on course now i have my own workload to handle.
When we stretch ourselves too thin, our stress level go up. When we want to hv a good talk to our children, our tone might not be right.mummy OnABudget:
Reading the above, I feel so heartache.My ex abadoned the family since 2005 i met my current hubby in 2009 my boy has always tried to contact him and hes always rejecting to see him my girl was too young to know what is going on so she takes to currnet hubby alot and not her father.
Imagine the rejection he feels whenever he calls and all the idiot can say is i am BUSY when on the other hand a search on facebook shows he is having a good time with his current family and best part is this woman this 3rd party is actually my ex bil wife. so basically she went from being his ah kim to his step mum, i know how that feels since my mum left early and my dad remarried thus i am super sensitive to this kinda issue.
I always tell him boy ar dont call la when in the end when u get disappointed is u suffer not him but he does not listen so i have given up trying to stop the calls.
From what you wrote above \"I always tell him boy ar dont call la when in the end when u get disappointed is u suffer not him but he does not listen so i have given up trying to stop the calls\", I feel that the issue is not resolved. The knot inside your boy
. Please seek out professional counselling for your boy before the damage is irreversible.
-
definitely ds is more imprtoant no question asked and because of your words and advice i am going to swap to part time course instead but that can only be done in may not now, for now hubby is fetching younger one nd ds is walking back since he does not want to be fetch together as he said he cannot stand dd.
Yea school counsellor is trying now we wait for the 19 april and see how.
oh ya and guess what is the most sickening thing that idiot did was promise him a bday present from last yr till now and it still have not materialise and this silly boy of mine is still waiting though i said i will give him something else that he wants to make up for it he dont want >< -
smartmummy:
:goodpost: Well done! You did the right things. Shouting & scolding will not solve the problem. We have to listen to find out where is the problem. :goodpost:Hi mummy OnABudget!
:snuggles:
Are you FTWM or SAHM?
I know it is easier said than done.But you only know your son best.We all know cannot shout have to talk heart-to-heart.At times we forgot or think that we did enough talk and give up the talk.I did a mistake in the early of this year.He already stressed out at school,but i was not aware of his stress and gave him more stress by shouting.Finally, I decided to want to know what is his point of view.Then I explained to him and convinced him that his thoughts are wrong.I cooked some favourite food for him and show him I support him instead of nagging.I show more responsiblity in my chores.
When I started to talk him nicely, his argument made me angry.Its took three days.Be patience,and talk constantly.Tell him that \"usually,he is a good boy ,why he does now?\" So he can change this bad behaviour.I took this advise from Chen's(Petunia Lee, Internal drive theory) book.
Best wishes! -
mummy OnABudget:
U did the right thing to make arrangements so that more attention can be given to your boy. Now is already mid-April.definitely ds is more imprtoant no question asked and because of your words and advice i am going to swap to part time course instead but that can only be done in may not now, for now hubby is fetching younger one nd ds is walking back since he does not want to be fetch together as he said he cannot stand dd.
Yea school counsellor is trying now we wait for the 19 april and see how.
My other advice would be to give a listening ear and not be nagging when you send/fetch your boy to/from school. Likely to be very difficult for mothers not to say sth when we see things not right from our perspective.
I am also still learning to hold my tongue with my younger boy.
Do u still hold hands with your boy? I feel that physical contact can be very powerful in mending relationships.
Do u think your boy is jealous of the sister? Sister being able to attach herself to the new father and have no sorry feelings due to the insensitivity of the biological father?mummy OnABudget:
your ex partner is really :nunchuk: but he might be the key to your boy's behaviourial issue. Hv u let him know the sort of prob your boy has been in?oh ya and guess what is the most sickening thing that idiot did was promise him a bday present from last yr till now and it still have not materialise and this silly boy of mine is still waiting though i said i will give him something else that he wants to make up for it he dont want ><
Sorry if I sounded kaypo. Just feel very heartache to know your boy suffering from parents' failed marriage as I was also from a broken family. -
Hi mummy so kiasu!
Thank you. -
Yup, I agree with Jennifer,Let the father knows the situation asked him to help or else convinced the boy that accept the fact.Everyone is not lucky to have both parents for their life.Some passed away as early as a child(5yrs).
-
Jennifer:
quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split
U did the right thing to make arrangements so that more attention can be given to your boy. Now is already mid-April.mummy OnABudget:
definitely ds is more imprtoant no question asked and because of your words and advice i am going to swap to part time course instead but that can only be done in may not now, for now hubby is fetching younger one nd ds is walking back since he does not want to be fetch together as he said he cannot stand dd.
Yea school counsellor is trying now we wait for the 19 april and see how.
My other advice would be to give a listening ear and not be nagging when you send/fetch your boy to/from school. Likely to be very difficult for mothers not to say sth when we see things not right from our perspective.
I am also still learning to hold my tongue with my younger boy.
Do u still hold hands with your boy? I feel that physical contact can be very powerful in mending relationships.
Do u think your boy is jealous of the sister? Sister being able to attach herself to the new father and have no sorry feelings due to the insensitivity of the biological father?mummy OnABudget:
your ex partner is really :nunchuk: but he might be the key to your boy's behaviourial issue. Hv u let him know the sort of prob your boy has been in?oh ya and guess what is the most sickening thing that idiot did was promise him a bday present from last yr till now and it still have not materialise and this silly boy of mine is still waiting though i said i will give him something else that he wants to make up for it he dont want ><
Sorry if I sounded kaypo. Just feel very heartache to know your boy suffering from parents' failed marriage as I was also from a broken family. -
mummy OnABudget:
Pardon my intruding here. I was very :mad: when I read his response. Splitting with you does not mean he can split his relationship with his own child! This is so :stupid:
quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split -
mummy OnABudget:
quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split
:shock: -
Flowermonaster:
Yes! What went wrong with a marriage has got nothing to do with the innocent children.... He is just being lame! (Pardon me for my :mad: comment.)
Pardon my intruding here. I was very :mad: when I read his response. Splitting with you does not mean he can split his relationship with his own child! This is so :stupid:mummy OnABudget:
quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better š
Register Login