In-law problems?

[kiasume]

3Boys:

kiasume:

In contrary, nobody will ever believe that my own mother and sister are like that towards me. :!:

Heh, my wife gets along better with my sis than her own sister.

Yeah! I have a good relationship with my in laws, BIL and SIL. We even travel together. We don't gossip each other.

As for my own mum and sis, I rest my case. Tension brew especially after my sis manged to get preggie and that is when hell breaks out. Jealousy starts to brew. I was in such a difficult situation that I developed depression after birth.

Now I just stay away from them, as I had enough of them. That was my brother advise to me.

If need be, better don't meet. It was so peaceful when I was like that back then in my early marriage w/o kids then.

While I am typing away, I just felt sad that I never have a good relationship with my mum despite me being the one who always help out the household chores in my younger days. I don't know why she hates me so much, other than she mentioned to me so many times that I look \"sickening\". Always reminding her of her SIL!

Can't imagine a mother saying that to her own child. I was only 5 years old.

[kiasume]

Anybody has this problem of sharing maid? My advise.....NEVER NEVER EVER SHARE MAID.


My sis suggested sharing maid when she knows that I am preggie. Keep asking me who will look after the child once I have given birth. I was thinking....wow! My sis is getting nicer to me already eh. So I thought might as well. Since I am the kind who don't really plan ahead.

Things got bad when she returns to work. Everyday after work, she will secretly asked the maid \"what's going on at home\". The maid told her that I let her child cry and cry and did not even go and attend to him. Can you believe it that she actually believes the maid! So that is how my sis started to think that I \"ill-treat\" her son.

When in actual fact, it is po po who does that to her child.

The maid also one kind, starts to come up with her story almost everyday.

Worse, she even told the maid to look after her son only. She started to shout at her and throws her weight around. Of course the maid listen to her lah.

When the maid was about to board the plane (she does not want to extend anymore), she actually called my handphone from the airport. She confessed everything to me and apologised for stirring up the problem. BOY! How mad I was with her. I told her to \"FUXX off\" and I hang her up. :!:

It was all too late.

I will never ever call her \"sis\". Because I never had one in the first place.
:faint:

[autumnbronze]

kiasume:

While I am typing away, I just felt sad that I never have a good relationship with my mum despite me being the one who always help out the household chores in my younger days.

You are not alone, dear :hugs:

If you need to talk, here's where you can unburden your woes

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=143202#143202

[Mrs Ang]

buds:

hquek:

Wow, I do envy you for your hubs. Perhaps you should have gently told her and smile, please dun tell sis in law, else she may be jealous and sad HER own hubby don't help her.

SIL's hubby (BIL) is also the take initiative kind. :love:
Just that SIL is more of a neat freak than i am...
and plus she has her own mother to take care of
her children. Her house is hardly messy and also
they do not cook very often.

My DH will help out on the houseworks too but I have to close one eye. Well....cannot expect too much or else I have to do all by myself

[janet88]

Mrs Ang,

I couldn't agree more with you. When hubby does housework, I have to close 2 eyes or else I will end up having to do it. He will pass comments like, 'you not happy, then do it yourself'. So the best thing is NOT seeing anything. See no evil. Hear no evil. HaHaHa.

[buds]

Fortunately my hubs is very thorough with housework.

If he started on something, he ensures the job gets
done in tip-top shape. Same with BIL... that's why
i do wonder how come MIL complains that they
were never like that as young growing boys. :?

Strange.. .. then again, mebbe it is just to stir up
trouble as usual, so what the heck yah? Just
close one eye on her. :lol:

[buds]

autumnbronze:

kiasume:

While I am typing away, I just felt sad that I never have a good relationship with my mum despite me being the one who always help out the household chores in my younger days.

You are not alone, dear :hugs:

Me three dear... until i had my #1... then things started to get better. :love:

I've also always been the one at her beck and call and yet still
her punching budsnana. :lol: Aniwaes, daddie and mumsie have
been my pillar of support & strength throughout the turbulences in
my marriage and also IL woes... they help keep my sanity in place
and constantly offering to share my emotional baggage so that i can
move on with life with a less burdening outlook. Things are indeed way
better now... and i am enjoying every minute of it.

