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    In-law problems?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
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    • F Offline
      Flowermonaster
      last edited by

      Why some MIL so mean? Could it be they got nothing better to do? Like no hobby, so making things difficult for DIL and want to be involved in everything becomes her hobby? if ILs got own programs, will they still find time to be so concern about their DIL? Just wondering..... :?

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      • C Offline
        Chenonceau
        last edited by

        sall:
        I don't think it's fair to say that Teochew mils are wayang and overbearing. It depends on the personality of the mil, NOT the DIALECT GROUP.


        No lah... Funz was poking fun at herself only. :rotflmao:

        Right Funz? 😆

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        • L Offline
          LOLMum
          last edited by

          Flowermonaster:
          Why some MIL so mean? Could it be they got nothing better to do? Like no hobby, so making things difficult for DIL and want to be involved in everything becomes her hobby? if ILs got own programs, will they still find time to be so concern about their DIL? Just wondering..... :?


          it is like a circle (no beginning no ending). many people (past, current and future) do not know how to be parents. most (especially our grandparents and parents) follow the examples of their parents and the families they married into. to them especially the women, \"oh i was treated in this manner, so this should be the way i handle my kids/sil/dil\" (kinda like tradition :siao: ).

          the family values and how a family is raised play a part in how the kids want his own future family to be like. that is also why so many highly educated parents still put the value of a boy above a girl cos' that's their family value for many generations.

          besides, there were limited parenting books, internet access etc available in spore some 20 years ago especially for the average joe.

          honestly, if i have to handle difficult family members, i dont know what kind of person i would be now. just like a village girl living in a city for a few years, how much of that \"purity\" would she be able to retain.

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          • F Offline
            Flowermonaster
            last edited by

            LOLMum:

            it is like a circle (no beginning no ending). many people (past, current and future) do not know how to be parents. most (especially our grandparents and parents) follow the examples of their parents and the families they married into. to them especially the women, \"oh i was treated in this manner, so this should be the way i handle my kids/sil/dil\" (kinda like tradition :siao: ).
            Could it be human nature? My friend told me his nephew, who is in Army now, was being purposely \"punished\" by his corporal (don't know if that's what they called). He said next time he will do the same to those newly enrol army boys. :yikes:
            It could be the same as MIL's mentality! :siao:

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            • L Offline
              LOLMum
              last edited by

              haha, maybe is an eye for an eye mentality. :rotflmao:

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              • R Offline
                racoon12
                last edited by

                Dear Mummies,

                I would like to apologise for stepping into the dialect group when i venting my anger. So sorry…

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                • L Offline
                  LOLMum
                  last edited by

                  haha, you only have 1 mil, so natural path of thought would be dialect group, so for me, wasnt a big deal. :imcool:

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                  • A Offline
                    Angelight
                    last edited by

                    Actually every dialect group will have difficult MILs. Mine is Cantonese. She is not wayang type, but the ‘still waters run deep’ type. When she is angry, she will not show it openly but quietly backstabs from behind. That is even more scary than the wayang type.

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                    • C Offline
                      coolit
                      last edited by

                      Yes mine is also cantonese, she does not wayang at all. She just uses words to hurt and it is so subtle that most of the time, you feel that she is jabbing you but if you complain, it seems you are unreasonable.

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                      • FunzF Offline
                        Funz
                        last edited by

                        Chenonceau:
                        sall:

                        I don't think it's fair to say that Teochew mils are wayang and overbearing. It depends on the personality of the mil, NOT the DIALECT GROUP.



                        No lah... Funz was poking fun at herself only. :rotflmao:

                        Right Funz? 😆

                        Yup, yup. Just hvg some fun at my own expense. No offense to anyone.

                        Think all of us are not that prejudiced. Just that there is always that age old stigma attached to each dialect grp and inevitably, that will be discussed as we try to find make up some excuse for why certain mil act a certain way.

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