In-law problems?
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pingathot:
Hi mummies, m new in this thread. Just read some and would like to comment too. My mil also does not boil 'cooling water' for me when she brought just a small bottle just to give to her son. I think mayb cantonese mil does tt. Mine also cantonese. And I don't suggest staying too near too. They'll just pop-in whenever they like. Sometimes Sunday we would like to snuggle on bed but fil will knock on the door at 6 plus early in the morning. I d mentioned to my mil and guess what my fil said \" The sun already out\" what? still early? Sometimes fil will pop in and sit at the living room watching TV without speaking. He'll come anytime any day whenever he has no where to go. Oh my god! That's my case when we stayed so near. At the end, I decided to sell our house! Mayb I m too much but I cld not tolerate anymore. When they learnt that I moved back to my parents', can you imagine how they feel? HA HA!
Hi pingathot, although my PIL also hv a set of our house key but they will not barge in our hse without any permission. Normally they will call us first b4 coming to visit us. Moreover, my MIL will not awake till 10am.
If I am u, I think I will do the same or juz change the house key. They r simply intruding on yr privacy... -
jedamum:
My dd1 has all her stuff at home but nobody plays with her. My time with her in fact was quite limited due to my work commitment. Beside spending time coaching her homework, most of the time, she was alone playing her toys. I am really preoccupied with my dd2 who is now 8 1/2 mth. Every weekend, she will look forward to go to my IL place so tat all the attention will be on her alone. I am okay with this but the only thing tat I am unhappy abt is tat they will intervene whenever we try to reprimand my dd1 if she made a mistake. Instead my MIL will immediately tell my hb off in front of my dd1. Behind his back, she told my dd1 which i overheard tat my hd was insane, no need to bother with his words. Really :mad:
my ds1 used to compare why granny can buy XXX brand(ed) ice-cream often while we cannot. i had to explain the whole concept about the grans having no more financial commitment and we have to save $$ for his education. then very funny, my ds2 when eating those brand(ed) foodstuff will go,'wah...my mother said very expensive leh!' :oops:ectanz:
Mine too. Treated like princess... Will yr kids compare such difference in treatment between hm n IL place? My dd1 does.. She will ask why she has to do everything herself at hm but at granny hse, was being served. She in fact looking forward to go to their hm to stay on every weekend as she is freed fr doing anything.
my ds2 hardly compare. he is happy go lucky type.
my ds1 do compare, but he accept my reasoning.
they look forward to staying over, but most of their fav stuff (doodling, adhoc craft, toys, books) are at home, so they would feel bored unless the grans line up some programe for them.
Now, I hv resigned my current job 3 mth ago to become SAHM, partially due to my dd1. At least I hv more time with her in terms of fetching her to n fro school n is able to schedule some time to play with her when dd2 is napping. -
ectanz:
Hi Ectanz, I do understand how you feel even though my IL's never do that.(I think, as i never \"caught\" them before) My mum is the one who will do that to her DILs and Children. Whenever we tried to reprimand our children, she will side with her grandchildren, scold us openly and behind our back console the kids using inappropriate words! I fully understand she 心疼 her grandchildren but not at the expense of us! How are we going to teach our kids the right values? So my SIL don't like to visit my mum. I don't really blame her.I am okay with this but the only thing tat I am unhappy abt is tat they will intervene whenever we try to reprimand my dd1 if she made a mistake. Instead my MIL will immediately tell my hb off in front of my dd1. Behind his back, she told my dd1 which i overheard tat my hd was insane, no need to bother with his words. Really :mad:
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pingathot:
And I don't suggest staying too near too. They'll just pop-in whenever they like. Sometimes Sunday we would like to snuggle on bed but fil will knock on the door at 6 plus early in the morning. I d mentioned to my mil and guess what my fil said \" The sun already out\" what? still early? Sometimes fil will pop in and sit at the living room watching TV without speaking. He'll come anytime any day whenever he has no where to go. Oh my god! That's my case when we stayed so near. At the end, I decided to sell our house! Mayb I m too much but I cld not tolerate anymore. When they learnt that I moved back to my parents', can you imagine how they feel? HA HA!
