Failing relationship with Son

[mummy so kiasu]

smartmummy:

Hi mummy OnABudget!

:snuggles:
Are you FTWM or SAHM?
I know it is easier said than done.But you only know your son best.We all know cannot shout have to talk heart-to-heart.At times we forgot or think that we did enough talk and give up the talk.I did a mistake in the early of this year.He already stressed out at school,but i was not aware of his stress and gave him more stress by shouting.Finally, I decided to want to know what is his point of view.Then I explained to him and convinced him that his thoughts are wrong.I cooked some favourite food for him and show him I support him instead of nagging.I show more responsiblity in my chores.
When I started to talk him nicely, his argument made me angry.Its took three days.Be patience,and talk constantly.Tell him that \"usually,he is a good boy ,why he does now?\" So he can change this bad behaviour.I took this advise from Chen's(Petunia Lee, Internal drive theory) book.
Best wishes!

:goodpost: Well done! You did the right things. Shouting & scolding will not solve the problem. We have to listen to find out where is the problem. :goodpost:

[Jennifer]

mummy OnABudget:

definitely ds is more imprtoant no question asked and because of your words and advice i am going to swap to part time course instead but that can only be done in may not now, for now hubby is fetching younger one nd ds is walking back since he does not want to be fetch together as he said he cannot stand dd.


Yea school counsellor is trying now we wait for the 19 april and see how.

U did the right thing to make arrangements so that more attention can be given to your boy. Now is already mid-April.

My other advice would be to give a listening ear and not be nagging when you send/fetch your boy to/from school. Likely to be very difficult for mothers not to say sth when we see things not right from our perspective.

I am also still learning to hold my tongue with my younger boy.

Do u still hold hands with your boy? I feel that physical contact can be very powerful in mending relationships.

Do u think your boy is jealous of the sister? Sister being able to attach herself to the new father and have no sorry feelings due to the insensitivity of the biological father?

mummy OnABudget:

oh ya and guess what is the most sickening thing that idiot did was promise him a bday present from last yr till now and it still have not materialise and this silly boy of mine is still waiting though i said i will give him something else that he wants to make up for it he dont want ><

your ex partner is really :nunchuk: but he might be the key to your boy's behaviourial issue. Hv u let him know the sort of prob your boy has been in?

Sorry if I sounded kaypo. Just feel very heartache to know your boy suffering from parents' failed marriage as I was also from a broken family.

[smartmummy]

Hi mummy so kiasu!

Thank you.

[smartmummy]

Yup, I agree with Jennifer,Let the father knows the situation asked him to help or else convinced the boy that accept the fact.Everyone is not lucky to have both parents for their life.Some passed away as early as a child(5yrs).

[mummy OnABudget]

Jennifer:

mummy OnABudget:

definitely ds is more imprtoant no question asked and because of your words and advice i am going to swap to part time course instead but that can only be done in may not now, for now hubby is fetching younger one nd ds is walking back since he does not want to be fetch together as he said he cannot stand dd.


Yea school counsellor is trying now we wait for the 19 april and see how.

U did the right thing to make arrangements so that more attention can be given to your boy. Now is already mid-April.

My other advice would be to give a listening ear and not be nagging when you send/fetch your boy to/from school. Likely to be very difficult for mothers not to say sth when we see things not right from our perspective.

I am also still learning to hold my tongue with my younger boy.

Do u still hold hands with your boy? I feel that physical contact can be very powerful in mending relationships.

Do u think your boy is jealous of the sister? Sister being able to attach herself to the new father and have no sorry feelings due to the insensitivity of the biological father?

mummy OnABudget:

oh ya and guess what is the most sickening thing that idiot did was promise him a bday present from last yr till now and it still have not materialise and this silly boy of mine is still waiting though i said i will give him something else that he wants to make up for it he dont want ><

your ex partner is really :nunchuk: but he might be the key to your boy's behaviourial issue. Hv u let him know the sort of prob your boy has been in?

Sorry if I sounded kaypo. Just feel very heartache to know your boy suffering from parents' failed marriage as I was also from a broken family.

quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split

[Flowermonaster]

mummy OnABudget:

quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split

Pardon my intruding here. I was very :mad: when I read his response. Splitting with you does not mean he can split his relationship with his own child! This is so :stupid:

[Jennifer]

mummy OnABudget:

quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split

:shock:

[Harlequin]

Flowermonaster:

mummy OnABudget:

quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split

Pardon my intruding here. I was very :mad: when I read his response. Splitting with you does not mean he can split his relationship with his own child! This is so :stupid:

Yes! What went wrong with a marriage has got nothing to do with the innocent children.... He is just being lame! (Pardon me for my :mad: comment.)

[mummy OnABudget]

Flowermonaster:

mummy OnABudget:

quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split

Pardon my intruding here. I was very :mad: when I read his response. Splitting with you does not mean he can split his relationship with his own child! This is so :stupid:

I been there getting :mad: :mad: and :rant: :rant: aat him non stop but all i could do in the end was :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: cause he will never understand what is going on.

All i can do now is be there for ds in whatever way i can this journey has not been easy but i been through the tough times this is just another battle that i will conquere and come out stronger with ds in tow.

Difference now is i got a man behind me who is my silent listener who let me rants all i want and when i done all he say is baby u can do it jia you and that is what that has been keeping me going.

I think back on my failed marriage all i can say is i did my best he was the one who gave up on the family not me.

[mummy OnABudget]

Flowermonaster:

mummy OnABudget:

quoting my ex hubby he said its none of his business since we have split

Pardon my intruding here. I was very :mad: when I read his response. Splitting with you does not mean he can split his relationship with his own child! This is so :stupid:

I been there getting :mad: :mad: and :rant: :rant: aat him non stop but all i could do in the end was :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: cause he will never understand what is going on.

All i can do now is be there for ds in whatever way i can this journey has not been easy but i been through the tough times this is just another battle that i will conquere and come out stronger with ds in tow.

Difference now is i got a man behind me who is my silent listener who let me rants all i want and when i done all he say is baby u can do it jia you and that is what that has been keeping me going.

I think back on my failed marriage all i can say is i did my best he was the one who gave up on the family not me.