In-law problems?

[sashimi]

winth:

We used to visit them Saturdays and Sundays, until my husband himself said, STOP. Cannot tahan. Bec when he's there, he will need to sit for hours to hear complaints about 'price of fish', 'problems with my FIL (got affair)', 'problems with my BIL (juvenile problems - now got court case)', 'house got leaking problem', 'no money', endless issues.

Yes, same. 99999 topics out of 100000 that come out of my MIL mouth is about money, prices and costs. It drives me NUTS.

I want to state that I am very objective about respect and people, and I will always find ways to find respect for a person. But some people make it very hard for me.

[winth]

[quote]my husband will go 'ng..ng' nod nod...haha..ya...ya lor... then tell me he only understand 50% of the hokkien conversation with my dad[/quote]
same lor... DH told me half the time he wasn't listening to his mum ranting away too. But bec her voice is really loud, I haven't come to a point where I can be immuned to her yet.

Plus my SIL's voice is loud plus sharp, so it does sound like you're in a market or something when they talk. And sometimes, I just dun understand how come women just talk non-stop.

disclaimer: me a 100% woman too, but i talk very little, and only on need-be basis.

Don't stone me. :siam:

[sashimi]

buds:

When baby was able to return home, i started to try nursing her.
Being a 1st time mum, i had some challenges getting baby to latch
on. At this, MIL retorted, the baby doesn't like your milk. Give her to
me, i'll do the feeding - with the bottle. You're starving the baby to death.
My poor grandchild.

:x :x :x :x :x This is pure evil!! I've heard this scenario described by many mothers and it always pisses me off. I absolutely detest MILs who DARE say such a thing to a mother. What an utter insult! How can anyone who's ever been a mother say such a thing to another mother! Preposterous! You have my complete sympathy, buds.

[jedamum]

winth:

same lor... DH told me half the time he wasn't listening to his mum ranting away too. But bec her voice is really loud, I haven't come to a point where I can be immuned to her yet.

Plus my SIL's voice is loud plus sharp,

hm...my dad's voice is loud too. then there is the loud chirping of his pet bird in the background and the noise of really noisy kids playing in the background too! my husband usually said he gets headache staying too long.

i'm just happy that he brings me to visit weekly...he can go shopping and go visit his 'Kun Ge' (Bro Ya Kun) anytime.

Phew! my husband don't have sisters to give me SIL problems. I wonder if i am a troublesome SIL to my own SIL - anyway we seldom chat and i only great her as 'hi' cos it's really weird to address her as 'Big Sis-in Law' when she is younger than me....

[buds]

jedamum:

I have 2 sons too, so my husband often joked that retribution will be twice if I am nasty :roll: Niwaes ( buds), i believe that the relationship (tolerance level) with PIL is governed by our relationship with our husband. some of us tolerate more cos our husband (like what insider said) and sometimes with our husband standing on or side, the PIL will 'give face'.

Yup, jedamum... i believe in retribution too.

Hence my tolerance level reached head banging stage and post-partum
depression. From my 1st day visiting them after our marriage, it has bn
a never-ending TV serial drama. But, i persevered. Had tremendous lots
of nonsensical arguments with hubs. We were young.

But, see... now, still i last one standing leh.
Alive and kicking.. Even BIL and SIL gave up
and flee out of the house. Her constant interference
created too much friction for the couple. They bought
house without telling us, and we all only found out aft
the movers came knocking at our door. Inside their room,
all stuff nicely packed liao. Selfish, but clever. Quickly push
responsibility to us. Never visited us then on or called to ask
how the old folks were doing. Until SIL gave birth, then MIL
went to see the grandchild. Until today, SIL has the \"i-control-
you-attitude\" with MIL. As vocal and diplomatic as i am... I am
not able to do the same. Can't bring myself to, even through all
the heartaches living together - i just endure. Worse part, during
the initial period of marriage, hubs never once made a stand on my
part. His words - My mum will always be number 1.
Until..... God opened his eyes.

Thank you god.. late as it may (your revelation)..
Better than never. Amen.

jedamum:

I think that is just random chit chat. I don't think it's wise to offer solutions in any form - elder people usually wants it their way . my husband will go 'ng..ng' nod nod...haha..ya...ya lor... then tell me he only understand 50% of the hokkien conversation with my dad. in times where he wanna :siam: and prefer to go shopping instead (yes! my man loves shopping!), i just tell my parents that he needs to run errands. 'every week must run errands meh?' my mum asked. yes...cos weekday i no time to do .

Cute!

Respect others the way we want to be respected.
As respect has to be earned... i earned mine the
long and hard way. Now, so far blissful...

At least until another episode lah, hah... :evil:

CHOI!!! :siam:

Wuahkahkahkahkahkah!

Throughout my 10 yrs..
it has taught me to be more
positive abt life than ever..
:celebrate:

MIL > Tks for your \"teachings\".

[buds]

winth:

wow... hopefully DH doesn't come find me here with all our stories in public forum chat. if not I sure kanna strangled to death.

Me three!!
Heheheh..

[buds]

jedamum:

buds:

And 10 yrs down the road now,
I'm still surviving.. Why? I slowly
tell, ok.

it is different staying with in-laws when you are a ftwm and staying with them when you are a sahm . latter one more drama/territorial issues?

Was working up till i had 2nd one.
FTWM, kena less. But still kena.
Hahahahaa!

To answer your question, yes, more drama when one is SAHM.

[jedamum]

sashimi:

I absolutely detest MILs who DARE say such a thing to a mother. What an utter insult! How can anyone who's ever been a mother say such a thing to another mother!

How about this too...
\"your boy doesn't like to go to school, don't force him. you want him have pschological damage? or jump off the building?\"
no la...not so direct la. but during the period of time when my ds1 was suffering from severe separation anxiety, the PIL will discuss (within my earshot) about newspaper articles over stress that school going kids face.... :roll:

[buds]

winth:

[quote]my husband will go 'ng..ng' nod nod...haha..ya...ya lor... then tell me he only understand 50% of the hokkien conversation with my dad

same lor... DH told me half the time he wasn't listening to his mum ranting away too. But bec her voice is really loud, I haven't come to a point where I can be immune to her yet.

Don't stone me. :siam:[/quote]You will come to that, dear...
Soon... soon... ok.

Meanwhile, hang in there.

[winth]

[quote]Worse part, during

the initial period of marriage, hubs never once made a stand on my
part. [/quote]I've complained this to him too. But I think, after so many years together, we've compromised on how to schedule them into our weekly routine so that we try to visit them, make the most out of the few hours together, try to make his mum happy by listening to her complaints, and him allowing me to take 'offs' so that I won't need to visit them as often, so as to reduce conflict.

They are his parents, so I know it's really hard on his part to make a choice. 手心手背都是肉.
[quote]His words - My mum will always be number 1. [/quote]He told me the opposite though, said he just hopes his mum is happy while he has already made me his number one choice.