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    Me Time!

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    • F Offline
      FishFingers
      last edited by

      janet88:
      FishFingers:


      We had been trying for a 3rd child for 2 months now.Felt that we are still young and recently when my wife went to see the doctor because of her sprained ankle,the doctor dropped her a bombshell and warned her to be careful because she is carrying another life inside her.MIL was quite happy and decided to stay put to take care of my wife until the baby is born.

      Yes,I am going to be a dad again.

      Hooray! She wanted to tell me when I go home next week but she just wanted to share the good news with me asap.

      To be honest,I am elated.It does not matter if it is a boy or girl.I don't mind 3 girls though.

      But the age gap between the girls and the baby will be almost 12 years.Will it cause any sibling rivalry or problems between the baby and her 2 zehzehs?Especially when I have a DD2 who is super sticky to me.

      :congrats: Fish Fingers. you're going to be a daddy again!!!
      the girls will be 12 years older than the baby...so you can tell your #2 she is going to be a jie jie.
      both of you are still young...should listen to govt and have more kids :evil: with your MIL around, you can rest assured wifey will be in good hands.

      We are only 31 and 35 respectively...I have a feeling that it will be more than 1 this time again.

      What if we have another twin pair of girls again?Are the chances high?Maybe I am asking a stupid question.

      How can I get DD2 to accept the younger sister/sisters if it really happens?DD2 does not seem to be very happy about it when her grandma told her about the looming arrival of her younger sister/sisters.

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • F Offline
        FishFingers
        last edited by

        janet88:
        FishFingers:


        We had been trying for a 3rd child for 2 months now.Felt that we are still young and recently when my wife went to see the doctor because of her sprained ankle,the doctor dropped her a bombshell and warned her to be careful because she is carrying another life inside her.MIL was quite happy and decided to stay put to take care of my wife until the baby is born.

        Yes,I am going to be a dad again.

        Hooray! She wanted to tell me when I go home next week but she just wanted to share the good news with me asap.

        To be honest,I am elated.It does not matter if it is a boy or girl.I don't mind 3 girls though.

        But the age gap between the girls and the baby will be almost 12 years.Will it cause any sibling rivalry or problems between the baby and her 2 zehzehs?Especially when I have a DD2 who is super sticky to me.

        :congrats: Fish Fingers. you're going to be a daddy again!!!
        the girls will be 12 years older than the baby...so you can tell your #2 she is going to be a jie jie.
        both of you are still young...should listen to govt and have more kids :evil: with your MIL around, you can rest assured wifey will be in good hands.

        We are only 31 and 35 respectively...I have a feeling that it will be more than 1 this time again.

        What if we have another twin pair of girls again?Are the chances high?Maybe I am asking a stupid question.

        How can I get DD2 to accept the younger sister/sisters if it really happens?DD2 does not seem to be very happy about it when her grandma told her about the looming arrival of her younger sister/sisters.

        BTW,already decided on Naval Base,Yishun or Canberra Pri for DD1 and DD2.Looks like St Nicks is not really the way to go for them.Judging from my wife's assessment of their academic abilities just before I left,she commented that they are most likely to repeat P4 and P5 instead of going to P6 next year.

        Just asking...when the girls reach Secondary 1 assuming Express Stream in 2020,they will be 14 by then.If they do well for their O Levels,they will be 18 or 19 if they are unfortunate enough to be retained once or repeat their O Levels depending on the secondary school principal,will they be able to qualify to study in JCs if they are 18 or 19?

        How's your DH,Janet?

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • J Offline
          janet88
          last edited by

          Hi Fish fingers,

          I guessed right. Your #2 will not be happy because she is afraid your attention will be focused on the newborn. At 11+/12, it will be even harder to convince her you will still love her as much...but as a guy, you won't be having too much of a problem, because mummy will be the one looking after the baby most of the time. assure her you will still love her. However as she will be promoted to jiejie, she would also need to help mummy look after little didi/meimei. Involve her in buying clothes, choosing names (after you and wife had shortlisted a few names) etc. basically more matters.

