All About Teaching Values

[breguet]

ZacK:

Actually the idea was not my own but I read it somewhere and decided that it made sense :lol:


Brought my son to the supermarket again today. As he was agreeable during lunch today, told him that we could stop by the supermarket to grab Yakult for him... This time round while on the way there I reminded him that he could get anything (Yakult inclusive) up to a value of S$3.

At the supermarket, saw that canned lychee was on offer and picked up a can... Never did I expect my son to go \"Noooo papa, we had lychee yesterday, so we don't have to buy it today...\" Hmmm caught me by surprise as he had never said No to lychee before :shock:

Anyway, found the Yakult and took a pack of 5... It cost S$2.85... Told him that a pack is $2.85 and 2 packs would cost almost $6... So I tested him if we could get 2 packs? He said we don't have enough $$ for 2 packs so just get 1 would be enough.

Hmmm... Wonder if it was fluke or was he just really in a good mood ... We took the pack of Yakult, gave him $3 and queued with him to make payment. This time round was really effortless as there was no crying or begging that I had to deal with.

Have decided to adopt the same approach for his birthday and Xmas where he'll be given a budget of $40 on each occasion to get whatever he wants.

Hopefully by doing this... He'll learn to appreciate that resources are limited and he needs to choose wisely on how he should utilise his resources to meet his wants.

{sorry, all thumbs this morning. trying this again.}

Very glad for you that this is working! I'm inspired to try harder!

[usaik]

Very happy to find this thread. Thanks for all the wonderful good tips shared in the discussion.


I am looking for good children books that depict good values. Wonder if anyone have any good one to share?

[tamarind]

In my case, when my girl asks to buy something, this is the way I talk to her :


Me: That item costs money to buy. Do you have any money ?
My girl : I don’t have. But you have money. You can buy for me.
Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money. Next time when you grow up and earn your own money, then you can buy anything you like, OK ?

My girl will stop asking after that. I started using the above tactic since she was 3 years old.

It doesn’t mean I never buy my kids things. I do buy them toys, but usually I am the one who makes the decision on what to buy, not them. Unless they have been very good, and I want to reward them, then I will let them choose something.

I think all kids must be taught that money does not fall down from the sky. Just before my girl turned 5 years old, I bought her a beading set. She made 8 bracelets, and then I helped her sell them over the internet. Then I gave her the money she earned, and told her she can buy anything with it. This is an important lesson to teach her that money is earned through hard work.

[tamarind]

usaik:

Very happy to find this thread. Thanks for all the wonderful good tips shared in the discussion.


I am looking for good children books that depict good values. Wonder if anyone have any good one to share?

I can recommend some very good Chinese books for children, that teaches good values. Not sure if you are interested in Chinese or English books ?

[mumwgals]

tamarind:

Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money. Next time when you grow up and earn your own money, then you can buy anything you like, OK ?

My girl will stop asking after that. I started using the above tactic since she was 3 years old.

:shock: :shock:

[ZacK]

mumwgals:

tamarind:

Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money. Next time when you grow up and earn your own money, then you can buy anything you like, OK ?

My girl will stop asking after that. I started using the above tactic since she was 3 years old.

:shock: :shock:

Hahhaha... I think I know how you feel :lol:

[ZacK]

tamarind:

Me: That item costs money to buy. Do you have any money ?
My girl : I don't have. But you have money. You can buy for me.
Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money. Next time when you grow up and earn your own money, then you can buy anything you like, OK ?

My girl will stop asking after that. I started using the above tactic since she was 3 years old.

Not sure if I would use this same tactic tho... I would like to think that our money will ultimately be our kids money (in one way or another) ... Juz thought that this method may cultivate the child to be calculative with us in future :?

I'm sure there are other ways where we do not need to make such remarks to our child and still cultivate the value of money in them

tamarind:

I think all kids must be taught that money does not fall down from the sky. Just before my girl turned 5 years old, I bought her a beading set. She made 8 bracelets, and then I helped her sell them over the internet. Then I gave her the money she earned, and told her she can buy anything with it. This is an important lesson to teach her that money is earned through hard work.

I thought this is a good way for them to learn to earn their \"keep\" and thereafter they have a say in what should be done with the money earned

[ChiefKiasu]

tamarind:

Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money.

I used this line on my wife once and I'm happy to report that I was fortunate to survive to tell the tale and to not make the same mistake twice.

If we use that on our children, I wonder if they would say the same to us when we are old and dependent on them...

[tamarind]

Hahaha I know what all of you are thinking.


At the same time, I also teach my girl to be to take care of those who have taken care of her when she is young, and to be generous with them. She has already promised to buy me a house and a pink color car when she grows up

Telling her that my money is not her money, is simply teaching her that she does not have the liberty to spend my money anyway she wants. It is not telling her to be calculative. My girl understands this very well.

Actually my kids have tons of toys and books at home, so they know that mommy indulges on them. It is just that they do not have the freedom to ask for anything they want.

Anyway, I have not tried this tactic on my son, who is almost 4 years old. He is still not able to understand such logic yet. My girl is much more matured than my boy at the same age.

I thought most parents nowadays do not plan to depend on kids in the future. We all have CPF right ?

[ZacK]

ChiefKiasu:

tamarind:

Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money.

I used this line on my wife once and I'm happy to report that I was fortunate to survive to tell the tale and to not make the same mistake twice.

If we use that on our children, I wonder if they would say the same to us when we are old and dependent on them...

Hmmm I'm surprised you survived!!! :shock: ... She must have been magnanimous or did you have to offer her big rock for her to give you another lifeline?

I thought for guys by signing on the marriage certificate equates to handing over the pay check and atm card to personal bank a/c???!!!

Hahaha the above was supposed to be a joke :lol: ... Anyway I managed to keep my own pay check and personal a/c intact and contribute to a common a/c for family expenses instead