桃花谈
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Ladies, this will be my concluding post for this thread (about life).
Other than all the western theories on human development (Maslow, Piaget, Erikson, Freud, etc, etc), I hold the below Confucius' especially close to my heart.
The below stages are what Confucius went through himself and he noted his experiences down. Therefore, it's a development journey of a 'saint' that most of us may not achieve those milestones as the ages stated. Many I observed did not pass over the 四十而不惑 stage, meaning a person can be 50 years old, 60 years old, 70 years old, etc, but he still cannot get by this stage.
I am close to 50 and I assess my current stage to be near the 耳顺. Not so much that I am more 'superior' than Confucius but I maybe able to achieve it earlier coz I am blessed with the readily available literature for my reading and deep reflecting (unlike him who needed a lot of efforts to get info during the ancient time).
So, you may want to bear the below in mind and map yourself and others as the ages pass by. I use it as one of the factors to consider what kind of advice I can dish out to others (whether this person will listen, will not listen, how much I should or should not advise, etc).
We cannot force 'growth' (in terms of wisdom and not academic intelligence), whether on our kids, family members, or friends. Each of them just have their own path to travel and as long as their 心术正, then their futures will be fine.
Continue to cultivate filial piety (but not into 愚孝）and the 'jackpot' will ring ring ring for multiplying positive points to come.
Best wishes to all!
三十立、四十不惑、五十知天命、六十耳顺、 七十从心所欲，应该怎样去做
1.三十而立，立什么
三十岁的人, 应该能依靠自己的本领独立承担起自己应承受的责任，并已经确定自己的人生目标与发展方向。简单说，三十岁的人应该能坦然地面对一切了。它可以用立身 立业 立家三个方面概括。
立身，立身就是确立自己的品格和修养，我认为它应包括：思想的修养，道德的涵养，能力的培养三个方面。自强是立身之本，别把自己的需求寄托在父母的资助上，寄托在别人的帮助上，那都是软弱的表现。立身是对每个人立足于社会最起码的要求。
立业，立业就是确立自己所从事的事业，三十的人应该有比较固定的职业了。从事每项事业都要有本领，按现代话讲就是有一技之长。立业不但是求生的手段，也是尽到社会责任所必备的。
立家，立家就是应该有了自己的家庭。至于是先立业后立家，还是先立家后立业，每个人情况不同，也不必要分哪个为先哪个在后。年轻人必须负起社会和家庭的责任，还是早些好。
2.四十而不惑，明白了什么
“四十而不惑”，到了四十岁，才不怀疑。
人到了四十岁，咀嚼了事态的冷暖，感怀了岁月的无情，往事悠悠，四十年弹指一挥间，在经历了许多疑惑、彷徨、振奋、欣喜之后，是沉思，是恍然大悟……少了激情，多了沉稳；少了冲动，多了冷静；少了烦恼，多了理智；少了放任，多了责任；少了盲从，多了自我……
四十岁的人是十分理智和清醒的，对外，他明白了社会；对内，他明白了自己；对自己，他明白了责任。四十岁的人，是人生辉煌时期，也是为社会和家庭贡献最大的时期。
3.五十而知天命，知道了什么
孔子“五十而知天命”，“天命”就是我们今天讲的因果报应，他知道了，命里有的一定有，命里没有的别强求，乐天知命，丝毫强求都没有，到五十岁明白了这个道理，一切通达了。
“天命”，上天的旨意或命令，引申开来，指必然性或命运。
到了五十岁，知道了自己的命运轨迹，不怨天；知道了自己的人生定位，不尤人；知道了自己未竟的责任，不懈怠。
五十岁的人，到了人生最成熟阶段，成功和辉煌带来快乐的同时，也时常伴有一些压力，但他们都能很坦然地面对，因为他们了解了社会，可他们更知道自己！
4.六十耳顺，看透了什么
到了六十岁，好话坏话尽管人家去说，自己都听得进去而毫不动心、生气，心里依然平静。
耳顺是能容忍“逆耳”之言，听“逆言”不觉得“逆耳”。
人到了这个岁数，不管听到什么言论，遇到什么坎坷曲折，都能做到不激动,而冷静地进行思考，使自己的情绪顺应客观环境，顺应事物规律，学会不暴躁，不气馁，不悲伤，不退缩，达到宠辱不惊，始终如一的境地。人修养的最高境界，就是能控制和把握自己。
六十岁的人看透了人生；六十岁的人看透了生命；六十岁的人看透了名利。
六十岁的人，经历了岁月的打磨，经历了曲折和挫折，留下的只是人生足迹，成就的却是自己丰富的阅历、涵养、修养。
六十岁的人，是人生中的晚秋，他的生活脚步慢了，却可以细细品味人生，欣赏人生旅途中各种景色，享受于向社会提供自己辛勤劳动后的成就感中，享受于无忧无虑的轻松生活中，享受于品味酸甜苦辣的回忆所带来一番别致感觉中，有它与众不同的风采！
5.七十从心所欲，应该怎样去做
七十从心所欲，很简单，就是顺从自己的想法，想做什么就做什么。从心所欲要顺其自然；从心所欲要随遇而安；从心所欲要不逾矩。
七十岁以后，都是追求身体健康，身体健康是保证生活质量的基本条件，要追求高生命质量，高的生命质量，才是完美的人生。七十岁以后，又是新的起点，总会有新的生活内容，也总会有新的快乐，你就会看到生命的一份希望和念想。
Source:
http://www.360doc.com/content/12/0720/19/413468_225493047.shtml
PS:
You may want to research more on this 'theory' when you are free if you want more indepth explanation. Just a great theory to know... -
Thank you once again Insider for this thread. Reading your sharing has planted some seeds of awareness in my psyche. Things I was aware of but couldn’t put my finger on. I am mulling over some seeds of thought, and whether the seeds would germinate or hibernate, I have to actively cultivate them. Thank you!
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Hi insider,
Thank you so much for sharing your stories and advices.
Reading your posts made me reflected on myself and thus know more about myself.
While reading your stories, I managed to find solutions to my problems. It’s a pity that you are concluding this thread so fast. -
insider:
Dear insider,Ladies, this will be my concluding post for this thread (about life).
...
You may not be, nor did you ever claim to be, a guru or professional trainer or teacher. But your snippets of life and scenarios are more real than any artificial case studies that might be created to bring across the points you try to make about how we can deal with life. Thus, to me, they are not merely thought-provoking, but life-changing as they forced me to reflect on myself and how my own behavior affects the outcomes that shape my life.
What you have is true wisdom, forged from a life fraught with challenges. Thank you for having candidly shared that with all of us. -
insider:
Ladies, this will be my concluding post for this thread (about life).
Dear Insider,
:thankyou: -
:thankyou:
Many thanks, Insider, for your sharing in this thread! -
Thank you insder.
Glad that you decided to start this thread after a long absence from KSP.
Your latest post reminded me of something again.
When I didn’t "强求" life was easier. -
thank you insider, i learnt a lot while reading this thread.
thank you. -
:thankyou:
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thank you insider for sharing.
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