Taking Leave to attend to child care matters
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tamarind:
:goodpost:I think the most common reason is :
Most men think that looking after kids is the mommy's job.
Actually I know of mommies who do not care about their kids at all. If mommy doesn't care, than daddy has to care. So if you want your hubby to do something, you need a heart made of iron. Don't worry, kids are tougher than you think
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tamarind:
Hey, I've seen that too. Kids always cope, true. But I can't help thinking they'll grow up warped and I feel so sad for them.I think the most common reason is :
Most men think that looking after kids is the mommy's job.
Actually I know of mommies who do not care about their kids at all. If mommy doesn't care, than daddy has to care. So if you want your hubby to do something, you need a heart made of iron. Don't worry, kids are tougher than you think
Truth be told, I love being so loved and needed by my son! I just lurve the way his little hands reach out for mine. Lucky for DH and I, our son is the huggy type, so we're gonna enjoy for as long as we can! -
Initially when DS is younger it's a default 'cos he prefers mom to be around. I still do so whenever he falls sick - becomes an automatic system but I chose to be this way. Thereafter, I plan all my leave around his childcare holidays etc 'cos I love spending time with him even on trivial matters. DH will join me so that each precious leave taken is family time. We are fortunate enough to have ample leave left to also plan for couple time during birthdays, anniversarys etc :love:
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Blobbi:
I heard that boy grows up to be very good in his studies, and has a very good character. His mother doesn't care about him at all. Perhaps his Daddy has done a good job raising him. There are mommies who do not love their kids.
Hey, I've seen that too. Kids always cope, true. But I can't help thinking they'll grow up warped and I feel so sad for them.
Truth be told, I love being so loved and needed by my son! I just lurve the way his little hands reach out for mine. Lucky for DH and I, our son is the huggy type, so we're gonna enjoy for as long as we can!
But if both Daddy and Mommy don't care, then it is really sad. -
ZacK:
1. Is your DH close to your son?
2. Does he share the same sentiments as you wrt bringing up junior? Perhaps he feels that he does not have to \"pamper\" kids and they will grow up fine?
Why I am asking is because I gather from your posting above that he comes off as kind of \"aloof\" and \"bo chap\"... Is he generally like that with most issues except his work?
If you feel that you can communicate with DH, perhaps you should start with sharing with him your expectations as a COUPLE when it comes to raising junior... He must have the \"buy in\" in order that you will have a shared responsibility when it involves your son.
Some examples for my case:
- I missed my son's K1 concert last year, DW was telling me that DS1 was looking out for me etc. I naturally want DS1 to be happy and not feel that I do not care abt him, so all it took was for DW to remind me and this year I took half day leave so that I can go for his graduation concert.
- When it comes to injections, most of the time, we would arrange on Sat morning when both of us are available and will go together to the clinic.
- There are other occasions when DW could not get off work last minute, I took emergency leave to attend to the little ones... Well helps that my home is 15min drive from work
- DW is on leave in Jan, so I am not taking leave come Monday to send DS1 for his first day of school...
Given that our junior came out from both of us, my pt is raising our kids is a joint responsibility... More like a tag team, sometimes one parent must bear the torch to \"forge forward\" and when tired the other parent will take over.
So my approach in your case, would be to have a good chat with DH. Need to understand what are his views when it comes to raising your kids and whether they are aligned with your parenting style... If both styles are different... best is to reach a consensus and mutual agreement before moving off.
Do not be disgruntled or disheartened... Hope all will work out for you :celebrate:
p.s. But if DH is the bo chap type and does not bother with everything or anything type yeah... I will also :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:
1) My hubby love my son as much as i do but my son seem to prefer me more than him.
2)We have very different view in bringing up our kid and i am both the angel and devil. I do all the work! He just came home to watch tv, surf net and sleep! He play with the kid as well but it's more like after having fun, i am the one to clean up the mess type!
Yes, he is aloof and bo chap.
yes, he think that looking after the young is mum job and he don't have coporate ladder to climb lor. His boss is his uncle so the only ladder he climb is \"take over his uncle company\" hehe...
Working for own people sometimes make taking leave more difficult than working for other...
We can't sit down and have a good chat. It always end up in quarrel and then big fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just resigned to fate.................... -
not true with regards to the title of this thread.
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FMz:
not true with regards to the title of this thread.
What do you mean? :?
Hmmm actually i started this thread with the Title: Mum always the one to take leave but how come it change and with a poll? :? -
JMHO,
Taking care of the child is a shared responsibility.
buds is a SAHM, hence I would normally take leave
if anyone is sick or if there is any urgent matters.
That is of course if my schedule permits...
:celebrate: -
Hi waynemum
Actually, do you think your DH would like to have another child? If he does, and assuming you too, maybe that's the way to make him share more responsibilities with you, i.e. negotiate to have a second one on the basis that he needs to change his \"MCP\" mentality.
It's true that mothers tend to be the one giving more care to children. Some people would say we multi-task better than men
, I think that's just a lame excuse.
In my case, my work has always been more \"siong\" compared to DH (he's one lucky chap in his career while I'm the å³ē¢å½ one who has to put in so much more)... Still, bulk of our children's enrichment programs land on my shoulders as I'm also the \"better-half\" (can speak Mandarin, more musically-inclined, etc. etc. and most important, more patient with the kids)...
I have my fair share of complaints like you, but fortunately, my DH doesn't expect me to take leave all the time. When it comes to visiting doctors, he's usually the one doing it.
DH used to not take his childcare leave too and I was like :whut: -
buds hubs:
Yes. And buds_hubs took leave today to share theJMHO,
Taking care of the child is a shared responsibility.
buds is a SAHM, hence I would normally take leave
if anyone is sick or if there is any urgent matters.
That is of course if my schedule permits...
:celebrate:
joy of his baby DD2 going for 1st day in P1.
Armed with his neu DSLR camera!
When the kids are down (sick), buds_hubs utilizes
the given childcare leave to help me with the kiddies
and also help around da house at da same time. :hugs:
Like cleaning, vacuuming, doing the laundry and if i am da
one down... buds_hubs will add cooking as well to his to-do
list. Hehee. :lol:
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