In-law problems?

[TheAnswer]

Funz:

janet_lee88:

Was informed by hub that his mother doesn't have any 'lai see'. Told him it is not the amount that matters...even if just $2...but if she doesn't have any 'lai see', then the suay one is her.

I learned long ago never to say such things to DH. No one likes their own family to be criticised no matter how bad they are. Even when MIL does something that appear to frustrate DH, I will assure him instead, that all is ok, no need to be so upset with the old folks. If I join in and rant against his mum, before I know it he will get defensive and I will be on the receiving end of his frustrations. Not worth it.

I also learnt that the hard way. When I see him frustrated, it's best I keep quiet n leave him alone! Saying more is just going to aggrevate situations.

[vinegar]

TheAnswer:

Funz:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Was informed by hub that his mother doesn't have any 'lai see'. Told him it is not the amount that matters...even if just $2...but if she doesn't have any 'lai see', then the suay one is her.

I learned long ago never to say such things to DH. No one likes their own family to be criticised no matter how bad they are. Even when MIL does something that appear to frustrate DH, I will assure him instead, that all is ok, no need to be so upset with the old folks. If I join in and rant against his mum, before I know it he will get defensive and I will be on the receiving end of his frustrations. Not worth it.

I also learnt that the hard way. When I see him frustrated, it's best I keep quiet n leave him alone! Saying more is just going to aggrevate situations.[/quote]sometx quite difficult...esp.when he makes false accusation

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

now i am no longer enjoy going out wf DH even there is chance for us to go out as couple. Indeed it has created a strain in our r/s. We do things separately nowadays.Coz I no longer wanna share my thought or feelings wf him...knowing that he'll share everything wf his mum. He seems doesn't understand...coz he has lived wf his mum for the past 32yrs.He feels it is a norm for her to call everyday,he feels it is norm to share everything wf her.


I've to learn to accept it...even after 10yrs of marriage...i am still learning to accept.Coz he expects me to accept it.

I understand his difficulties.Coz if one day he ignores her mum's call or doesn't share his daily life wf her,she'll be upset.

I would rather go out wf friends than wf DH nowadays.I would rather share my feelings wf my friends....I would rather do things alone,if i can't find any friends.

How did he manage his clingy mum before marriage? Like say if you guys are out on a date and his mum calls?

[vinegar]

How did he manage his clingy mum before marriage? Like say if you guys are out on a date and his mum calls?[/quote]


That time,he was still staying wf his mum,so seldom call.But called a lot during our wedding preparation.By that time,it was oredi too late to pull out coz we oredi ROM.

During our first few months,after the wedding,my DH went bk to ILs home few days a week.Yes, we stayed separately.I stayed in our new home,while he went bk n stayed there few days per wk…just bcoz my MIL kept telling me that:"our home cannot go without my DH".So i asked my DH go bk.

[vinegar]

vinegar:

How did he manage his clingy mum before marriage? Like say if you guys are out on a date and his mum calls?

That time,he was still staying wf his mum,so seldom call.But called a lot during our wedding preparation.By that time,it was oredi too late to pull out coz we oredi ROM.

During our first few months,after the wedding,my DH went bk to ILs home few days a week.Yes, we stayed separately.I stayed in our new home,while he went bk n stayed there few days per wk...just bcoz my MIL kept telling me that:\"our home cannot go without my DH\".So i asked my DH go bk.[/quote]

[TheAnswer]

I have learnt how to ‘study’ eye rolling and face changing gestures. When I see that, I go on extra alert mode, zips off quickly to do other stuff before things blow up. Things usual subside quickly if I hit the right button!

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

vinegar:

How did he manage his clingy mum before marriage? Like say if you guys are out on a date and his mum calls?

That time,he was still staying wf his mum,so seldom call.But called a lot during our wedding preparation.By that time,it was oredi too late to pull out coz we oredi ROM.

During our first few months,after the wedding,my DH went bk to ILs home few days a week.Yes, we stayed separately.I stayed in our new home,while he went bk n stayed there few days per wk...just bcoz my MIL kept telling me that:\"our home cannot go without my DH\".So i asked my DH go bk.

[/quote]

Guess it was a wrong move to allow him to go back and stay for a few days a week after u guys moved out.
Perhaps think positive n make plans with DH for V Day celebration tmr?

[vinegar]

thks for suggestion.but we’ve not talked for days.no mood to go out coz he would probably busy answering his mother’s calls. Quite sick of being leave alone in the restaurant by him.

[vinegar]

seriously,he always asks me not to bother abt it.I reali try hard not to…but…not when esp… i’ve to reheat n reheat the dishes again,coz he nid to go to his mum’s pl last minute or to answer her calls

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

seriously,he always asks me not to bother abt it.I reali try hard not to....but.....not when esp... i've to reheat n reheat the dishes again,coz he nid to go to his mum's pl last minute or to answer her calls

:grphug: honestly, he needs to put his foot down n stop pampering her as and when she wants. Otherwise really can't do anything about it.