The use of 'You' in Sentences
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When it comes to language and the ways of communication, there is never just one sure-fire way... a perfect way... regardless if one speaks to a child or a teen or an adult.
The English Language itself on its own, is a complex language to comprehend. A word can be spelt exactly the same but pronounced differently by two different people. Like you may say toh-mah-toe but i say toh-may-toe. Different right? But both refer to the same thing. Hee.
A word as simple as \"you\" used in whatever context for whichever age can sound both inviting and condescending depending on the body language and the tone of the one who speaks it. Not so much of whether we should or should not use the word at all for people of different age groups.
Like say... if we are using these same words to the three age groups - child / teen / adult. Example oni hor.
Child : You want? :love: - The tone here will sound inviting/welcoming.
Child : You want? :evil: - The usage here can sound evil and leaning towards mean.
Child : You want? :roll: - The tone can sound somewhat sarcastic too.
Teen : You want? :skeptical: - The tone can sound judgmental.
Teen : You want?
- This can lean towards mocking.
Teen : You want? :heresmyfish: - Teasing tone.
Adult : You want?
- Sharing mood.
Adult : You want?! :yikes: - Think of this tone as when a friend shares abt wanting a 7th child cos she loves children.
Adult : You want...? :evil: - A demure yet sexy invitation. Nuff said.
The manner the words were expressed was the main factor as to the response it will receive.
Using \"we\" in sentences is definitely more inclusive.. more inviting.. more endearing so to speak, regardless of whom we are telling it to. Of course, the \"we\" can still come out strong and sharp if the speaker intended for the word to cut deep as well. I personally do not believe that \"we\" can no longer be appropriate for children of different ages. Perhaps the nature (way) and the environment a child is brought up also plays a part if one may likely find it unsuitable. I have friends and family whom to date, still use the word \"we\" and the telling part of their relationship can only be described as close knit and affectionate. Not to say that they don't use the word \"you\" at all, of course. LOL! Not possible definitely.
Likewise for the usage of \"we\", it can jolly well mean how you want it to be.
A supervisor : You are in big trouble.
Same supervisor : We are in big trouble.
1st one, the chap doing a blame game and the second is an acknowledgment that his subordinate is in big trouble but the assurance shows that he meant to either help to work things out or willing to lend an ear.
A mom telling her child : You are in big trouble.
Same mom telling the same child : We are in big trouble.
1st stance the child is sure to bawl but in the second, the mom knows the kind of trouble but can mean that she understands that the child will need some assistance getting out of it even though if it means that the child will eventually have to get out of that trouble himself.
There will be occasions where you wanna get things done. The usage of \"we\" and \"you\" will yield different responses as well. Just the other day, buds_hubs came home from work and was very sweet to offer his help in getting the boys to have their bath. So... this transpired when he was trying to get buds_chubs to have his shower.
Hubs : You. Shower.
Chubs : Nope. Not yet. (He meant not now.) :rotflmao:
Hubs was :frustrated: because it got chubs and him into a scream fest for awhile. So.....
I said : We shower?
Chubs : Okay mommy. Wets go! (He meant let's go.) :rotflmao:
That made hubs fume for awhile. As usual claiming chubs was becoming quite the brat and that I spoiled him. He :roll: his eyes at chubs teasingly much to the boy's delight. Seeing hubs still lazing around and seemingly like no longer wanting to have his bath after chubs was done, I scolded him.
Pointing to him. I said.
\"YOU!\" :mad:
\"Shower!\" :evil:
He immediately stood up and said, \"Yes ma'am. We shower.\" :rubhands:
We can all work the we's and the you's how we want it to. The skill is in how we do it and make it work. Suffice to say, for those of us who use \"we\" more often than \"you\"... we make things easier on ourselves by not having to stress so much about drawing that line by using the \"you\" to emphasize the reference and the importance that, it is \"your responsibility\"... \"your exam\"... \"your homework\"... \"your room\"... etc.
By alternating to using \"we\" more often, we clearly define that line without having to even draw it. It's the soft touch to getting things done your way without so much as a fuss. But of course, as I have said earlier, it is a skill not just anyone can master. :evil:
However, once you've mastered the art of the soft touch... no matter which word you use... be it \"you\" or \"we\"... no matter what, it will just work, how you want it to be without the :rant:.