OMG :yikes: Go to your place to watch TV ? The TV in your house must have sharper resolution... :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Stay nearby will also have this problem of gate-crashing...much better if staying both ends of Singapore like East and West like my case.
I don't fancy the idea of his mother staying near...she will come uninvited to see what I have in my house...she has done that before and hinted for a set of keys...pretended NOT to hear and told hubby NO WAY. -
Better not to stay together or nearby unless u need their help daily. Otherwise, there’s no privacy to talk about!!
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In-laws alway want to be the angel and we the parents r the devil!!
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Flowermonaster:
Hi flowermonaster, I hv tried to instill the correct values in my dd1 when she was young. However, due to my MIL's intervention in our teaching values, sometime I unsure whether my dd1 will confuse by our conflicting values. Fortunately, my dd1 will be gg to P1 next yr, by then I shld be able to find excuse to minimize the no. Of trip to their place.
How are we going to teach our kids the right values? So my SIL don't like to visit my mum. I don't really blame her.ectanz:
I am okay with this but the only thing tat I am unhappy abt is tat they will intervene whenever we try to reprimand my dd1 if she made a mistake. Instead my MIL will immediately tell my hb off in front of my dd1. Behind his back, she told my dd1 which i overheard tat my hd was insane, no need to bother with his words. Really :mad:
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kids_r_innocent:
Better not to stay together or nearby unless u need their help daily. Otherwise, there's no privacy to talk about!!
I wish I can. Previously, they r staying in west n in order not to stay too near to them, I purposely instigated my hb to apply new flat at north east. But hor, they sell their flat n moved to east, juz 15 mins drive. Sian men! -
last night as usual i had to fetch my boy home. when it was time to go home after dinner, my boy threw temper & refused to wear his shoes,so mil tel him nicely he’s gg home liao, must wear shoes. so my boy sit down & wear his shoes but the moment i walk out of their front door(i expect my boy to follow behind me), my boy threw temper, started crying & screaming again. so i asked him wats wrong? Y are u crying? immediately mil came up & carry my boy & tel me he doesnt want to go home. i tel her aiya this morning oso like that, throw temper. & when my mil carry my boy, she saw my son staring at me & said in a frightened tone "Y is he staring at u like tat? as though u look so scary!" the worst thing is she can carry on telling my boy how scary i look which is NOT TRUE.
sign…at this moment i really want to push her away & bring my boy home.Wat nonsenses is she yaking abt? my boy is not even staring at me, he was looking at the aeroplane in the sky…i was already pek chek cos after a long day at work i juz want to quickly fetch my son & go home. -
Why ur MIL said in a frightened tone? Now is 7mth, she trying to scare who? Or she scare herself for nothing? How old is ur DS? I think should be quite young.
mummyJune:
last night as usual i had to fetch my boy home. when it was time to go home after dinner, my boy threw temper & refused to wear his shoes,so mil tel him nicely he's gg home liao, must wear shoes. so my boy sit down & wear his shoes but the moment i walk out of their front door(i expect my boy to follow behind me), my boy threw temper, started crying & screaming again. so i asked him wats wrong? Y are u crying? immediately mil came up & carry my boy & tel me he doesnt want to go home. i tel her aiya this morning oso like that, throw temper. & when my mil carry my boy, she saw my son staring at me & said in a frightened tone \"Y is he staring at u like tat? as though u look so scary!\" the worst thing is she can carry on telling my boy how scary i look which is NOT TRUE.
sign..at this moment i really want to push her away & bring my boy home.Wat nonsenses is she yaking abt? my boy is not even staring at me, he was looking at the aeroplane in the sky...i was already pek chek cos after a long day at work i juz want to quickly fetch my son & go home.
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