In-law problems?
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Hi cwc,
I like the idea you stand firm on your approach and believe in dealing with mil....As much as possible, hubby would want me to \"give way\" since mil old already....I sort like \" then I dun care....dun bother...dun talk\" lor, stay away any sensitive conversation with mil. Just typical \"yes\" or \"no\"....dun have prelong type of chitchat...i guess i try and prefer current dil & mil relationship :roll:
Some years back, she used to stay with my hubby's bro family but had a heated aurgment with my sis-in-law.....she was so mad and angry that she called my hubby to pick her thus from that day onwards, she stayed permanently \"forever\" at my place cos my hubby is the other only son.
I miss the time with only me, hubby, kid..................................so much freedom and carefree.
But on the other hand, I must admit she helps alot in taking care of my kids and give me a piece of mind when I am working...
so contradicting right? Love and Hate relationship......guess need to know more on \"give\" and \"take\"... -
cwc:
Basically not much choice lah....MIL & FIL always 'fighting' and my hubby had to run between 2 homes frequently....very tiring for him. While it was a stupid move to agree :stupid:, guess hubby appreciate my sacrifice. Since they stay here, make sense to rent out whole house instead of 1 room only. Now that MIL has rental $, we stopped giving allowance as need to incur other cost....Staying here means good $, less household chores and still can go out earn more. There's one advantage tho, now with her around at night, my hubby and I can have some couple time such as supper, late night NTUC etc. .... But now with helper, not so bad liao, at least have more free time.
Hi cwc,
Wow, reading your post makes me quite envious of you!
I am one of those rare ones in this poll to answer \"YES\", if given the choice, would I stay with my in-laws? Why? Because of all those advantages you mentioned:
1. No need for your hubby to run between 2 houses especially he is the filial type will sure to take care of his parents.
2. Your PILs are renting out their flat to earn rental income. Financially independant no need to burden you and your hubby. This is great!
3. Translated into no need for you all to give them extra allowance = more cashflow for your household - not bad at all!
4. Your MIL is now working so one of you are out of the house most of the day - this is really perfect! I believe it is always easier to face FIL at home then MIL.
5. Can have couple time now since PIL are at home to baby-sit the kids most of the time - really good one this! Also somebody around to keep an eye on the maid/helper - quite crucial.
6. Your hubby's support for you to be a SAHM, got helper, got time to go on ksp - wah....I envy you! Hee....hee...
Your situation is not bad at all cwc! By all means come here to vent your frus...life cannot be too perfect whatever the circumstances.
I am definitely quite envious!
:celebrate: -
DesertWind:
Hi DesertWind,
Hi cwc,
Wow, reading your post makes me quite envious of you!
I am one of those rare ones in this poll to answer \"YES\", if given the choice, would I stay with my in-laws? Why? Because of all those advantages you mentioned:
1. No need for your hubby to run between 2 houses especially he is the filial type will sure to take care of his parents.
2. Your PILs are renting out their flat to earn rental income. Financially independant no need to burden you and your hubby. This is great!
3. Translated into no need for you all to give them extra allowance = more cashflow for your household - not bad at all!
4. Your MIL is now working so one of you are out of the house most of the day - this is really perfect! I believe it is always easier to face FIL at home then MIL.
5. Can have couple time now since PIL are at home to baby-sit the kids most of the time - really good one this! Also somebody around to keep an eye on the maid/helper - quite crucial.
6. Your hubby's support for you to be a SAHM, got helper, got time to go on ksp - wah....I envy you! Hee....hee...
Your situation is not bad at all cwc! By all means come here to vent your frus...life cannot be too perfect whatever the circumstances.
I am definitely quite envious!
:celebrate:
You sure is POSITIVE......only see the GOOOOOOOOD points....ha ha.
#1 - agree 100%, no need to run 2 house.....BUT imagine having to face them full-time and step in to diffuse all the arguments which can happen quite often....no longer out of sight out of mind. House is no longer haven.....
#3 - extra cashflow - quite insignificant cos Double utilities, extra groceries and medical bills.
#5 - FIL dementia, goes round dirtying house..part-time helper only day-time and weekdays.... So if MIL not around, we cannot go out. Based on past few maids experience (I was working then), with MIL = maid all asked to quit within 6 months....I had to persuade them to complete 2year contract. Also, staying together means we become main driver to ferry them around to run errands
#2,4,6 - Agree. But #6 came long after many things happen....and helper only started ~ 3 months ago (if still no helper, probably I'll be in depression liao) Let's face it, it's because I'm a SAHM, that's why he can be rest assured that kids are taken care of, in-laws are monitored and therefore can go to work in peace instead of getting calls from MIL everyday.........
Frankly, I believe everyone has their own frustration and problems....once in a while must vent. For now, I am happy....cos' have a helper to settle Mon-Fri, just worried about the day when MIL stop working....she's not young you know....anytime she may just feel too tired to work......then hell will resurface again :shock: -
Hi cwc,
I must say you are the woman...to be able to put up with in-laws staying at your place. :udawoman: renting out their place and staying at yours.
No longer enjoying the freedom you used to have. Fortunately, your MIL is working but there will be a day when she is TOO old to continue.