All of us converse and communicate in different ways and in the ways we know how and using the words that work for our children and the people in our household as well as around us. So, if yours works, then it works. I ain't judging.
In case \"you\" still don't know buds by now... buds wanna clarify that the post above was meant to be tongue-in-cheek hor. You don't point finger at me, k?
:xedfingers:
Peace out. -
buds:
Enjoyed your post!When it comes to language and the ways of communication, there is never just one sure-fire way... a perfect way... regardless if one speaks to a child or a teen or an adult.
The English Language itself on its own, is a complex language to comprehend. A word can be spelt exactly the same but pronounced differently by two different people. Like you may say toh-mah-toe but i say toh-may-toe. Different right? But both refer to the same thing. Hee.
A word as simple as \"you\" used in whatever context for whichever age can sound both inviting and condescending depending on the body language and the tone of the one who speaks it. Not so much of whether we should or should not use the word at all for people of different age groups.
Like say... if we are using these same words to the three age groups - child / teen / adult. Example oni hor.
Child : You want? :love: - The tone here will sound inviting/welcoming.
Child : You want? :evil: - The usage here can sound evil and leaning towards mean.
Child : You want? :roll: - The tone can sound somewhat sarcastic too.
Teen : You want? :skeptical: - The tone can sound judgmental.
Teen : You want? - This can lean towards mocking.
Teen : You want? :heresmyfish: - Teasing tone.
Adult : You want? - Sharing mood.
Adult : You want?! :yikes: - Think of this tone as when a friend shares abt wanting a 7th child cos she loves children.
Adult : You want...? :evil: - A demure yet sexy invitation. Nuff said.
The manner the words were expressed was the main factor as to the response it will receive.
Using \"we\" in sentences is definitely more inclusive.. more inviting.. more endearing so to speak, regardless of whom we are telling it to. Of course, the \"we\" can still come out strong and sharp if the speaker intended for the word to cut deep as well. I personally do not believe that \"we\" can no longer be appropriate for children of different ages. Perhaps the nature (way) and the environment a child is brought up also plays a part if one may likely find it unsuitable. I have friends and family whom to date, still use the word \"we\" and the telling part of their relationship can only be described as close knit and affectionate. Not to say that they don't use the word \"you\" at all, of course. LOL! Not possible definitely.
Likewise for the usage of \"we\", it can jolly well mean how you want it to be.
A supervisor : You are in big trouble.
Same supervisor : We are in big trouble.
1st one, the chap doing a blame game and the second is an acknowledgment that his subordinate is in big trouble but the assurance shows that he meant to either help to work things out or willing to lend an ear.
A mom telling her child : You are in big trouble.
Same mom telling the same child : We are in big trouble.
1st stance the child is sure to bawl but in the second, the mom knows the kind of trouble but can mean that she understands that the child will need some assistance getting out of it even though if it means that the child will eventually have to get out of that trouble himself.
There will be occasions where you wanna get things done. The usage of \"we\" and \"you\" will yield different responses as well. Just the other day, buds_hubs came home from work and was very sweet to offer his help in getting the boys to have their bath. So... this transpired when he was trying to get buds_chubs to have his shower.
Hubs : You. Shower.
Chubs : Nope. Not yet. (He meant not now.) :rotflmao:
Hubs was :frustrated: because it got chubs and him into a scream fest for awhile. So.....
I said : We shower?
Chubs : Okay mommy. Wets go! (He meant let's go.) :rotflmao:
That made hubs fume for awhile. As usual claiming chubs was becoming quite the brat and that I spoiled him. He :roll: his eyes at chubs teasingly much to the boy's delight. Seeing hubs still lazing around and seemingly like no longer wanting to have his bath after chubs was done, I scolded him.
Pointing to him. I said.
\"YOU!\" :mad:
\"Shower!\" :evil:
...
-
buds:
I thought that means that DAD IS THE BOSS. No? :scratchhead:
A mom telling her child : You are in big trouble.
Same mom telling the same child : We are in big trouble.
1st stance the child is sure to bawl but in the second, the mom knows the kind of trouble but can mean that she understands that the child will need some assistance getting out of it even though if it means that the child will eventually have to get out of that trouble himself. -
buds:
When it comes to language and the ways of communication, there is never just one sure-fire way... a perfect way... regardless if one speaks to a child or a teen or an adult.
I agree. It's really how we say it, and not what we say.
