All About Teaching Values
-
Hypothetically, if your child has been selected to join the school's team (be it clubs or sports) as a RESERVED player, will you encourage your child to go ahead, bearing in mind that
1. have to spend equal amount of time on preparation work but will only have the chance to use it if MAIN player is 'out' for some reasons.
2. that your child may secretly look forward to the MAIN player being 'out' so that he/she has the chance to shine.
Or do we as parents, put a stop to the kid 'wasting' the time preparing as RESERVED player and better utilise that time for other stuff? -
Hi Jedamun
The correct attitude is that the team is more important than the individual. If your child had to be the waterboy so that the team can win, he should be happy to be the waterboy. Praying for the main player to be injured so that he can shine? This kind of attitude will only get beaten up. -
HoSayLiao:
hi,Hi Jedamun
The correct attitude is that the team is more important than the individual. If your child had to be the waterboy so that the team can win, he should be happy to be the waterboy. Praying for the main player to be injured so that he can shine? This kind of attitude will only get beaten up.
thanks for sharing.
ideally, one needs to be noble in our intentions; but don't all Reserves wish to be main players one day? if i am caught in this situation, i will respect my boy's decision whether to continue being a Reserve...with a lot of reluctance. :oops: rooting for the best for the team is noble; but is it selfish to think of own benefits?
similarly, ideally if one school has a part in grooming the kid to shine, should the kid drop the opportunity for a transfer to a more reputed school? repaying what the sch has done by staying on is noble; but is it selfish to think of own benefits?
hm... -
In a competitive environment, like taking exams, competing for a job interview, u have to be selfish and there is nothing wrong it.
In a co-operative environment, like playing a team sports, in the army, it will then be 100% wrong to be selfish. If there are other players better than him, it means the team has a higher chance of winning, then he should be happy about it. Feeling reluctant is the wrong attitude.
Manchester Utd has a reserve called Ole Gunnar Solskaer. He was very good, but always the reserve and he was happy about it because when the whole team wins, he also gets the winners’ medal. That is the right attitude and right values we need to impart to the next generation.
If your child feel reluctant to be a reseve, u should tell him to improve his skills and stop feeling reluctant. -
HoSayLiao:
hi again,In a competitive environment, like taking exams, competing for a job interview, u have to be selfish and there is nothing wrong it.
In a co-operative environment, like playing a team sports, in the army, it will then be 100% wrong to be selfish. If there are other players better than him, it means the team has a higher chance of winning, then he should be happy about it. Feeling reluctant is the wrong attitude.
Manchester Utd has a reserve called Ole Gunnar Solskaer. He was very good, but always the reserve and he was happy about it because when the whole team wins, he also gets the winners' medal. That is the right attitude and right values we need to impart to the next generation.
If your child feel reluctant to be a reseve, u should tell him to improve his skills and stop feeling reluctant.
thanks for sharing. :goodpost: (in bold above)
i mean i am the one who will be reluctant.... :oops: bad me! :heresmyfish: -
:goodpost:
Thanks for sharing this beautiful story. Modelling is one of the best ways to impart values indeed! -
with the recent spate of violence on our streets still on our minds…
pls share your thoughts on what values are needed to address such violent behaviour in our youths? -
Children are a reflection of their parents.
-
any values lacking or missing in today’s society?
which ones?
do parents have it themselves?
or most do not? -
In the past, I was taught authoritatively what is right and what is wrong. The shows I used to watch almost always had a good guy and a bad guy. And the good guy would always wins - the demarcation was clear and straight forward. Movies I used to watch would always make me cry over violence and celebrate virtues like diligence and perserverance. Violence content in media was frowned upon harshly then by the community. Now the movies my child watches celebrated violence and made a mockery out of hardworking guys as uncool nerds.
Our education system has all along reward the competitiveness to excel. However, the community on the whole I believe was largely still promoting the courage to exhibit selflessness during the time when I was growing up. Things seem simpler then. Societal support on values was extremely high. My parents will use gambling dens crack down as life story to teach me the cons of gambling. Now I have to explain to my son why gambling is BAD but we need and want that kind of the money by building more than one casinos here for the GOOD of Singapore.
While family is the most critical influence of one’s attitude towards values, there are also other influences too. The kind of gracious society we are in or the kind of role models (a teacher, a colleague or a friend) we have play a part too. I know of someone who grew up with a compulsive gambler mother. He grew up to be a fine adult, because he got good role models and strong societal support throughout his life. While I see my parents demonstrating a lot of good values, I actually have found quite a large portion of them missing in me.
While a child can pick up values from the parent, values can be also taught. While family fundamentally is the most critical influence on a person’s values, the community and system we are in play a big part too.