          If you have another set of twins, it will be double joy šŸ˜„

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • sharonkhooS Offline
            sharonkhoo
            last edited by

            FishFingers:

            How can I get DD2 to accept the younger sister/sisters if it really happens?DD2 does not seem to be very happy about it when her grandma told her about the looming arrival of her younger sister/sisters.
            Since your daughters are newly-integrated into your family, they may be concerned that they will be displaced by the baby. Depending on their nature, you can either boost their confidence by telling them how you will depend on them to be mature, caring etc etc, or that they will always be your \"little girls\" as they haven't finished growing up yet, and you will still be there for them etc etc. It may be that one daughter will need to hear one message, and the other a different message! Many parents and grandparents will tell older kids that they must learn to be more independent because their parents are going to be busy, they need to be more obedient so as not to stress their parents etc. I would discourage this sort of message which adds burdens to the kids (they are still children) and seems to make their parents' love dependent on their behaviour. You may not be able to stop this sort of message getting to your daughters altogether, but do your best to give them reassurance that there is enough love and care to spread around 3 kids, and they are not going to be made to grow up to become mini-adults too soon.
            FishFingers:
            Just asking...when the girls reach Secondary 1 assuming Express Stream in 2020,they will be 14 by then.If they do well for their O Levels,they will be 18 or 19 if they are unfortunate enough to be retained once or repeat their O Levels depending on the secondary school principal,will they be able to qualify to study in JCs if they are 18 or 19?
            When you say they will be 14 in 2020, do you mean they turn 14 in 2020, or that they will already be 14 on 1 Jan 2020? If they are turning 14 sometime in 2020, then they will be 2 yrs older than their cohort, and MOE's rule is that students may be up to 2 yrs older that their cohort. If they will already be 14 at the start of the school year, you may want to check with MOE about their situation.

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • starlight1968sgS Offline
              starlight1968sg
              last edited by

              Why so much rain recently? My "flags" are all over the place

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • F Offline
                FishFingers
                last edited by

                janet88:
                Hi Fish fingers,

                I guessed right. Your #2 will not be happy because she is afraid your attention will be focused on the newborn. At 11+/12, it will be even harder to convince her you will still love her as much...but as a guy, you won't be having too much of a problem, because mummy will be the one looking after the baby most of the time. assure her you will still love her. However as she will be promoted to jiejie, she would also need to help mummy look after little didi/meimei. Involve her in buying clothes, choosing names (after you and wife had shortlisted a few names) etc. basically more matters.

                If you have another set of twins, it will be double joy šŸ˜„
                Maybe when I am back,I will need to bring DD2 out for a short outing/drive to explain to her about the upcoming changes in the family and to give her the assurance that she and Big Zehzeh will still continue to be loved no less than her meimei/didi.

                I always do that when I had to talk to the girls in private.Did it just before I left for the US about her being caught red handed in her CA test.

                Venue is always at ECP or some prawning pond.

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • F Offline
                  FishFingers
                  last edited by

                  slmkhoo:
                  FishFingers:


                  How can I get DD2 to accept the younger sister/sisters if it really happens?DD2 does not seem to be very happy about it when her grandma told her about the looming arrival of her younger sister/sisters.

                  Since your daughters are newly-integrated into your family, they may be concerned that they will be displaced by the baby. Depending on their nature, you can either boost their confidence by telling them how you will depend on them to be mature, caring etc etc, or that they will always be your \"little girls\" as they haven't finished growing up yet, and you will still be there for them etc etc. It may be that one daughter will need to hear one message, and the other a different message! Many parents and grandparents will tell older kids that they must learn to be more independent because their parents are going to be busy, they need to be more obedient so as not to stress their parents etc. I would discourage this sort of message which adds burdens to the kids (they are still children) and seems to make their parents' love dependent on their behaviour. You may not be able to stop this sort of message getting to your daughters altogether, but do your best to give them reassurance that there is enough love and care to spread around 3 kids, and they are not going to be made to grow up to become mini-adults too soon.
                  FishFingers:
                  Just asking...when the girls reach Secondary 1 assuming Express Stream in 2020,they will be 14 by then.If they do well for their O Levels,they will be 18 or 19 if they are unfortunate enough to be retained once or repeat their O Levels depending on the secondary school principal,will they be able to qualify to study in JCs if they are 18 or 19?
                  When you say they will be 14 in 2020, do you mean they turn 14 in 2020, or that they will already be 14 on 1 Jan 2020? If they are turning 14 sometime in 2020, then they will be 2 yrs older than their cohort, and MOE's rule is that students may be up to 2 yrs older that their cohort. If they will already be 14 at the start of the school year, you may want to check with MOE about their situation.

                  I made it clear to my daughters that as long as they are still under 21,I am responsible for their upbringing,safety and characters.Unlimited independence yes but I am there to protect them as they are only 11 so they had to understand this point.There is only this much they can do so I don't expect them to do any heavy lifting.

                  I always teach my trainees that no one gets left behind.So no one in my family gets left behind naturally.

                  Ah yes,both girls will turn 14 in 2020.I was thinking if they are in Secondary 1 by then,they will qualify for JC at 18 if they do well and do not retain in secondary school.

                  My wife came to SG and started Sec 1 at 13,went to VJC at 17,got retained 1 year at J1,took her A Levels and graduated at 19.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • sharonkhooS Offline
                    sharonkhoo
                    last edited by

                    FishFingers:
                    Ah yes,both girls will turn 14 in 2020.I was thinking if they are in Secondary 1 by then,they will qualify for JC at 18 if they do well and do not retain in secondary school.


                    My wife came to SG and started Sec 1 at 13,went to VJC at 17,got retained 1 year at J1,took her A Levels and graduated at 19.
                    If they are in Sec 1 in 2020, they will only be 1 yr behind their cohort. Now that there are 5 yrs for Sec school (for those in Normal Academic), some students in J1 are probably turning 18 that year anyway. There is also Millennia Institute for students who want to do a 3-yr A level programme, and some of those students will turn 20 in their Pre-U 3 year. As long as they are not 2 yrs older than that, there's no problem.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • F Offline
                      FishFingers
                      last edited by

                      slmkhoo:
                      FishFingers:

                      Ah yes,both girls will turn 14 in 2020.I was thinking if they are in Secondary 1 by then,they will qualify for JC at 18 if they do well and do not retain in secondary school.


                      My wife came to SG and started Sec 1 at 13,went to VJC at 17,got retained 1 year at J1,took her A Levels and graduated at 19.

                      If they are in Sec 1 in 2020, they will only be 1 yr behind their cohort. Now that there are 5 yrs for Sec school (for those in Normal Academic), some students in J1 are probably turning 18 that year anyway. There is also Millennia Institute for students who want to do a 3-yr A level programme, and some of those students will turn 20 in their Pre-U 3 year. As long as they are not 2 yrs older than that, there's no problem.

                      Yeah,I have no problems as long as they study hard and get into the JC of their choice after their O Levels.Too bad the JC at my side is merging.My alma mater is also merging too.

                      Told them if they wanted to follow in my footsteps of being in the military or just be it just work in a normal job or in the civil sector,they have my support.

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • sharonkhooS Offline
                        sharonkhoo
                        last edited by

                        FishFingers:
                        Yeah,I have no problems as long as they study hard and get into the JC of their choice after their O Levels.Too bad the JC at my side is merging.My alma mater is also merging too.


                        Told them if they wanted to follow in my footsteps of being in the military or just be it just work in a normal job or in the civil sector,they have my support.
                        Must it be JC? Many young people these days prefer to go to poly as there are many more interesting courses offered, and there is still the opportunity to go on to university after that if they do well and are interested. Job opportunities for poly grads are good too, better than students with just A levels. I feel it's better to let kids know that there are range of options open to them rather than aim them at a particular path. That way, if they choose to do something different, or they are unable to get into a specific path, they won't feel so demoralised. It doesn't mean they won't work hard anyway.

                        Students don't really look to go to their parents' JCs do they? Neither of my kids had the remotest desire to go to mine, and 1 daughter is in her father's JC by chance, not by design. It's more a case of which one they can get in, and which one offers them the subject combination they prefer.

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