We all have our frustrations and of course THIS is the place to vent it. -
EatNonStop:
Think we same same lah, hubby also asked me to try as much as possible, give in.........old people, their brain and behaviour already all fixed, no way they will change, so just ignore them. So I also same lah, typical yes, no, nod head or pretend didn't hear or heard wrongly cos I seriously not good in HokkienHi cwc,
I like the idea you stand firm on your approach and believe in dealing with mil....As much as possible, hubby would want me to \"give way\" since mil old already....I sort like \" then I dun care....dun bother...dun talk\" lor, stay away any sensitive conversation with mil. Just typical \"yes\" or \"no\"....dun have prelong type of chitchat...i guess i try and prefer current dil & mil relationship :roll:EatNonStop:
ME too, missed those days. Remembered I had such a PEACEFUL 3 hours recentlyI miss the time with only me, hubby, kid..................................so much freedom and carefree.
But on the other hand, I must admit she helps alot in taking care of my kids and give me a piece of mind when I am working...
so contradicting right? Love and Hate relationship......guess need to know more on \"give\" and \"take\"... when one of the children brought PIL out for dinner.....HAVEN....helper also not around.....suddenly, the house is MINE!!! ONLY MINE!!!
But again, must still admit, I do enjoy the 'couple time' that I can now enjoy thanks to them staying here. Well, we cannot have everything
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janet_lee88:
Thank you thank you.....but actually, I believe there are many many out there who put up with in-laws as well and can still maintain good relationship. I know I can be quite fussy too and definitely not a sweet talker (dun ask me to be nice when I'm cross.....I dun shout at you already good horHi cwc,
I must say you are the woman...to be able to put up with in-laws staying at your place. :udawoman: renting out their place and staying at yours.
No longer enjoying the freedom you used to have. Fortunately, your MIL is working but there will be a day when she is TOO old to continue.
We all have our frustrations and of course THIS is the place to vent it. Suspect MIL is also venting somewhere :lol: .
To be fair, my MIL also doing her part, while she can't control her urge to open her mouth, I believe she also try to keep within certain boundary.....if she were to behave like those drama show MIL....can't imagine what will happen.
Just praying very hard, VERY HARD......that she'll work for another 3 years....then I'll be ready to start work cos' DD will complete PSLE then.
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cwc, we seems to be in the same boat lor......
Does your mil have this behaviour .... when things happen, she has alot of \"comments\" example
Conversation :
Me : Hubby lost his car key, he forgot where he placed it.
mil : huh? why so careless, how come he never put in your bag ?? Why you didnot ask him to put inside your bag?
Me : speechless....
Me : Wen (my daughter), where did you put your school card? I had asked you to put in your drawer right?
Wen : Mummy, I dont know, I forgot where I put it.
Mil (out of sudden) : see lah, see lah...how can you ask your daughter to keep her own thing?? you should have kept it for her..see now lost already.
Me : speechless
Afew years back, sis-in-law had a miscarriage.
Me : so sad that sis-in-law had a miscarriage. Hope she recover soon
mil : why ? why happen to Fen (sil), must be her husband who shifted the furniture a few days ago. If not, how come almost come to 3 mths then kena miscarriage.
Me : speechless.
Thanks God, soon after that, my sil preggy again and had a handsome son
Do the above sound familiar to you ?
This thread becomes my \"venting machine\" haha -
This is OUR venting place! :rotflmao:
Err yah.. i still lurk around.
Aniwaes, the incidences you cited above only
goes to show that as the DIL under her thumb
you are damned if you do and damned if you
don't... :roll:
Why bother.. why even bother getting all flustered
up.. you know jolly well the end result.. you still lose,
but at least venting it out here will make you less likely
to go :siao:. :rotflmao: -
Ha ha. This is interesting. My hubby has been complaining about my sudden interest in KSP as I have been going online quite a lot. He even threaten to come in and see what is getting me so hooked on....arggghhh, I shouldn't have used my initials
what a giveaway.
Anyway, this is my story....
My part-time helper only comes on weekdays and daytime. Middle-aged and quite a nice lady. One day, MIL saw FIL walking in wobbly manner, so asked helper to massage FIL's legs....helper agreed. I opposed but MIL insisted. So for next few days, MIL specifically gave instruction every morning to helper to massage FIL a few times each day....even instruct me to oversee and make sure helper does it.
One fine day, hubby came home early,
Hubby : How come helper massaging FIL leg? Who asked her to?
Me : I look at MIL direction
MIL : NO HOR!!! Not me hor!!! I din hor!!! Helper herself go and do it one. Must be FIL ask her to. Dun know why helper go and massage. I did not hor!!! (very vehemently denied) :shock:
Well, hubby scolded her and also insisted no more massage as helper is a lady, not appropriate. So you see, this is just 1 of the MANY MANY things that MIL will say/do and then denied vehemently -
EatNonStop:
Hey, I get this kind of comments too...plus salt and sugar added :xDoes your mil have this behaviour .... when things happen, she has alot of \"comments\" example
Conversation :
Me : Hubby lost his car key, he forgot where he placed it.
mil : huh? why so careless, how come he never put in your bag ?? Why you didnot ask him to put inside your bag?
Me : speechless....
Me : Wen (my daughter), where did you put your school card? I had asked you to put in your drawer right?
Wen : Mummy, I dont know, I forgot where I put it.
Mil (out of sudden) : see lah, see lah...how can you ask your daughter to keep her own thing?? you should have kept it for her..see now lost already.
Me : speechless
Do the above sound familiar to you ?
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