In-law problems?

[ansh0000]

I believe grandparents-parents-children relationship is important in a child’s upbringing. It instill a sense of fillial and respect for elders in the child.


Yes, my PIL are super naggy. I don’t speak to them alot unless there is any topic that interest them for dicussion.

I appreciate my MIL that she is not very particular at who do the housework and both of my PIL are willing to take care of my son when I work late.

So when you compare "bad" versus "good"…living with them tends to be more tolerable

[janet88]

Chenonceau:

First off, I don't wanna move in with my son because I dun know what kind of wife he will marry. Secondly, I dun even know if my son can buy a house big enough to welcome me. Thirdly, I pointed out that MIL's own mother (my Grandmother-in-Law) refused to stay with any of HER DILs because all three were very assertive people (and hence, why does SHE insist to stay with us so much that she would rather leave her husband alone in her flat to come stay with me... when her own mother didn't!!??).


This is easier said than done because whenever she acts up, the human reaction is to fight back and hurt... and that means to be unkind.

Hi Chenonceau,
:goodpost: I agree with you completely !!!
Once we have to fight back, someone will be hurt...and if the DIL emerges the winner through true facts, there will be lots of mean things mentioned about her.

I don't know what kind of wife my son will marry in future. Like I told my hubby, I don't even know if he can afford to buy a flat of his own with inflation and escalating prices...maybe he and his wife may even have to stay in my flat.

It's rather selfish your MIL leaves her own husband to stay by himself and stay with you. What's the logic ? Is it because she doesn't want to look after him ?

[Chenonceau]

Janet… I dun quite know why she would rather spend her time bossing me, my kids and my helper around than with her husband. Maybe it gives her satisfaction to boss us around and my FIL won’t let her boss him? Or maybe she loves us all too much to let go.


I really dunno.

[janet88]

Chenonceau:

Janet... I dun quite know why she would rather spend her time bossing me, my kids and my helper around than with her husband. Maybe it gives her satisfaction to boss us around and my FIL won't let her boss him? Or maybe she loves us all too much to let go.


I really dunno.

Could it be becos you have a helper...so she finds it thrilling to be around your place. When I had a helper then, she tried to get near to her to find out more info about me.

[racoon12]

Chenonceau and other mummies,

Thank you very much for your advises… look like i need to tame down my own temper, plan my strategy and build up my courage to fight the ‘devil’ myself.

Once again, thank you very much…

[kittybank]

do yr parents and yr in-laws visit each other? if so, is there any rule or practice that it must be the husband’s side to initiate a visit to the wife’s parents?

[ectanz]

wormy:

do yr parents and yr in-laws visit each other? if so, is there any rule or practice that it must be the husband's side to initiate a visit to the wife's parents?

Not at all. My MIL not even visit my parents during my wedding preparation, not to mention other occasions.

By right, my MIL should initiate a call to my mum to ask her for any particular request in order to include these things during 提亲. Instead she asked my hb to check with my parents. In the end, my dad had to get these things done on my MIL's behalf. :stompfeet:

[Flowermonaster]

wormy:

do yr parents and yr in-laws visit each other? if so, is there any rule or practice that it must be the husband's side to initiate a visit to the wife's parents?

My IL only visited my parents twice in my 14 years of marriage. One when they come to discuss our marriage, the other was the first CNY after we married. They also seldom called my parents to talk. Whenever my mum knows that my MIL comes to Spore, she will try to call our place & talk to her but never vice versa. So in the end my mum also never bother Liao. There was once my mum wanted to visit my IL from Malaysia, knowing my IL are not a very good host, I quickly persuade her not to go. My ILs are good people just that they are not use or may be don't like to entertain guest. Seldom see guest/neighbours in their house other than their children, grandchildren. They are polite to guest but can see very cold loh.

[BeContented]

Hmmm…think my parents tried initially during CNY & during kids’ birthday celebration, they would make the first move to strike a conversation with my ILs. But somehow, unable to chat (totally different types of people) and worse was FIL would kept quiet - almost to the point of ignoring. Think my parents gave up after a few tries…so nowadays, my parents would just make very polite greetings and that’s it.

[coolit]

My father-in-law would just keep quiet and my dad has also given up after a long time.

The 2 mothers would just smile but keep their distance. I wish they can get along a bit
better but since they only see each other about 1-2 a year, it is a tolerable situation.