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    Marital house issues

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    • manorwayM Offline
      manorway
      last edited by

      I am assuming you meant he wants you to pay for half of your marital house otherwise you should do housework, take care of kids and cover their education. Are you the sole breadwinner now? He is unemployed. So what is his contribution?


      Why did you mention your late in law’s house that your brother in law is staying in? Is that related to your marital house?

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      • MathematicaM Offline
        Mathematica
        last edited by

        He blew his top when our social worker told him in eyes of IRAS, I’m the sole breadwinner. He has been using his inheritance (around 1.7 mil) since 5 years ago to pay for house utility bills, pay for kids preschool education. Sometimes he would bring them out buy them gifts, IT gadgets… I feel that he should be chasing his brother for half the parent’s house instead kept bothering me about our marital house. He has been paying for the utility bills for his parent’s house for his brother. We have been married for almost 20 years !

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        • ChiefKiasuC Offline
          ChiefKiasu
          last edited by

          The biggest question that I have is: why isn’t he working? I don’t think anyone can live in Singapore, much less support a family with kids for 1.7million, without working.

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          • MathematicaM Offline
            Mathematica
            last edited by

            So what should I do? Move out of the house without the kids seem not feasible… pay him half the house? 20 years ago it costs $300k, now it’s $900k! And it’s his father who wanted to pay for the house, I didn’t ask for it, the deed is under both our names

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            • MathematicaM Offline
              Mathematica
              last edited by

              He’s only in early fifties. He laughed at me when I said it would not last. I hold a job, scared that I would need to support him when he’s older, with his health and finance problem, and he might again say that "eat his live his, use his" his usual phrase

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              • ChiefKiasuC Offline
                ChiefKiasu
                last edited by

                Mathematica\" post_id=\"2124764\" time=\"1702514691\" user_id=\"30974:

                So what should I do? Move out of the house without the kids seem not feasible.. pay him half the house? 20 years ago it costs $300k, now it's $900k! And it's his father who wanted to pay for the house, I didn't ask for it, the deed is under both our names
                If YOUR name is in the deed, then that's that. The house is already 50% owned by you regardless of whether you paid for it.

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                • MrsKiasuM Offline
                  MrsKiasu
                  last edited by

                  Maybe try to be in better talking terms first, then suggest to him abt how the make the balance of money works harder, suggest him trying to find part time or start by volunteering to assimilate into society…after few years not working may need some time…understand reason why he doesn’t ask for splitting the house if that’s the wish of yr in laws…could it be he already gotten one so may thought fair for bro to have the other? I am assuming the bro not married so difficult to just sell to split, where to stay after that? Sentimental feeling of the house etc etc…

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                  • sharonkhooS Offline
                    sharonkhoo
                    last edited by

                    Mathematica\" post_id=\"2124758\" time=\"1702480115\" user_id=\"30974:

                    My 5 room hdb marital house was paid by my father in law voluntarily (I didn't ask for it) when I married my spouse. Both parents in law passed away a few years ago. The parents in law house was supposed to be split among my husband and his brother, but my husband allows his brother to continue staying in it. Since my parents in law passed away, my spouse has been harping that I didn't pay a single cent , that I don't own the house, that I should pay half if I want to argue my rights. He is unemployed and has been leeching on his parents even before they passed away. We have three kids and he always use the house as an excuse that I should cover household chores, taking care of kids and their education. I feel that I'm being bullied. Any advice on what to do?
                    I'm sorry that you are in this situation, but I'm not sure what outcome you hope to achieve? Every action you take will have some repercussions, so you should first articulate what your ideal situation might be, and see how to work towards that. Some ideals will not be possible, and so you should work within what is possible.

                    As CKS points out, legally, you are a joint owner of the flat already. That makes little difference to you as long as you live in it. You can only get the money if you sell, but you can only do that if you are willing to take your share and find some other place to live, and presumably you will have to bring the children with you. In any case, contribution to the flat is not purely based on monetary terms - contributions from taking care of house and children, daily expenses, etc. are also considered.

                    Similarly with your husband's share of his parents' house - unless his brother sells, he is unlikely to be able to get any of the money. I hope his name is on the title deed of the house? Or there was a will clearly stating that he has a half-share in the house? Or some document signed by the brother to that effect? If not, the half-share may not be legally his at all. If he is willing to pay the utility bills for his brother, and he is using his own money, there isn't anything you can do about it if he refuses to stop.

                    The other issues, like being made to do household chores and support the children - that's something you need to work out with him. Those are not strictly speaking legal issues unless it comes to separation/divorce. If speaking to him about these doesn't work, or having your social worker speak to him, I don't think there is much you can do unless you are willing to threaten to leave him. And having threatened, you have to be willing to actually do so if he refuses to change.

                    For the future, if you fear that you will have to support him, I think you may have to consult a lawyer? Maybe your social worker can give some advice.

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                    • MathematicaM Offline
                      Mathematica
                      last edited by

                      His name cannot appear in his parent’s house as it’s also a hdb. Based on lawyer dealing with the inheritance, the house should be split among both brothers cos there’s no will. What I’m not happy is that instead of dealing with his bro who’s still staying in the parents house,he is giving me trouble for these past 4-5 years since his parents were gone. I’m trying to find out what are the options available, what can I do with it

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