Here's Miss Hattie, the orphanage director who always use \"we\".
Watch from 33 secs onwards.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP-NaOmXXUI][/youtube] -
Just a little snippet of how the ‘I’, ‘you’ and ‘we’ was used with DD.
DD came home with a way below average result for one of her math tests.
Me: This wasn’t what we are expecting is it?
DD (very miserably): No
Me: So what do you think went wrong?
DD (in a small voice): I am not sure…
Me : Were a lot of marks lost due to carelessness?
DD (in an even smaller voice): some
Me : Were there questions that you were unable to solve?
DD (still hunched over) : yah, 2 of them.
(and she showed me the questions)
Me : Were you taught such sums in class?
DD (still not looking at me): Yes, but I did not really understand
Me : So what should we have done if we do not fully understand what was taught?
DD (peeking at me) : Ask teacher or ask you or daddy
Me : We have also spoken many times about your carelessness…
DD(sitting up more) : yes mummy, I was scribbling too much and could not read my own handwriting in this test so my answers were wrong though method was correct.
Me : so what should we do now?
DD(pulling her chair up to the table and grabbing a pencil): Can we go through those few sums? And after that, can we find more similar sums for me to try on my own?
Me : Ok. And what of your carelessness?
DD : It is work in progress mummy.
DD chanting : we shall not scribble, we shall not scribble, we will write neatly, we will write neatly…
A week later I got a watsapp from DD
DD : WE DID IT MUMMY!!!
me : Huh? What did we do?
DD : I got 90/100 for this mock exam!
me : Woo hooo!!! So all your hard work paid off!!!
DD : Yup! (series of happy bouncing emoticons)
DD : muacks! Love you
Me : Love you more. (this is our usual sign off) -
:please: It's amazing how your experience was almost exactly like mine Funz. Almost the same words in your conversation too. :love: Including the sign off. Only mine was when she came home from school just yesterday.
It's great to be a mom. :snuggles: -
Funz:
Thanks for sharing an example. I recall similar conversations with my boys. I didn't even realize the use of \"we\" and \"you\" in such conversations until I saw your illustration.Just a little snippet of how the 'I', 'you' and 'we' was used with DD.
DD came home with a way below average result for one of her math tests.
Me: This wasn't what we are expecting is it?
DD (very miserably): No
Me: So what do you think went wrong?
DD (in a small voice): I am not sure.....
Me : Were a lot of marks lost due to carelessness?
DD (in an even smaller voice): some
Me : Were there questions that you were unable to solve?
DD (still hunched over) : yah, 2 of them.
(and she showed me the questions)
Me : Were you taught such sums in class?
DD (still not looking at me): Yes, but I did not really understand
Me : So what should we have done if we do not fully understand what was taught?
DD (peeking at me) : Ask teacher or ask you or daddy
Me : We have also spoken many times about your carelessness....
DD(sitting up more) : yes mummy, I was scribbling too much and could not read my own handwriting in this test so my answers were wrong though method was correct.
Me : so what should we do now?
DD(pulling her chair up to the table and grabbing a pencil): Can we go through those few sums? And after that, can we find more similar sums for me to try on my own?
Me : Ok. And what of your carelessness?
DD : It is work in progress mummy.
DD chanting : we shall not scribble, we shall not scribble, we will write neatly, we will write neatly......
A week later I got a watsapp from DD
DD : WE DID IT MUMMY!!!!
me : Huh? What did we do?
DD : I got 90/100 for this mock exam!
me : Woo hooo!!! So all your hard work paid off!!!
DD : Yup! (series of happy bouncing emoticons)
DD : muacks! Love you
Me : Love you more. (this is our usual sign off)
-
Hi Funz,
Thanks for the latest post. I needed this post -
insider:
:evil:
buddy,buds:
This is a skill not everyone can master. :evil:
we are not being trained for nothing...:evil:
U still the shifu. :love:
Learnt a lot from you. Thank you. :please:
Quality of life is most important to live happily. -
buds:
When it comes to language and the ways of communication, there is never just one sure-fire way... a perfect way... regardless if one speaks to a child or a teen or an adult.
ChiefKiasu:
A very apt example.I agree. It's really how we say it, and not what we say.
Here's Miss Hattie, the orphanage director who always use \"we\".
Watch from 33 secs onwards.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP-NaOmXXUI][/youtube]
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