There are mothers who can be mean & nasty to their own children for a
long time. MIL is such in a way.. Always creating unnecessary problems
for her children. Worse is when she carries tales from one place to
another and cause sibling relationship to go sour and awry. It's not
nice nor healthy. Aren't parents supposed to strengthen family ties
instead of wrecking it? Fabricating tales and tale bearing abt 1 child
to another and round the robin again.... what good does it do?

[angela]

Hi,


Long time din come in here for a chat after I gave birth to my #2.

When I was dating with my hb, my relationship with my mil is quite good. To me, she is a caring and understanding mother. Only after my #1, thing changed. She started her nonsense. But we still can stay peacefully under one roof. Only we cannot agree each other way of bringing up my girl. Then during pregancy with #2, things changed. At that time, she retired and stayed at home. When she is unhappy, she will just give you a bad face. She always wants ppl to give in to her. Near to my deliver, I really cannot take it so told my hb about his mum. My hb is a fulfil son. He will always give in to his mum no matter what. He just told me that I over-reacted and saying that his mum whole day stay at home doing nothing so not good tempered. What kind of excuse! My mum also stays at home but she will not behave like that.

When my SIL's children come to our house, she will just talk to them and ignored my gals. My hb said that our gals are still young dunno how to communicate with their grandparents that why my mil prefers talk to them. Last time, when they were young, they will still try to play with them. Only now, my #1 can communicate with her, she then starts to play or talk to her. Since she is whole day at home, she never cooks one hor. She just cooks when her other children come to our house or else she just buys her own food. Got 1 time she told my hb that she wants to cook koka instant noodles to my 2 yrs old gal. Happened that day i finished my work early so hb brought us out for dinner and he told me that. Then I told her toddler cannot eat instant noodles and my hb not happy with my remarks. Hb feels that I very fussy. I very concerned to the food my gal eat. I want her to take nutritious food.

Now, my BIL's wife is pregnant and going to deliver end of November. Both brothers can discuss to get a maid to help their mother as my mil will be looking after their baby. I disagree as later the maid need to look after whose kids? Hb always wants his mother to look after our kids but the problem is his mother does not want to. She always has many excuses.

Anyway, now I am hoping that my mil will stay at my bil's house to look after their bb.

[janet88]

Telling tales from one place to another is the worse thing to happen…but it’s causing problems from sister-in-law to another. It’s worse if one particular daughter-in-law sucks up to her.

[kiasume]

buds:

There are mothers who can be mean & nasty to their own children for a
long time. MIL is such in a way.. Always creating unnecessary problems
for her children. Worse is when she carries tales from one place to
another and cause sibling relationship to go sour and awry. It's not
nice nor healthy. Aren't parents supposed to strengthen family ties
instead of wrecking it? Fabricating tales and tale bearing abt 1 child
to another and round the robin again.... what good does it do?

I have been asking myself this question too. Why my mum hates me so much? Is it just because I look like someone she just don't like?

The day it strikes me to stop being at her beck and calls was when I am not getting much support from her. I am those type that will never seek anybody for help unless I am in a dead lock. Almost three times I was in that situation with regards to kids falling sick and hence I thought my mum could help out. And three times she turned me down flatly. Reason? For her selfish behavious ....\"I am going out now, going shopping. I cannot help you\". These were the exact words she said to me over the phone. The situation I was in was when I really needed help to separate the 2 kids from each other as the younger ones is merely 6 mths old and the older ones have HFMD. :x :x

If my sis were to ask her for help, she will flatly dropped everything and attends to her.

This is the type of \"mother\" I have. :x

That was the last straw for me. Being bashful as I am, I pulled my kids out of her place and put the children in the CC.

On the contrary, my MIL is a very different mother totally. Most of the time, she will call and see if we are all okay. If for any one moment, my hubby said that \"whoever\" is sick and not going to school. WOW, the next day she will automatically comes down to see the child. Help out in looking after the kids. Very auto. I am very grateful for her gesture. :love: