In-law problems?

[qms]

buds:

I truly pray that hubs will do us right... for once.

:xedfingers:

[autumnbronze]

buds:

ENOUGH.

Hey buds,

Your one word in bold says it all, sista ....

Must chant \"enough, enough, enough ...\" :rahrah: :rahrah: to keep yourself going when feeling down hor ...

So happy to know that you know where you stand :dancing: :dancing:

:hugs: :hugs: and and :xedfingers: :xedfingers: for ya

[RRMummy]

auntieM:

LKVM:

[quote=\"RRMummy\"]
okay, tell me where and when he can be whacked, i wanna go 'clubbing'... :rubhands:

I too can join u lah :rubhands:

Got action count me the 'lau Ah Lian' in hor :nunchuk:[/quote]err... later we kena police catch... 3 cha bo walking ard with giant clubs...

[autumnbronze]

LKVM:

Can this quote do for ur hubs?


~ A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning. ~

Ohhhhhhh, this is VERY nice LKVM. Am gonna 'post it' this on my notice board.

Thanks for sharing .... though it wasn't intended for me :oops: :oops:

[3Boys]

autumnbronze:

Just want to share a different perspective of the MIL issue .....

I don't know whether an MIL can ever truly love her DIL like her own daughter, but I do know that because they know that both they and the DIL love their son, hence they will be nice to their DIL.

My MIL also ran the household, taking care of her three boys. They hold her in high regard because she worked like mad, saving every penny to the point of stinging on herself to ensure they were well-provided for. She is not a bad or vindictive person. In fact, sad to say, she has done A LOT more for me than my own mom has in the 10 yrs that I have been married to DH. However, we both have VERY different perceptions of marriage as well as parenting, and that is where sometimes the conflict comes in. So, when DS is in her house, and if DH is not there, I let her be, in handling my DS and later explain to DS that what is allowed there is not allowed at home or in general on a frequent basis eg eating of sweets. I refrain from interfering, no matter how difficult it is sometimes, because I do not want my DS to be influenced from any negative vibes, as well as the fact that it is their house and I respect that. If DH is there, then I will request him to intervene.

I know she also cannot understand why do I have to travel with DH on his biz trips and leave DS behind with her (via her actions). Funnily, DH is the one who requests that I come with him. Not that she does not want to take care of him, but she is the sort of mother who put her life on hold to take care of her sons, and I think she kinda expects me to do the same.

Actually, I think what she really lacks is tact. She's been very untactful with some of her remarks over the years and I've had to bite my tongue. At least DH provides a listening ear. I attribute it to the fact that she does not have any daughters. The only time I really could not tahan her was when after DS was born and bcuz she had never breastfed, so she could not understand that aspect of motherhood and literally 'harassed' me. I had to beg my DH to talk to her and get her to lay off. Thank goodness he attended the pre-natal classes with me and had some idea about the benefits of breastfeeding.

Now, as I see my DS getting older year by year, I sometimes remind myself and my DH that I must never ever be a typical MIL. It is easier said than done. Its like a CEO giving up his job to retire or downgrading himself to the job of a taxi-driver (no offence intended). The insecurities that they feel in the loss/change of their jobs is one reason. So yeah, when MIL is in one of her moods, I just remind that to myself. Maybe I can be understanding because she has never been deliberately nasty to me. And most importantly, no matter how much I do not agree with most of her ways in bringing up my DS, I am assured that she truly does love him and will do anything for him. At least that is one common thread that we share.

So in essence, I can understand why MILs can never treat their DILs as daughters and can even be overprotective with regards to their married son. But that said, I strongly feel that that doesn't give them any teeny weeny bit of right to be nasty and unreasonable to their DILs. Weren't they a DIL too, once?? Funny how their memory fails when it comes to this phase of their life :roll: :roll:

So ladies, after reading some of your posts here, I really sympathize with you and at the same time, :salute: at the fact that you have overcome/are trying to overcome your 'situation' to the best of your abilities.

Nice write up. They are indeed a misunderstood species.....

[RRMummy]

autumnbronze:

LKVM:

Can this quote do for ur hubs?


~ A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning. ~

Ohhhhhhh, this is VERY nice LKVM. Am gonna 'post it' this on my notice board.

Thanks for sharing .... though it wasn't intended for me :oops: :oops:

Yes agree!! Very nice!! :celebrate:

[RRMummy]

3Boys:

autumnbronze:

Just want to share a different perspective of the MIL issue .....

Nice write up. They are indeed a misunderstood species.....

There are some who are misunderstood... but there are also some who are just down right mean and nasty..

Unfortunately not all MILs fall within the misunderstood species category.. and you will never truly understand until you are one of those unfortunate ones who is always always in their line of fire left right and center no matter what you do.. only GOD knows..

[duriz]

To all mummies, whether you have IL problems or not, Christian or not, my everyday prayers to share:


Dear God, let me walk with you
Although my steps are small
Stay beside me
Hold me hand
And never let me fall

When I’m nursing DD:

Dear God, you are like a mother to us all
Nourishing all creatures with food and blessing
Strengthen my child with my milk
And with the warmth of our nearness

[cherrygal]

Each time I talk about his mom and bro, DH jokingly calls me 'Xie Ming Ming', a character from the hugely popular taiwanese drama \"Love\".


Eh, I think I should be Jia Ling, the bullied DIL... haiz, blood is thicker than water... :faint:

[autumnbronze]

:offtopic:


psssssssssst, share with you something RRMummy ....

My mom is neither a 'maternalistic' mom nor an ideal MIL to my SILs.

Actually, I do understand what it means to be in the line of fire because this was the kind of r/s I had with my mom ....

The funny thing is, she cannot understand why their relationship is so estranged as she keeps blaming them for the breakdown.

I only came to this realization about my mom more so after I got married and especially after I gave birth because I had basis for comparison and analysis.

But I still try my best to be a filial daughter though my patience is running short because of her lack of sensitivity towards my DS.